confused,excited,and learning

Forum for discussion of Tibetan Buddhism. Questions specific to one school are best posted in the appropriate sub-forum.
Post Reply
jay88
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:49 pm

confused,excited,and learning

Post by jay88 »

Hello everyone

So I have been reading Words of my perfect teacher for about two years now. A friend I guess that what I should call him, told me to read this book and talk about it chapter with him well that lasted about the first two weeks. Then I went on a retreat to his temple in eastern tibet for about 5-6 day. This was my first retreat and we had to follow the 8 precepts and couldnt talk afternoon or eat . Another side note as a smoker not being able to eat or drink and no smokes for five.to six days was a bit much for me so early in mypath in buddhism. Anyways I made it through everything and learn the truemeaning of monkey mind haha. nicotine withdralls and not being able to play on my phone facebook , twitter, google whatever . long story short lost my phone llost hes contact info on the why back home then moved out of the country fast forword two years studying words of my perfect teacher and my tulku friend messages me a friend request on socail media lol. So i ask him about meditation practice from where i left off breathing meditation and he said when he gets back from his month long retreat in Sikkim we can talk about it. So what do you all think should this be my guru? Also the only other thing I really now about his school is hes a nyingmapa . anything you think i need to do to truly know if he should be my teacher aka guru. Also he did tell me back then that I would be his first western decipule.
A Ah Sha Sa Ma Ha
Posts: 1494
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 2:01 am

Re: confused,excited,and learning

Post by A Ah Sha Sa Ma Ha »

Follow your heart...
tingdzin
Posts: 1948
Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:19 am

Re: confused,excited,and learning

Post by tingdzin »

There is no need to commit to anyone as your sole teacher at present. Talk about meditation and what you've been reading when he gets out of retreat, and maybe take refuge if you haven't already, but take things easy. In traditional Tibetan Buddhism, a teacher and disciple examine and get to know each other for an extended period before serious commitments are made on either side. It's good to have a connection like you do, but entering into a teacher-disciple relationship is a subtle thing and not to be rushed into too lightly.
User avatar
Ayu
Global Moderator
Posts: 13259
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2012 8:25 am
Location: Europe

Re: confused,excited,and learning

Post by Ayu »

"Extended period" = 12 years possibly.

In the berzinarchives there are some interesting articles about the relationship between student and teacher. For example: "Avoiding Confusion in the Spiritual Student-Teacher Relationship"
http://www.berzinarchives.com/web/en/ar ... acher.html
jay88
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:49 pm

Re: confused,excited,and learning

Post by jay88 »

Thank you all for the kind and informitive answers. I should be meeting my friend in a week or so . I have so many questions for him haha I remember now that everytime i would go see him almost all the questions i had for him just left my mind . I dont know why hes a nice guy but he dose scare me in a strange why like I dont want to ask him to many questions and him think im trying to find foult in the dharma or tibetan buddhism . A question for you all is How can we follow a guru if buddha said before he died dont follow any leader? And how come tibetin monks all have the newest iphones? And how come so many of the tulkus and higher lamas in western sichuan and tibet have bmw,audi,mercedies? If the histrical buddha and his orignial followers gave up matrial thing how come they aquire all this ? On topof that most of the laymens that follow some of these lamas have nothing . Im just telling you what i see living her and spending time in and around tibet . Ive never been to india to see how the exiled tibets live and never really spent time in tibetan centers inthe states. But most lower monks here seem more onthe path to me fromwhat i can see and i do feel bad for judging before finding out more but im still human and its hard not to . i hope for answers
User avatar
Ayu
Global Moderator
Posts: 13259
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2012 8:25 am
Location: Europe

