Repairing the damage from fake tantra

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spiritualtrainwreck
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Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by spiritualtrainwreck »

Hi, everyone. I'm new here and I have a question to pose to you all.

In 2014, I received practices from someone who attended empowerments from a legitimate lama in bad faith. The manner in which they were in bad faith is restricted in the TOS, so it will have to suffice to say that they did not actually receive the empowerments and definitely weren't qualified to give them to me.

I stopped practicing these teachings and cut off contact with the person that gave me them after it became clear they were using the student teacher relationship to abuse and exploit people for an unrelated agenda they were paid for.

Now I want to really receive the tantric teachings and practice them, but I feel spiritually dirty and I know what I was taught was not tantra and was psychologically destructive and encouraged me to be self righteously malicious towards people that got in my way (divine rage) and lie.

How can I clean out my mind of these wrong ideas and make a pure relationship with the Buddha's teachings?
Malcolm
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Malcolm »

spiritualtrainwreck wrote:Hi, everyone. I'm new here and I have a question to pose to you all.

In 2014, I received practices from someone who attended empowerments from a legitimate lama in bad faith. The manner in which they were in bad faith is restricted in the TOS, so it will have to suffice to say that they did not actually receive the empowerments and definitely weren't qualified to give them to me.

I stopped practicing these teachings and cut off contact with the person that gave me them after it became clear they were using the student teacher relationship to abuse and exploit people for an unrelated agenda they were paid for.

Now I want to really receive the tantric teachings and practice them, but I feel spiritually dirty and I know what I was taught was not tantra and was psychologically destructive and encouraged me to be self righteously malicious towards people that got in my way (divine rage) and lie.

How can I clean out my mind of these wrong ideas and make a pure relationship with the Buddha's teachings?
Well, one thing, you are not at fault in any way. So you are not tainted.

Find a qualified master, and continue on your way. It is never too late.
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Adamantine
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Adamantine »

spiritualtrainwreck wrote:
How can I clean out my mind of these wrong ideas and make a pure relationship with the Buddha's teachings?
The best antidote to adharma (false dharma) is authentic dharma. So you can begin by studying the teachings of authentic masters who are widely recognized and revered as such, through video and audio recordings or published books. You can make aspiration prayers to find a connection with an authentic Vajra master with whom you can fully place your faith and devotion. You can also use this forum to let us know the region you are in so we could help direct you to authentic teachers who may be logistically accessible.

You could begin by listening to this teaching by Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche called "Crying to the Guru From Afar", which discusses the power of aspiration in cultivating the causes and conditions to connect with an authentic master: http://www.siddharthasintent.org/resour ... from-Afar/
Contentment is the ultimate wealth;
Detachment is the final happiness. ~Sri Saraha
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ClearblueSky
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by ClearblueSky »

You don't need to feel "dirty". Not only can your Buddha nature not get dirty, but you didn't do anything bad, and even murderers have changed paths and become enlightened. If it will help you, you could do sojong, make an offering to the three jewels, and state you are officially moving on and letting go of that, even if just for your own peace of mind.
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Ivo
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Ivo »

If the person was not qualified to give empowerments there was no real samaya and not any stain on your part. There is nothing to worry about. As Malcolm said, you are not at fault. And you should change your username, as being a "spiritual train wreck" permanently is not very auspicious :)
Just find a legitimate master. Plenty of those still exist, and if you aim at the top and establish connection to someone who is very well known and beyond any controversy and doubt, you will be safe. This is the best you can do for yourself, and for others too.
Fortyeightvows
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Fortyeightvows »

four noble truths
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Virgo
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Virgo »

Yes, connect yourself with someone without any controversy. An unsullied Guru, if you will. . .

Kevin
justlikemoonshade
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by justlikemoonshade »

I'm sorry for your unfortunate event. Since it happened already, what's left now is to find out how to solve it. There are some purification practices, ie: ngondro, vajrasatva 100 syllables. You need empowerment for that practices. So I would suggest first thing for you to do is to find a legitimate teacher, and tell all your problems. Legitimate teachers should know what's best for you. Make sure you check the teacher this time.

Something from dharma teachings I heard of that could probably ease you a bit: " there's no bad karma that couldn't be purified"

Make the effort now, find an authentic teacher, tell him/her the problems, practise it dilligently. Wish you all the best.
lobsangdaigi
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by lobsangdaigi »

