Tonglen for Jesse

[SeekerNo1000003]

Jesse, I hope you're okay...

I was wondering if I could extend an invitation to anyone interested to do a Tonglen for Jesse? (and all who are stricken with depression, mental illness, or other overwhelming problems).

I'm new to the practice. Perhaps someone could suggest a way to organize this and perhaps provide more information about the subject if possible?
May any merit go to the benefit of all beings.

[Qing Tian]

My path is largely based around Ch'an so I am unskilled and somewhat ignorant of Tibetan practices, though from what I have just read it sounds not dissimilar to what I have been doing, which is acknowledging the suffering in the world on an in-breath, and extending my love to as many as I can imagine on the out-breath.

If I am doing something wrong could someone please instruct me a little (I have no teacher here).

I too hope that Jesse is okay.

[Grigoris]

Tonglen is quite similar (in its basic aspects) to Theravada metta meditation and to the practice you are describing Qing Tian.

TAYATHA OM BEKANDZE BEKANDZE MAHA BEKANDZE RAJA SAMUDGATE SOHA

May all beings be healed of their mental and physical illnesses and suffering.

[Ayu]

I'm glad you opened this thread. I feel sad, since Jesse made his last unhappy posting and I do Tonglen for him since one month already.

I'm not sure, if I'm allowed to describe it here how I do it.

When I learned about Tonglen, first I tried to practise it from a description in a book - but I couldn't do it right. It was very uncomfotable for me and I stopped that. Then later I visited a lecture about Tonglen. The Lama explained much about giving from the heart and we made many meditative exercises on giving. At last we practised Tonglen together - and THEN I understood the mental requirements for giving & taking (= Tonglen). The Lamas presence thaught much more about it than the book. It was like a plug was released from my heart.

It is a very joyfull practise for me now. And it makes me sad, that this joy couldn't make it over the ocean to rescue Jesse.

[Vajrasvapna]

The practice of Tonglen is part of the Atisha's teaching called seven points to train the mind. You should not take a realistic attitude, you should keep in mind the teachings on emptiness. So you know that the suffering of all beings is something illusory and it will not really affect you. Thus 'breathing in' you get all the suffering and negative karma created by negative emotions, breathing out you dedicate all your merit and good karma. My favorite book about the subject is the Shamar Rinpoche's The Path to Awakening. This is my favorite practice, I'm always trying to practice it during the day.

[Redfaery]

I haven't been a member here for long, so I didn't know him well, though I've seen his other unhappy posts. I feel like I should do something too, since I have my own mental health issues that have led me into some pretty unhappy places. I've had a clinical depression that led to me feeling "passive" suicidal thoughts (i.e. "I really wish I would just die" vs. "I'm going to kill myself." - big difference, but still really scary to me looking back on it). I have Aspergers syndrome, so sorting out what's going on in other's heads is difficult for me (this is why we get accused of having no empathy or compassion. We do. It's just hard for us to know when those around us need our sympathy). But when someone makes such a desperate, emotional plea as Jesse did, Aspies such as myself are really, really hit hard.

I can't do Tonglen, since I don't know how, but would reciting the nembutsu be appropriate? I will also specifically keep Jesse in mind when I do my offerings in the morning.

[Johnny Dangerous]

I haven't been a member here for long, so I didn't know him well, though I've seen his other unhappy posts. I feel like I should do something too, since I have my own mental health issues that have led me into some pretty unhappy places. I've had a clinical depression that led to me feeling "passive" suicidal thoughts (i.e. "I really wish I would just die" vs. "I'm going to kill myself." - big difference, but still really scary to me looking back on it). I have Aspergers syndrome, so sorting out what's going on in other's heads is difficult for me (this is why we get accused of having no empathy or compassion. We do. It's just hard for us to know when those around us need our sympathy). But when someone makes such a desperate, emotional plea as Jesse did, Aspies such as myself are really, really hit hard.

I can't do Tonglen, since I don't know how, but would reciting the nembutsu be appropriate? I will also specifically keep Jesse in mind when I do my offerings in the morning.

Tonglen is really easy to do and requires no initiation or anything like that. If you want good explanatory notes I recommend this book:

http://wisdompubs.org/book/dispel-misery-world" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

It's pretty heavy but great stuff, there is also this site on the 59 Lojong slogans, which includes stuff on exchanging self and other - Tonglen.

http://lojongmindtraining.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[undefineable]

But when someone makes such a desperate, emotional plea as Jesse did, Aspies such as myself are really, really hit hard.

I second that. And, even when a need for sympathy is perceived, there may be frustration that nothing can be done to help - perhaps from underestimating the power of 'a shoulder to cry on'

[Jesse]

I wouldn't say prayers do nothing. Due to a bunch of strange circumstances I've ended up out of a very volatile situation. My intended suicide ended up improving my circumstances, and am now living in a much better, though different place, and away from drugs.

I will likely be taking a break from this forum for a while. I thank all for their prayers, they didn't get lost in the mail.

[Ayu]

I wouldn't say prayers do nothing. Due to a bunch of strange circumstances I've ended up out of a very volatile situation. My intended suicide ended up improving my circumstances, and am now living in a much better, though different place, and away from drugs.

I will likely be taking a break from this forum for a while. I thank all for their prayers, they didn't get lost in the mail.

Thank you for telling this!

[Punya]

[Redfaery]

It fills my heart with joy to know that you are well, Jesse.

[Qing Tian]

Jesse,

[Johnny Dangerous]

I wouldn't say prayers do nothing. Due to a bunch of strange circumstances I've ended up out of a very volatile situation. My intended suicide ended up improving my circumstances, and am now living in a much better, though different place, and away from drugs.

I will likely be taking a break from this forum for a while. I thank all for their prayers, they didn't get lost in the mail.

Glad to hear it.

[Dan74]

I wouldn't say prayers do nothing. Due to a bunch of strange circumstances I've ended up out of a very volatile situation. My intended suicide ended up improving my circumstances, and am now living in a much better, though different place, and away from drugs.

I will likely be taking a break from this forum for a while. I thank all for their prayers, they didn't get lost in the mail.

Way to go, Jesse!

Keep up the good momentum!!

_/|\_

[Mkoll]

I wouldn't say prayers do nothing. Due to a bunch of strange circumstances I've ended up out of a very volatile situation. My intended suicide ended up improving my circumstances, and am now living in a much better, though different place, and away from drugs.

I will likely be taking a break from this forum for a while. I thank all for their prayers, they didn't get lost in the mail.

Glad to hear it! Be well.

[明安 Myoan]

[DGA]

I wouldn't say prayers do nothing. Due to a bunch of strange circumstances I've ended up out of a very volatile situation. My intended suicide ended up improving my circumstances, and am now living in a much better, though different place, and away from drugs.

I will likely be taking a break from this forum for a while. I thank all for their prayers, they didn't get lost in the mail.

Excellent!

[SeekerNo1000003]

I'm glad you're okay, Jesse. Take care of yourself.

[Lindama]

Way to go Jesse, I am so happy to hear this.
be well
linda