Happiness

[oushi]

I was talking with my 8 yo daughter about emotions and mental activity. She is in this stage where she becomes aware of her emotions and how they interfere with her everyday activities. To my surprise, she is very interested in the topic of self-exploration, listening and asking question about the functioning of the mind. During one of our talks I was mantioning happiness, and she told me she does not know what is meant by happiness (It's worth mantioning that she is very cheerful kid, laughing most of the time). I gave it a thought, and I realised that there is no simple answer that I could give to her. I used a long, but simple explanation that will give her ground for future investigation. My question is, how would you do it, without promoting chase after fulfiling desires?

This is probably the most important thing for every human being, but to my surprise, it is not well defined. Going to wiki I found this definition: "Happiness is a fuzzy concept and can mean many different things to many people. Part of the challenge of a science of happiness is to identify different concepts of happiness, and where applicable, split them into their components. Related concepts are well-being, quality of life and flourishing. Some commentators focus on the difference between the hedonistic tradition of seeking pleasant and avoiding unpleasant experiences, and the eudaimonic tradition of living life in a full and deeply satisfying way.

So, what is happiness? Let's share views.

[shaunc]

So, what is happiness? Let's share views.

To be able to live your life, without a need or desire to engage in hedonistic activities. To live your life without harming others and benefitting those that you can. If you can live like this in a relaxed manner and not feel as though you're missing out on something I'd feel fairly confident in saying that you're a fairly happy person.

[oushi]

So, what is happiness? Let's share views.

To be able to live your life, without a need or desire to engage in hedonistic activities. To live your life without harming others and benefitting those that you can. If you can live like this in a relaxed manner and not feel as though you're missing out on something I'd feel fairly confident in saying that you're a fairly happy person.

That looks like a way that leads to happiness, but what is happiness itself? We can say it's absence of suffering, but if we cannot define it as something, it imply that it is primal, right?

[Osho]

Happiness can only flourish where there is freedom and letting go brings freedom.
Hope that helps.

[Lindama]

Simple state of wanting nothing... simpler to say no divisions in the mind, being at home in the world, simplest being oneself.

ofc, to start expanding on the meaning of happiness has already taken us away from it. It's lovely that your daughter does not know what it means... she is happiness. She is your teacher.

I've always bristled at the word, or at the notion that one has to be happy. Sometimes I am happy and at ease for no reason. For a lot of my life, I was not happy for no reason that I knew, I couldn't be no matter how hard I tried and I knew the smiles were fake. Objects don't make me all that happy. When I was 21 I bought a brand new car... fancy 69 Cougar . The very day I brought it home, I realized that it had not made me happy. That is not to say I lack admiration, even pride, for my newest acquisition. It is not happiness.

It seems key to avoid objectifying "wanting nothing" and "happiness". They are only words, and they can be taken in 84,000 ways depending on who is hearing. Wanting nothing can't be faked, it is natural, it can happen. It came through for me as "what I love does not exist", there was only love. My zen teacher said for her that it was "I want nothing". Only words, but we were in the same vibe. We all have our own words, it is known from inside.

The true meaning of happiness is not limited to our conventional ideas of what it looks like. It goes beyond a child's natural being to mature states where we are happy being in accord with what is happening, when we don't argue with the world or ourselves ... like the Tao. At one point, I wrote a piece contemplating my last words: "it had to be that way". They carry gratitude for the surrender and acceptance of the totality of my life and death. Those same words bring me closer to my true aliveness. The word happiness is inadequate in those waters.

[seeker242]

"To seek nothing is bliss" ~Bodhidharma

Now we just have to wake up to the fact that there is no reason to go seeking something else and to understand what "seeking nothing" really means. Easier said than done.

[Matt J]

I immediately think of a light, pleasant, expanding sensation that usually starts in my chest and spreads throughout the body. There is a certainly a positive "energy" that I associate with happiness.

[oushi]

"To seek nothing is bliss" ~Bodhidharma

Now we just have to wake up to the fact that there is no reason to go seeking something else and to understand what "seeking nothing" really means. Easier said than done.

Yes, this answer is correct, and this is what I told her, but especially for kinds, a story behind it is needed. Why do we seek when seeking nothing is happiness? It seems that something takes away this happiness and projects it into the future, so we strive to regain it. Like a donkey with a carrot on a stick. This is repeated over and over again.

I immediately think of a light, pleasant, expanding sensation that usually starts in my chest and spreads throughout the body. There is a certainly a positive "energy" that I associate with happiness.

Yes, it is a body sensation. I personally think that the body is naturally pulled into this state when it relaxes. Stress takes it away.

[dude]

That is not Buddhism

[oushi]

That is not Buddhism

What is not Buddhism? Even if you insist, why should we make Buddhism about of everything? This is Longue. I posted it here because I didn't want "Mahakalas" running around and disrupting friendly conversation.

[dude]

OK, sorry, if you're not saying it's Buddhism I have no objection.

[oushi]

OK, sorry, if you're not saying it's Buddhism I have no objection.

So, normally you agree with what I said, but if it comes to Buddhism you disagree? That implies that your view is not Buddhist.

Moreover, I don't have to say it's Buddhism. Even if I insist that it is fully compatible with every doctrine, will it make it more true? If you insist that it isn't Buddhist, will it make it false?
If you want pure Buddhism, check out sutras. Here, we are trying to understand happiness, and I see no reason why we shouldn't lean on teachings we find helpful. Seeker242 is referring to teaching of Bodhidharma (quite important figure in Buddhism), and that's great. I see no point in reciting and memorizing teaching, but a great benefit comes from using them.
So, is it Buddhism or not? You decide. I could go on and try to prove it is Buddhism, and believe me, you would have a hard time proving me wrong. But what would we gain from such quarrel? Would it be Buddhism? It wouldn't.