If you truly believe in the dharma, it is impossible for you to be spiritually dirty, because in the world of dharma, there is no dirtiness, and there is no "no dirtiness" (meaning cleanliness, purity, etc.) either, as the Heart Sutra says. Your thinking of being spiritually dirty yourself is only your perception. It is not true. So there is nothing stopping you from learning dharma if you are truly serious and humble about accepting its teaching and ideas, such as this one.
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Ayu
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Ayu »

lobsangdaigi wrote:If you truly believe in the dharma, it is impossible for you to be spiritually dirty, because in the world of dharma, there is no dirtiness, and there is no "no dirtiness" (meaning cleanliness, purity, etc.) either, as the Heart Sutra says. Your thinking of being spiritually dirty yourself is only your perception. It is not true. So there is nothing stopping you from learning dharma if you are truly serious and humble about accepting its teaching and ideas, such as this one.
This might be true, if the mind remains already in a pure field.
But on the way reaching there, wrong teachers, wrong teachings and anxieties about these phenomenons might be a personal reality.
That's why I disagree to your claim and how you present it here. You can only speak for yourself, but you can't judge generally about the distress other people have to go through due to wrong teachers.
Simon E.
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Simon E. »

Malcolm wrote:
spiritualtrainwreck wrote:Hi, everyone. I'm new here and I have a question to pose to you all.

In 2014, I received practices from someone who attended empowerments from a legitimate lama in bad faith. The manner in which they were in bad faith is restricted in the TOS, so it will have to suffice to say that they did not actually receive the empowerments and definitely weren't qualified to give them to me.

I stopped practicing these teachings and cut off contact with the person that gave me them after it became clear they were using the student teacher relationship to abuse and exploit people for an unrelated agenda they were paid for.

Now I want to really receive the tantric teachings and practice them, but I feel spiritually dirty and I know what I was taught was not tantra and was psychologically destructive and encouraged me to be self righteously malicious towards people that got in my way (divine rage) and lie.

How can I clean out my mind of these wrong ideas and make a pure relationship with the Buddha's teachings?
Well, one thing, you are not at fault in any way. So you are not tainted.

Find a qualified master, and continue on your way. It is never too late.
This. The inauthentic 'empowerments' that you received cannot help you. But they are without any power unless you imbue them. Walk on.
“You don’t know it. You just know about it. That is not the same thing.”

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
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_R_
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by _R_ »

Ask from the likes of Sakya Trizen, Tai Situ Rinpoche, etc. You can contact their offices or whatever. I doubt anyone here can give any meaningful advice. It's best you leave that experience behind like you would blow snot from your nose.

Lamas usually recommend doing Guru Rinpoche's seven line prayer when there's obstacles on the path. It is even more beneficial during this year.
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Fortyeightvows
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Fortyeightvows »

_R_ wrote: It is even more beneficial during this year.
Why particularly this year?
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Grigoris
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Grigoris »

Fortyeightvows wrote:
_R_ wrote: It is even more beneficial during this year.
Why particularly this year?
Because it is Monkey year and Guru Rinpoche was born on the monkey day, of the Monkey month, of the Monkey year.

It is Guru Rinpoche year!
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde
Saoshun
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Saoshun »

Analyze like this. Do you find any "I" in this body besides the body, so is you body can be tainted or dirty if it's already full of maggots and bacterias, pus, doodoo, pee and other things? No worries about that, body can handle it, trust the body, your mind is playing you some tape about being dirty or other stuff but if you look carefully and analyze from head to toe try to look up for any "I" in the body which is not the body.
chimechodra
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by chimechodra »

Sherab Dorje wrote:
Fortyeightvows wrote:
_R_ wrote: It is even more beneficial during this year.
Why particularly this year?
Because it is Monkey year and Guru Rinpoche was born on the monkey day, of the Monkey month, of the Monkey year.

It is Guru Rinpoche year!
Do you know what specific day Monkey Day falls on the Monkey month this year? Would be good to make a note in my calendar. :)
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Grigoris
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by Grigoris »

chimechodra wrote:Do you know what specific day Monkey Day falls on the Monkey month this year? Would be good to make a note in my calendar. :)
Depends on which lunar calender your tradition follows.
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde
chimechodra
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by chimechodra »

Sherab Dorje wrote:
chimechodra wrote:Do you know what specific day Monkey Day falls on the Monkey month this year? Would be good to make a note in my calendar. :)
Depends on which lunar calender your tradition follows.
I mainly practice within the Dudjom Tersar and Dzogchen Community, and I've noticed that they both have the same tsok days, so I assume they're using the same calendar? Not sure which one that is though.
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Re: Repairing the damage from fake tantra

Post by conebeckham »

PhukLuk. The main tradition for Tibetan astrology.
དམ་པའི་དོན་ནི་ཤེས་རབ་ཆེ་བ་དང་།
རྟོག་གེའི་ཡུལ་མིན་བླ་མའི་བྱིན་རླབས་དང་།
སྐལ་ལྡན་ལས་འཕྲོ་ཅན་གྱིས་རྟོགས་པ་སྟེ།
དེ་ནི་ཤེས་རབ་ལ་ནི་ལོ་རྟོག་སེལ།།


"Absolute Truth is not an object of analytical discourse or great discriminating wisdom,
It is realized through the blessing grace of the Guru and fortunate Karmic potential.
Like this, mistaken ideas of discriminating wisdom are clarified."
- (Kyabje Bokar Rinpoche, from his summary of "The Ocean of Definitive Meaning")
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