a former student of aroter seeks help!

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inbetween
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Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:00 pm

a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by inbetween »

Hello everybody!

I am 40 years old guy from Finland. A couple of week ago I was on a hike in Lapland, Finland.
I met a woman there, a hiker, nothing more at that moment. We had some chatting and conversation
about life etc. which comes in mind when you meat people in wilderness. We ended up talking
about religion. I told her some experiences from my prevous study of subject.

As I told you being a former student of aroter, nyigma school, I told some stuff I
have learned from lama rigdzin to her. She was kind of moved and revealed her insight...
She told me about a sexual magic as a vehicle to whatever purposes...then she told me that these teachings
are also an excerpt from tibetan mysticism...and I was sold...deeply. So I sung some aroter yogic songs
and studied on some gnostic aspects, during the hike...in the wilderness.
I were so convinced about gnostics as a secret teaching of yeshe tsogyel...what a blasphemy and
Heresy we made of everything...I am so sorry!

At least I had a great karma and not had sex with that woman! So forward on. I got home healthy but mentally shocked. I thought I was revealed a truth...the very same they taught me in those days with aroter.

I got few books from her. A perfect matrimony written by samael aun weor and similar books of magic.
I read the books and got very very confused...since at same time I read dhammapada and did mantra Om Mani Padme Hum. So somehow I managed to study about gnosticism from a web page...ageac. And they had
Some teachings taken from aroter lineage and etc...then my alarm bells rang. That I am not worthy of
this since just before a millenia I left and resigned from aroter...left with a thought that Never in this life
life I could go back to my lama or buddhist studied. I tried to be a secret buddhist...then ended up
almost bewitched to white magic...


Then I found this! I am glad you saved this...I won't dare to think of...
I apology the whole sangha and Buddha for my sins and beg for help! I cannot do this on my own.
respectfully inbetween
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Kim O'Hara
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Kim O'Hara »

Welcome to Dharma Wheel, inbetween :hi:
It sounds like you have been exposed to a confusing mixture of traditions. Some of them are genuine dharma, others a grab-bag of dharma and non-dharma, and others nothing to do with dharma. :shrug:
I think you will be happier and more settled if you can stick to just one strong tradition. Are there any dharma centres near you?
If there are, that may help you decide which tradition is best for you to follow, since a live community is a great help on the path.

:namaste:
Kim
inbetween
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Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:00 pm

Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by inbetween »

Thank you Kim for your kind words. There is a truth under the story...it is Dharma that is so powerfull...and that is why I saw this great hoax. Witch I served untill today 2 hours ago. I have had a 20 years old fantasy of serving Buddha...but one did worse...I reflected the false truth in my every action untill now. I really need to be forgiven before I follow whatever path it turns out to be...sincerely inbetween ps. As an act I see this somehow selfish now...
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Dan74
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Dan74 »

Forgiven by whom?
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Paul
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Paul »

Good that you've got away from those guys. They sure do like playing dress-up.

Get yourself a connection to the Dzogchen Community if you are interested in continuing with Tibetan Buddhism. They are as legitimate as it comes & Rinpoche regularly hosts webcasts (this weekend, even) : http://www.dzogchen.it/
Look at the unfathomable spinelessness of man: all the means he's been given to stay alert he uses, in the end, to ornament his sleep. – Rene Daumal
the modern mind has become so limited and single-visioned that it has lost touch with normal perception - John Michell
inbetween
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Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:00 pm

Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by inbetween »

honestly I am not sure...since it is a false truth I have carried, I don,' t have much more than a feeling left. A feeling that says I need to apology from everyone...first before anything else...
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Paul
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Paul »

inbetween wrote:honestly I am not sure...since it is a false truth I have carried, I don,' t have much more than a feeling left. A feeling that says I need to apology from everyone...first before anything else...
Everyone makes mistakes. Ans since nobody deliberately follows a wrong teaching, there's nothing to apologise for. :shrug:
Look at the unfathomable spinelessness of man: all the means he's been given to stay alert he uses, in the end, to ornament his sleep. – Rene Daumal
the modern mind has become so limited and single-visioned that it has lost touch with normal perception - John Michell
inbetween
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by inbetween »

I can see that you are sincere people. Still choosing a new path at this point seems no good choise...yet. I have to discharge previous things, getting this situation to a kind of closure...one won't gain much by constantly changing attitudes..I know this from my own experience.
DGA
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by DGA »

inbetween wrote:honestly I am not sure...since it is a false truth I have carried, I don,' t have much more than a feeling left. A feeling that says I need to apology from everyone...first before anything else...
If you feel you've made a mistake, then simply apologize to all the Buddhas for your past mistakes, whatever they are. Promise not to repeat those mistakes. Then go on with the intention to do it right from now on. Try not to dwell on it afterward; that's not helpful. If you want closure, this is a way to get it.

I encourage you to stick with Dharma practice as best you can. That's the best way to set it right.

I wish you all the best in your path.
inbetween
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Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 12:00 pm

Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by inbetween »

If you feel you've made a mistake, then simply apologize to all the Buddhas for your past mistakes, whatever they are. Promise not to repeat those mistakes. Then go on with the intention to do it right from now on. Try not to dwell on it afterward; that's not helpful. If you want closure, this is a way to get it.

