My experience.....

Discuss your personal experience with the Dharma here. How has it enriched your life? What challenges does it present?

My experience.....

Postby Chi Wai » Thu Mar 07, 2013 8:30 pm

Hello,

I decided to sign up because maybe it is the time I should seek some clarity about my life experiences. A bit of my background. I am in my lat 30s and lived in USA. When I was 18, I experienced the Chi energy or Kundalini energy rising after I woke up from a dream. I dream that I was a scholar warrior back in the Han dynasty. It seems like in the dream I was circulating the micro-cosmic orbit by jumping up from the bottom of a cliff. Did a twist in the mid air and landing on the ground...while my point of vision or focus was on my navel area. I saw 2 men in front of me. Then, I woke up and the Chi energy was engulfing me all over for 4s. I was HOT and on fire. Blue and whitish lighting intensified on my forehead. When I opened my eyes, I could still see the light. Later, I was told, I was seeing the color of the Chi energy. After this experience, I got interested in meditation, something simple and without any clear ideas what I was doing. However, I could reproduce the micro-comsic orbit within 5 to 10 minutes of meditation, for several weeks. And the Chi energy was always hot but with a very short duration. Before this experience, I went through a process of deep self reflection and analysis, while I was in college and majoring the wrong field. Back then, I have no ideas what was happening to me. I could consistently reproduce the experience until I transferred to another college. Obviously, my chakras were all open and obviously, as you guess it, I began to have dreams about my past life (I think).

I left this college because my spiritual experiences as well as the emergence of my past life seemed to be in conflict with the college's academic agenda (another major life challenge I was facing). I left this college and transferred to another and finally got my degree, which I cared little about. At this point, I tried to put everything behind me and getting a job and to pay my bills. :) 3 years ago, I got laid off by the company I worked there for a long time. It has been in these 3 years I begin to study in meditation and to further examine what I was experiencing. And trying to understand the implication of my past life and my past life karma. Something I have been dealing with over 10 years.

Only recently I have been reading up the works by William Bodri. I finally have some ideas about my own dharma. Up to the age of 18, I was practicing the Mahayana school of meditation, without knowing it. Although I didn't actively practicing meditation in the traditional sense, I was meditating either in my dreams or in my sleeps. After years of intense metal examination about my life (before I turned 18), I was awakened and initiated into my first samadhi. When the vision of my past life emerged, I was going into another stage of samadhi, which I think I am only now slowly coming to grasp the nature of it, after more than 10 years.

Knowing what I know now about my life, I am finding it hard to set myself a new life's path. I am at lost at the moment because I feel that I know where I want to go but not sure how to get there. Sorry for writing up a very dense post. :)
Chi Wai
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2013 7:08 pm

Re: My experience.....

Postby kirtu » Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:36 pm

Chi Wai wrote: I am at lost at the moment because I feel that I know where I want to go but not sure how to get there.


Well, where do you want to go?

As you know, microcosmic orbit meditation is Taoist and there are some good Taoist resources in the US (where are you?). Taoism is of course a different path than Buddhism.

Kirt
Kirt's Tibetan Translation Notes

"Only you can make your mind beautiful."
HH Chetsang Rinpoche
User avatar
kirtu
Former staff member
 
Posts: 4570
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:29 pm
Location: Baltimore, MD

Re: My experience.....

Postby greentara » Thu Mar 07, 2013 11:03 pm

chi, "I left this college and transferred to another and finally got my degree, which I cared little about" How did you manage to get your degree with all the spiritual distractions?
Quite amazing. You need to find a 'real' teacher to steady yourself, to progress or cement what you already are.
greentara
 
Posts: 928
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:03 am

Re: My experience.....

Postby Chi Wai » Fri Mar 08, 2013 5:17 am

greentara wrote:chi, "I left this college and transferred to another and finally got my degree, which I cared little about" How did you manage to get your degree with all the spiritual distractions?
Quite amazing. You need to find a 'real' teacher to steady yourself, to progress or cement what you already are.



Yes, I believe I need a real mentor or teacher or a guide or a guru. I don't believe my "innate spiritual talent" can complete my journey alone. How did I survive without going crazy or, worst, harming myself and others? I have heavenly guides or beings that I often see them in my dreams. They passed on knowledge and wisdom to me. On several occasions, I have dreams about various monks and even conversing with one in my dreams. It was more like my mind and consciousness was connected to them. I have another interesting real life encounter too. Before I left my second college because the dean didn't like my spiritual awakening and my own academic agenda, I was confronted with a blue eyed monk. He was working in the register office and doing paper works for the student. He dressed in modern clothing. He wasn't a westerner. His blue eyes weren't natural. Almost as if he was blind. I saw no pupils. Yet, he could see. He was looking over my register form and said that I have to learn knowledge for myself. I knew what he meant when he said. He understood my intentions. I felt a bit embarrassed since I wasn't registering for the classes for my own knowledge. It was for something else.

Interesting that you pointed out how I mentioned to complete my college education. For some unknown reason, I decided to attend a technical college for my liberal art, humanity degree. LOL Up to this day, I don't know why. If a more serious liberal art college couldn't even offer me the knowledge and understanding of my spiritual experience, I doubted that a liberal art program in a technical college would or could do better. Maybe I survived because I didn't try to reach out to people with my spiritual experience back then. I was young and with an underdeveloped consciousness. I may have even used my spiritual experience to gain some personal advantage over others.
Chi Wai
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Mar 07, 2013 7:08 pm

Re: My experience.....

Postby Sherab Dorje » Fri Mar 08, 2013 3:46 pm

Buddhism generally teaches that experiences are just experiences and should not be clung to or pushed away. If Buddhism is the tradition you wish to follow then find yourself a good teacher to help you continue your development.
"When one is not in accord with the true view
Meditation and conduct become delusion,
One will not attain the real result
One will be like a blind man who has no eyes."
Naropa - Summary of the View from The Eight Doha Treasures
User avatar
Sherab Dorje
Global Moderator
 
Posts: 9966
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 9:27 pm
Location: Greece


Return to Personal Experience

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Kim O'Hara, muni, sherlock_homes and 10 guests

>