How do you answer people who try to convert you?

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Serenity509
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How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by Serenity509 »

It's a little weird when Christians insist Buddha didn't rise from the dead, therefore Buddhism must be a false religion, as if the resuscitation of a human corpse is relevant to Buddhism. By passing into final Nirvana, Buddha became all knowing, ever-present, and all-powerful in his ability to lead all sentient beings to enlightenment. This is extraordinary, especially considering that he started as a mortal man.

I haven't even mentioned yet how the Gospels were written decades after the events were supposed to have taken place, and reflect an evolution of the story over time, including contradictions, when their resurrection accounts are compared side by side. Buddha didn't part the Red Sea either, but I don't know of any rabbis threatening me with hell.

I don't mean to bad mouth any particular religion. I've been keeping my conversion to Buddhism a secret from my parents because I'm worried about the reaction, even though I'm a full grown adult with a family of my own. I've also read stories about Buddhists in the workplace and in public schools who've been talked to or talked about unfairly for their non-Christian beliefs. My wife doesn't want me to raise our children Buddhist out of fear that they would be discriminated against in school, even though the United States is supposed to be a free country.
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Redfaery
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by Redfaery »

Ummm...the sutras weren't written down for a long time either, just so you know.

But the best answer to people who try to convert you is "I don't wish to discuss it."
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Serenity509
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by Serenity509 »

Redfaery wrote:Ummm...the sutras weren't written down for a long time either, just so you know.
Yes, that's true, but like the New Testament Gospels, the sutras may have been based on earlier oral tradition.
Redfaery wrote: But the best answer to people who try to convert you is "I don't wish to discuss it."
What do you do in a work environment where your coworkers are hostile or disparaging of your beliefs?
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Redfaery
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by Redfaery »

Serenity509 wrote:
Redfaery wrote: But the best answer to people who try to convert you is "I don't wish to discuss it."
What do you do in a work environment where your coworkers are hostile or disparaging of your beliefs?
Depends on the situation. Is this happening to you right now?
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Paul
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by Paul »

"Sorry, I'm not interested."
Look at the unfathomable spinelessness of man: all the means he's been given to stay alert he uses, in the end, to ornament his sleep. – Rene Daumal
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by Johnny Dangerous »

Serenity509 wrote:
Redfaery wrote:Ummm...the sutras weren't written down for a long time either, just so you know.
Yes, that's true, but like the New Testament Gospels, the sutras may have been based on earlier oral tradition.
Redfaery wrote: But the best answer to people who try to convert you is "I don't wish to discuss it."
What do you do in a work environment where your coworkers are hostile or disparaging of your beliefs?

I grew up around this, not in my family, but lots of other places, so i'll share my conclusions:

Firstly, try to understand that according to their beliefs they are being compassionate towards you by trying to "save" you. It's hard to accept this, but it is so, they are trying to find peace in the world just like you. Even if their way of doing it doesn't make much sense.

Do your best to reconcile with them..it's not easy,but IME it takes care of part of the feeling of isolation. As far as actual conversations, there are a couple approaches, you can try debating them, sometimes the results of that are surprising. I had a guy come up to me in the Buddhist section of a bookstore once to "save me" and he actually ended up walking away due to MY questions of him. Typically I don't do that though, I just do what I do with the ones that come door to door, thank them for their concern for me (if i'm feeling nice enough) and send them on their way, making clear i'm not interested.


Lastly, I have thought a lot about the fact that as a Dharma practitioner, this sort of thing is my Karma. I grew up around fundamentalists, i'm not around them anymore,however my life amusingly still has social religious frictions front and center, I always end up in uncomfortable social situations surrounding religion, the scenery changes but this remains consistent. I do my best to make it a way of opening up to others, and hopefully working through my own stuff..as hard as it is.

Which brings me to the last thing:

If it's possible, you could think about moving to a more Dharma-friendly location.
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when afflicted by disease

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared

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BrianG
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by BrianG »

I usually just go along with it, and if they mention anything virtuous, I'll smile and say "that's great". Last time this happened, I think they assumed I was Christian already, invited me to church, and went about their way.
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Serenity509
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by Serenity509 »

Redfaery wrote:
Serenity509 wrote:
Redfaery wrote: But the best answer to people who try to convert you is "I don't wish to discuss it."
What do you do in a work environment where your coworkers are hostile or disparaging of your beliefs?
Depends on the situation. Is this happening to you right now?
No, but my wife is worried that our children will be treated differently in school if I raise them Buddhist.
SeeLion
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by SeeLion »

When I have time and patience, I listen carefully and then go about my own business. I do have admiration for these people, their perseverance and desire to share.

Since the issue of children seems to be an important topic, I'd like to share some thoughts.

A teacher said that one should not "raise Buddhist kids", but rather cultivate reason and critical thinking.

If your kids will be growing in a Christian environment, I see no contradiction to cultivating peace of mind, compassion, equanimity, understanding of the mind and other Buddhist values. Or even learning about the life of the Buddha.