Re: confused,excited,and learning

Post by Ayu »

jay88 wrote:Thank you all for the kind and informitive answers. I should be meeting my friend in a week or so . I have so many questions for him haha I remember now that everytime i would go see him almost all the questions i had for him just left my mind . I dont know why hes a nice guy but he dose scare me in a strange why like I dont want to ask him to many questions and him think im trying to find foult in the dharma or tibetan buddhism . A question for you all is How can we follow a guru if buddha said before he died dont follow any leader? And how come tibetin monks all have the newest iphones? And how come so many of the tulkus and higher lamas in western sichuan and tibet have bmw,audi,mercedies? If the histrical buddha and his orignial followers gave up matrial thing how come they aquire all this ? On topof that most of the laymens that follow some of these lamas have nothing . Im just telling you what i see living her and spending time in and around tibet . Ive never been to india to see how the exiled tibets live and never really spent time in tibetan centers inthe states. But most lower monks here seem more onthe path to me fromwhat i can see and i do feel bad for judging before finding out more but im still human and its hard not to . i hope for answers
I can't answer that, I have never been to Tibet.
How come, that you as a westerner are travelling in and around Tibet? Just curious.
jay88
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:49 pm

Re: confused,excited,and learning

Post by jay88 »

hi ayu I live and work in Chengdu china right next to tibet.
User avatar
Manju
Posts: 96
Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:51 am

Re: confused,excited,and learning

Post by Manju »

Jay, I am a Westerner living and working in Kathmandu since many years and had many questions like you have now when I started out with Dharma years ago.

Regarding material possessions some teachers have.
A good answer I once got from a Master was:
I have this precious carpet in my room here to remind me that I do not need it.

Teachers, Monasteries etc. get financial donations because lay people see it as meritorious to donate.

Second point: There is a strict hierarchy in Asia and if one does not follow it one is not taken seriously by the people one cares for. To balance this sort of thing out is time-consuming and very important.
A good teacher knows how to do it and will at times display great wealth, if necessary.

You are blessed to live in Chengdu and to have the opportunity to go to Kham frequently.
What an interesting and challenging path.

Get in contact with others who know the region and know how to relate to the Dharma being taught there right now.
You should get advice through PM and the like.

Manju
tingdzin
Posts: 1948
Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2013 7:19 am

Re: confused,excited,and learning

Post by tingdzin »

Your dilemma is one of the reasons why you should not jump in to make commitments too fast. But let me try to address your questions one by one.
1) Don't try to ask too many questions at once. The process of learning is gradual, and, as you say, it can be seen as challenging, particularly if you ask a lot of questions about things that bother you. If you simply quietly observe and reflect, you can learn a lot.
2) IMO, the Buddha intended that we should not follow anyone blindly. But if we do not accept that there are people who know more an are more experienced than we are, we will never get anywhere in understanding what Shakyamuni taught. We should, though, follow everyone, even those who wear robes or have a title or position in a Buddhist organization, with our eyes open.
3) Material things such as cars are useful and sometimes necessary, and it seems to be a feature of Buddhism in China particularly that people feel that the more expensive offerings they give to the sangha, the more merit they get. It is my opinion, though, that monks who are preoccupied with i-phones and the like are missing the point of the whole thing, but, again, it is better not to challenge them on it, especially as a newbie and a foreigner.
4) If one is a serious follower of Buddhism, it is better not to come to judgements about things or people too quickly. This is not to say that one should not exercise one's critical faculties, but particularly as a beginner, and also even in the long run, it's usually better to decide what is wholesome and valuable for oneself, and let others go their own ways.
User avatar
catmoon
Former staff member
Posts: 3423
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2009 3:20 am
Location: British Columbia

Re: confused,excited,and learning

Post by catmoon »

jay88 wrote:And how come so many of the tulkus and higher lamas in western sichuan and tibet have bmw,audi,mercedies?
Well the tulku system is a bit broken. Considerable suspicion has been raised here and elsewhere that tulku status is mainly an issue of making a sufficiently large donation to a temple, lama or organization. There have been a number of notable examples of tulkus that exhibit rather,,,,, unusual... behaviour.

On the plus side, these people need transportation as much as anyone else, and the more reliable it is, the less it will intrude on them doing their jobs. Security issues can arise as well. Are the cars excessive? It's debatable at least. Imagine trying to get around on horseback these days!
Sergeant Schultz knew everything there was to know.
Post Reply

Return to “Tibetan Buddhism”