thank you for your answers. I read all the sources, and I feel very.... not even able to say how... maybe hurt and cheated, I am a Zen practicioner, and in 25 years of uninterrupted practice it seem that I was practicing discovering the lies of teachers.
In blog referd: Why Most Buddhists In The World Don't Meditate, in SF Zen Center, I could say the same, but in the 1990's, while I was part of Ch'an center in NYC. It was a very painful experience over years discovering that my teacher is actually "preaching" and lying about his own practice.
After I came to terms that my theacher Shi Fu Sheng Yen actually doesn't care about meditation, and on the other hand advertises himself that he spend 6 years in the cave, I came to another dissapointment in Daramshala India, living among Tibetan monks... nobody meditated to say the least.
Was Suzuki Roshi the same as my master? the same as Chogyam Trumpa..... and then I saw this article: http://www.tm.org/blog/meditation/buddhist-monks/
Sorry guys for the confusing post, I feel like crying more then anything else. I will create another cohesive post regarding what is going on in my path.