I encourage you to stick with Dharma practice as best you can. That's the best way to set it right.

I wish you all the best in your path.
Thank you! Sounds right. I will start with that.
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Ayu
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Ayu »

DGA wrote:
inbetween wrote:honestly I am not sure...since it is a false truth I have carried, I don,' t have much more than a feeling left. A feeling that says I need to apology from everyone...first before anything else...
If you feel you've made a mistake, then simply apologize to all the Buddhas for your past mistakes, whatever they are. Promise not to repeat those mistakes. Then go on with the intention to do it right from now on. Try not to dwell on it afterward; that's not helpful. If you want closure, this is a way to get it.

I encourage you to stick with Dharma practice as best you can. That's the best way to set it right.

I wish you all the best in your path.
:good:
And be confident: what DGA disribed here is an old buddhist purification practice. One of many.
So if the mistake is admitted and regretted the purification took place!
Buddhadharma is the strongest force against all binding, detaining and negative energies. You can also simply take refuge to Buddha Dharma and Sangha in your mind.

People who practice magic are skilled sometimes in confusing our minds with subtle methods. Using erotic or sexuality is a tool sometimes, that can scar deep wounds which can be healed by time and patience.
Best wishes.
inbetween
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by inbetween »

Thank you Ayu I feel a little comforted...kind people you are...
Malcolm
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Malcolm »

inbetween wrote: Then I found this! I am glad you saved this...I won't dare to think of...
I apology the whole sangha and Buddha for my sins and beg for help! I cannot do this on my own.
respectfully inbetween
You should make a connection with Chogyal Namkhai Norbu. He is running webcast retreat today actually, it starts in four hours roughly.

http://webcast.dzogchen.net/index.php?id=live-webcast
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Boomerang
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Boomerang »

Malcolm wrote:
inbetween wrote: Then I found this! I am glad you saved this...I won't dare to think of...
I apology the whole sangha and Buddha for my sins and beg for help! I cannot do this on my own.
respectfully inbetween
You should make a connection with Chogyal Namkhai Norbu. He is running webcast retreat today actually, it starts in four hours roughly.

http://webcast.dzogchen.net/index.php?id=live-webcast
Is it okay to just drop in and watch the webcast without having any idea what's going on?
Malcolm
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Malcolm »

Boomerang wrote:
Malcolm wrote:
inbetween wrote: Then I found this! I am glad you saved this...I won't dare to think of...
I apology the whole sangha and Buddha for my sins and beg for help! I cannot do this on my own.
respectfully inbetween
You should make a connection with Chogyal Namkhai Norbu. He is running webcast retreat today actually, it starts in four hours roughly.

http://webcast.dzogchen.net/index.php?id=live-webcast
Is it okay to just drop in and watch the webcast without having any idea what's going on?
yup
tingdzin
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by tingdzin »

It might be useful to keep it simple for awhile: read basic unglamorous Buddhism and do basic unglamorous practice, examining carefully not only the motives of the people who want you "on board" with their beliefs, as well as your own possible motives in being attracted to this or that group.
Malcolm
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Malcolm »

tingdzin wrote:It might be useful to keep it simple for awhile: read basic unglamorous Buddhism and do basic unglamorous practice, examining carefully not only the motives of the people who want you "on board" with their beliefs, as well as your own possible motives in being attracted to this or that group.
Well, in the case of the DC, we want you to convert people by handing out flowers at the airport.... :rolleye:
inbetween
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by inbetween »

Ok!

Thank you everybody...I have gained myself...hehe back again. So to speak, one will choose nothing instead of something to follow...and continue my life as it was before. One thing has changed, one no longer feels artificials on everyday acts. I am kind of reformed now.

I would be more than happy to deliver flowers you guys deliver on our airports, which are full of refugees now. I wonder if they can see the value of those flowers. Good intentions will not feed hungry people.

Well, that's that then.

In and out, I luv u! inbetween

ps. one will continue on orienteering the Path
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Garudavista
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Garudavista »

Welcome Inbetween. From what you've written, it sounds like you are a kind and sincere person who is currently experiencing some guilt and shame. The best purification for guilt and shame is getting to know your natural state and staying with that, and it doesn't sound like you were able to do that with aro gTer.

I've connected with a number of teachers and teachings in the past 20 years, some of which were helpful, but it wasn't until I connected with Chogyal Namkhai Norbu teachings that I then began to truly understand the natural state. So I agree with Malcolm and Paul. Make a connection with Chogyal Namkhai Norbu and the Dzogchen Community. You've got nothing to lose.
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Jim1
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Re: a former student of aroter seeks help!

Post by Jim1 »

Hi Inbetween, welcome! You've gotten some great suggestions here so far. And I definitely agree about keeping it simple. I would just focus on the Noble Eightfold Path, and taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.

With metta
Jim
"He who walks in the eightfold noble path with unswerving determination is sure to reach Nirvana." Buddha
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