Meditations that reduce attachment

Discussion of meditation in the Mahayana and Vajrayana traditions.

Meditations that reduce attachment

Postby TaTa » Sat Oct 13, 2012 8:52 pm

Hey. Im dealing with a separation from my girlfriend. Its been a while since ive felt this sad feelings and is getting kind of hard not to reject them. I dont want it to be a problem for my dharma practice, since i have already reduce the amount of time practicing do to depression. It comes and goes but i want to be careful so it doesnt get deeper and i can understand better( I prefer the term understand than overcome )

I think that all of buddhist meditations reduce attachment but is there any technique that you think may help me in this situation?

Thank you all.
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Re: Meditations that reduce attachment

Postby Konchog1 » Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:04 pm

The relationship was doomed to end anyway. In her death or yours.

Accept the impermanence of all. Train your mind to be aware of the second by second decay of all things, material and non-material.

The relationship existed and was fun. Now's it gone. And that's that.
Equanimity is the ground. Love is the moisture. Compassion is the seed. Bodhicitta is the result.

-Paraphrase of Khensur Rinpoche Lobsang Tsephel citing the Guhyasamaja Tantra

"All memories and thoughts are the union of emptiness and knowing, the Mind.
Without attachment, self-liberating, like a snake in a knot.
Through the qualities of meditating in that way,
Mental obscurations are purified and the dharmakaya is attained."

-Ra Lotsawa, All-pervading Melodious Drumbeats
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Re: Meditations that reduce attachment

Postby dakini_boi » Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:25 pm

TaTa wrote:Hey. Im dealing with a separation from my girlfriend. Its been a while since ive felt this sad feelings and is getting kind of hard not to reject them. I dont want it to be a problem for my dharma practice, since i have already reduce the amount of time practicing do to depression. It comes and goes but i want to be careful so it doesnt get deeper and i can understand better( I prefer the term understand than overcome )

I think that all of buddhist meditations reduce attachment but is there any technique that you think may help me in this situation?

Thank you all.


I think tonglen could be very helpful. Also metta in general. Go easy on yourself. You may be experiencing grief, not just depression. May you find moments of peace every day, and each day may your peace get stronger and increase! :anjali:
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Re: Meditations that reduce attachment

Postby Terma » Sun Oct 14, 2012 12:02 am

I can kind of relate to your experience in a way as a similar kind of thing caused some obstacles for my practice a while ago as well. In my case, it did pass with time and though it took a little while for me to be convinced, indeed there are better days ahead!

In general, something very helpful is to try to be the cause of happiness for someone else in some way. As I noticed too, when we are spending time thinking about someone else, we don't have so much time to think about ourselves. This can also lighten up our mood as well when we see someone else smiling or appreciating something we did :smile:

In terms of practice, I found it hard to find the motivation to practice, and when I did I became frustrated by my emotions and the way I felt. I really think we should try to practice daily no matter what the outer circumstances, no matter whether we seem happy or sad. To me this also lends a little more towards the view of reminding ourselves time and time again that the nature of samsara is suffering, and by practicing no matter what the circumstances we face it helps us to keep both a reminder of why we are practicing dharma, as well as cultivating some diligence. Also, consider for a second that at least you have the merit to be able to know, study and practice dharma and therefore have a direct means for transcending the suffering nature of samsara. Rejoice in this!

As far as actual practice goes, not sure what kind of practice or meditation you do, but I think it may be good to contemplate impermanence (or even all of the four thoughts) and the fact that our attachments to these appearances that we mistake as being permanent in nature is a big cause of our confusion. You could also try to just rest and maintain awareness of these thoughts and feelings and just treat them with equanimity. Don't try to force these thoughts away. Thoughts and emotions come and go so you could even examine that aspect too.

This sounds a bit hard maybe, but as you can never go wrong with good ol' bodhicitta, maybe even recite some prayers or dedicate merit to your girlfriend, and all others who are suffering in a similar way too. Identifying the suffering of others with your own suffering is a great way to begin to cultivate bodhicitta mind.

And just go with the flow!

:namaste:
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Re: Meditations that reduce attachment

Postby muni » Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:52 am

:thanks:

A teachings about the Paramitas says: When in sadness and we really love ourselves, we must courageous open our heart and love all beings in our surrounding, widening and widening. All attention out.
Then all locked up pain which felt so sharp, easier loses power and by love for everyone without focus, joy is what is coming back to us. :smile:

Ta Ta, I think, you already show many courage to write here! :namaste:
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
(Mark Twain)
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