The combo of humility and God worship is a version of non-self which has important advantages (for example easy and effective to apply).

A fun point of view from Hindu circles - apparently when Christians started to preach in India, the locals reaction wasn't to contradict them, but rather in the lines of - Great, now we have another God to worship, along the other 1000 Gods and Demigods.

Sometimes Christianity displays some aggressive traits (probably arisen from the mental state of certain preachers), probably it is good to find ways to mitigate those.
Last edited by SeeLion on Wed Jul 29, 2015 9:58 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by muni »

No, but my wife is worried that our children will be treated differently in school if I raise them Buddhist.
Oh, no need. No worries are necessary, somehow all religions have something similar, when genuinly applied. When this is expressed by our daily attitude, then no problem.
We do not learn our children to answer "I am empty" when we ask them how they are after a school day. They should not tell us their day was impermanent. :smile:

I use to listen a bit, when I can. When they push, then I leave it. Anyway, what is similar can become visible. Maybe we can react on that and not react on Buddha this, Jesus that and Alah so. I definitely avoid to go in discussion about these differences to not trigger unnecessary clinging, which can result in an agitated mind.
From the point of Buddhist for example the attitude is kindness and the wish ALL are free in any case.

H H Dalai Lama:
In spite of differing philosophies, all the major world religions have a similar message, and similar advice for humanity. There are some extraordinary persons who follow different religions who have totally transformed their inner state. As a result, they are truly compassionate and wise. This implies that all these different traditions have the potential to produce such inner transformation in the human mind. It is extremely important to have genuine harmony among the religious traditions. It is possible since there is a common ground. And once we know more about other traditions, we automatically develop more respect and appreciation for them. Genuine mutual understanding leads to mutual respect. As far as Buddhism is concerned, it involves the training of the mind.
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by muni »

If your kids will be growing in a Christian environment, I see no contradiction to cultivating peace of mind, compassion, equanimity, understanding of the mind and other Buddhist values. Or even learning about the life of the Buddha.
:namaste:
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by seeker242 »

"Thank you for praying for me" :group:
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by DGA »

Serenity509 wrote:
What do you do in a work environment where your coworkers are hostile or disparaging of your beliefs?
In the US, such discrimination on the part of an employer is illegal. Here's the protocol:

1. Document the hostility.

2. Call a lawyer.

Done and done.

That said, I've only once had a supervisor give me trouble for my Buddhist practice--and only on one occasion. I gave her a pass and had no problems working for her for about three years after.
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by DGA »

Serenity509 wrote:
No, but my wife is worried that our children will be treated differently in school if I raise them Buddhist.
They will be treated differently. That doesn't mean they will be treated badly, though--or much differently from the other kids.

Christianity is changing fast generationally--the far-right fundamentalist scene is dying a slow demographic death--so it's really hard to generalize how life will be for your children in that milieu in five or ten years. Who knows for sure? It's more important that you give them the most supportive, loving home you can, and if you think that's a Buddhist home, then make it a Buddhist home, even if your spouse fears the hypothetically real but statistically small possibility that your kids may get a sliver of trouble for it.
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by theanarchist »

Serenity509 wrote:
What do you do in a work environment where your coworkers are hostile or disparaging of your beliefs?

Why would you make religion an important topic at your workplace? Is your boss a christian zealot?

And what would they do if they had a native Indian hindu or sikh or Chinese buddhist co-worker?

I would mention my belief if they explicitly ask, but not discuss religion at all.
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by Kaccāni »

Offer some coffee.
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by Urgyen Dorje »

I live in the Deep South, the veritable Bible Belt. I have to go stealth when it comes to my Buddhist practice. Being outted as a Buddhist in the past has caused me contracts and other problems, namely social alienation. What I do is talk to everyone in their own metaphor. When people come on with Jesus language, I respond in return. I used to feel that was dishonest, but I no longer feel that way. I've come to a respect and admiration of the Abrahamic tradition only through my Buddhist practice. I also follow the sentiment of my teachers who like Garchen Rinpoche who see Christ as a bodhisattva.

So when people ask if I'm saved, I just say yes. Their sentiment is of spiritual concern, and I have that covered. If people ask if I believe in God or Jesus, I just say yes, as that is just an embodiment of love and compassion.
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by Malcolm »

Serenity509 wrote:It's a little weird when Christians insist Buddha didn't rise from the dead, therefore Buddhism must be a false religion...
Buddha never died. Who wants to follow a religion that idolizes a revenant?
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

Post by DGA »

Malcolm wrote: Who wants to follow a religion that idolizes a revenant?
:shrug:

Not my problem.

That's my answer to the OP: the urge of others to try to convert me to their doctrines is not my problem. I let people do their thing for a while, ask them if they've had enough, and then move on. I don't argue or debate. Sometimes I pretend to be stupider than I really am just to get it over with quicker--for their sake, because being a witness is a tiresome act. It's a lot like being stuck in an elevator with someone trying to show off their hemorrhoids as the latest fashion. It's kind of sad and awkward.
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Re: How do you answer people who try to convert you?

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