I decided to sign up because maybe it is the time I should seek some clarity about my life experiences. A bit of my background. I am in my lat 30s and lived in USA. When I was 18, I experienced the Chi energy or Kundalini energy rising after I woke up from a dream. I dream that I was a scholar warrior back in the Han dynasty. It seems like in the dream I was circulating the micro-cosmic orbit by jumping up from the bottom of a cliff. Did a twist in the mid air and landing on the ground...while my point of vision or focus was on my navel area. I saw 2 men in front of me. Then, I woke up and the Chi energy was engulfing me all over for 4s. I was HOT and on fire. Blue and whitish lighting intensified on my forehead. When I opened my eyes, I could still see the light. Later, I was told, I was seeing the color of the Chi energy. After this experience, I got interested in meditation, something simple and without any clear ideas what I was doing. However, I could reproduce the micro-comsic orbit within 5 to 10 minutes of meditation, for several weeks. And the Chi energy was always hot but with a very short duration. Before this experience, I went through a process of deep self reflection and analysis, while I was in college and majoring the wrong field. Back then, I have no ideas what was happening to me. I could consistently reproduce the experience until I transferred to another college. Obviously, my chakras were all open and obviously, as you guess it, I began to have dreams about my past life (I think).
I left this college because my spiritual experiences as well as the emergence of my past life seemed to be in conflict with the college's academic agenda (another major life challenge I was facing). I left this college and transferred to another and finally got my degree, which I cared little about. At this point, I tried to put everything behind me and getting a job and to pay my bills.
3 years ago, I got laid off by the company I worked there for a long time. It has been in these 3 years I begin to study in meditation and to further examine what I was experiencing. And trying to understand the implication of my past life and my past life karma. Something I have been dealing with over 10 years. Only recently I have been reading up the works by William Bodri. I finally have some ideas about my own dharma. Up to the age of 18, I was practicing the Mahayana school of meditation, without knowing it. Although I didn't actively practicing meditation in the traditional sense, I was meditating either in my dreams or in my sleeps. After years of intense mental examination about my life (before I turned 18), I was awakened and initiated into my first samadhi. When the vision of my past life emerged, I was going into another stage of samadhi, which I think I am only now slowly coming to grasp the nature of it, after more than 10 years.
Knowing what I know now about my life, I am finding it hard to set myself a new life's path. I am at lost at the moment because I feel that I know where I want to go but not sure how to get there. Sorry for writing up a very dense post.
