Some thoughts on this. Sorry for such long posts.
"Standing outside" means an initial and imprecise perception, like hearing sounds within an empty container of silence as Yuren said.
Turning towards what is the container for sound (silence) or distraction (standing outside), there's more of the same: one thing relying on another, in relationship, one end of the stick that you pick up and get the other, too. Silence has a sound relative to sound, "standing outside" is relative to becoming involved.
So turning to subtle perceptions "standing outside" or "listening to silence," I haven't found an underlying layer of perception or mental feeling that supports awareness as distinct from them. No water distinct from the waves, or man behind the curtain.
I can't find some stratum of awareness that does not include objects of awareness.
So sounds don't reach anywhere, they aren't inside or outside, they aren't absorbed into something else.
So what's happening when you try anyway?
Can I find what looking through an eyeball looks like among the objects I see?
That's the "funny pretzel" I mentioned.
At some point, there can be a restful feeling of senses functioning by themselves effortlessly. Nothing is more interesting than anything else. Pain isn't an automatic source of tension and so on.
From what Dan said and what I've read, I think this is plain old samadhi arising from concentration on a sense gate, or objectless resting. So it's not really a place to dwell, either. You have to leave at some point.
My interest now is trying to "set down" everything I pick up. To me, that is "not being fooled by appearances."
Mostly it's thoughts and memories I pick up. That is, they become obsessing, engrossing, and lead to more of the same, the entire meditation session possibly.
Being engrossed, I don't notice their impermanence, dependency, or suffering. I add labels, "
I remember when
James and I
went hiking..." or "this agitated mind is really tiring" or "this peaceful relaxation must be the right way to go." Not in so many words, but the experience of settling into one impression, of tying together impressions and moments as continuous... memory, pain, discursive thinking, are all mini-selves.
The mind is calm, the body is relaxed, one thing: an impression of peace.
A memory of sex, the body responds, one thing: a sexual fantasy.
The body tingles, is warm, aversion, tension, one thing: pain.
So not being fooled is setting down, is losing preference. Losing preference is coming out of a dream. Coming out of a dream is seeing how memories have many gaps, how touch flickers rapidly, how sight pulses and fades... basically, how compound experiences, like "peace" or "sexual fantasy" or "seeing the wall", come apart into many non-peace, non-fantasy, non-seeing elements.
That way, appearances lose their allure on their own. There's no story in a bunch of letters. They become a story when we read them as words and sentences and paragraphs. But when you've grown up reading, it's deeply ingrained to whiz along reading whole books this way.
I can only talk about impressions and my imperfect practice.
Maybe it's inappropriate to share in an internet forum.
But I want to show what teachings can look like when clumsily attempted, because the mistakes I make are ones others will make, too