Newbie meditator, post meditation question

[rayyogi]

Hello, Greetings to you all.

I am not sure this is place to post this question. I have been meditating on breath last few months. Mainly mindfulness of breath for about 30 mins per day. I have noticed a sort of uncomfortable voidness feeling at the centre of the heart , after the meditation. Usually wears off after a while. Feeling is kind of like something is missing in the heart region. I get the feeling from reading that it may be parts of the "self " missing....but would like to ask for advice on what you people think and how to combat it.

Many thanks and Metta to you all!

[jundo cohen]

Hello, Greetings to you all.

I am not sure this is place to post this question. I have been meditating on breath last few months. Mainly mindfulness of breath for about 30 mins per day. I have noticed a sort of uncomfortable voidness feeling at the centre of the heart , after the meditation. Usually wears off after a while. Feeling is kind of like something is missing in the heart region. I get the feeling from reading that it may be parts of the "self " missing....but would like to ask for advice on what you people think and how to combat it.

Many thanks and Metta to you all!

Hello, and greetings to you.

I am going to offer just a couple of possibilities, others will have more to add from their perspectives.

Sometimes in the quietness of meditation we can become aware of parts of the body that are always present, but which we don't notice in our daily busyness. So, for example, if I say to you now "tip of your nose", good chance you will now focus attention on it, and it will start to itch. The tip of the nose is always there, with nerves producing sensations, but one just does not notice most of the time.

Maybe for some reason, you attention is now being brought to the heart. Also, if there is a feeling there, and you fixate, you can actually magnify the sensation. So, for example, if you keep focusing on the itchy nose, soon the feeling becomes very strong and bothersome.

One can also talk oneself into some feeling, a kind of small hypochondria. If you convince yourself "there is an uncomfortable voidness in the center of my heart" with "my self missing", sure as shooting one may feel it! One starts to convince oneself that a piece is missing.

My advice would be to drop all such concerns from mind, pay them "no never mind", and maybe they will fade away ... like the boogeyman under the bed who is only made real by our thoughts, vanishes when we just ignore him,

HOWEVER, it is also possible that in meditation, you are actually noticing some subtle chest pain that is always there, and which your distracted mind usually does not notice. Go to a doctor, get a check just to be safe. I had a student who discovered a mild case of angina during Zazen in some similar way.

Anyway, others may offer other possibilities.

Gassho, Jundo

[rayyogi]

Dear Jundo,

Many thanks for your prompt reply, that was helpful. Its good to know that at least I am not doing anything wrong during the meditation. I am going to perservere with practice then.

Metta and thanks!

[Johnny Dangerous]

It sounds like a somatic thing to me, unlike Jundo I don't think you should ignore it or dismiss it..it's calling to you by coming into the field of your awareness.

That kind of pain comes up for me a lot in meditation. I would seek out some teaching and really try to delve into what is happening there, it could be a door to deepening your practice.

One thing's for sure, such experiences are very "normal", but the deeper you get with it the better it is to have some kind of guidance IME.

If it is emotionally disturbing your meditation, and you do not have the ability to accommodate it or bring it to your meditative awareness, I would be find someone whose teachinhgs can help you learn how to do that, as dealing with emotional pain (which is often stored and presents "in the body") is a good thing to know about, and part of meditation. You could just be becoming better friends with your pain, too, I imagine.

Of course it's possible it's "just physical", but pain or ache in the heart center is a pretty common somatic response in meditative traditions, traditional medicines, and even in various modern therapies to the best of my knowledge. Like I said, good reason to pursue help from someone qualified to give answers on meditation.

Both Reggie Ray and Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche have teachings out there on this kind of thing, off the top of my head.....anyway experience of the body is an important thing in meditation, so while I think it's good advice not to obsess over it, it's my understanding that we also should not try to use meditation to dissociate from or ignore pain. Dissociation is not equanimity.

[rayyogi]

Thanks Johnny,

I found that doing metta practice seems to alleviate it for some reason. It may be as you say putting awareness onto it, together with the loving kindness.

[skittles]

When parts of the body are missing you can connect the parts that are there to form a contiguous whole. Then visualize the breath energy entering that area.

So if you're missing the heart region, visualize other parts of the body connecting, going across, and filling in the space. Then visualize the breath energy entering that area.

Some people do make an association between illness and empty spaces like that when meditating, in which case the above is the remedy. Personally, I visualize my dependently existing body being cut, ground, scattered, and burned into countless particles several times a day and I feel it improves my health. So visualizing something aggregious to the body in itself doesn't cause problems.

[SeeLion]

Feeling is kind of like something is missing in the heart region. I get the feeling from reading that it may be parts of the "self " missing....

Try not to complicate yourself too much.

I don't know what that feeling is, but you are complicating it through trying to intellectualize it.

That is simply your mind telling lies to you.

For example: "parts of the "self " missing"

What you are describing is certainly not a feeling, but a conceptualization. A feeling might be warm or cool, heavy or light, pressure or movement or tingling, etc.

It is perfectly normal to have various feelings come up during meditation and after meditation.

[seeker242]

Feeling is kind of like something is missing in the heart region. I get the feeling from reading that it may be parts of the "self " missing....

Try not to complicate yourself too much.

I don't know what that feeling is, but you are complicating it through trying to intellectualize it.

That is simply your mind telling lies to you.

For example: "parts of the "self " missing"

What you are describing is certainly not a feeling, but a conceptualization. A feeling might be warm or cool, heavy or light, pressure or movement or tingling, etc.

It is perfectly normal to have various feelings come up during meditation and after meditation.

[TaTa]

More enfasis on the relaxation and openness aspect of shamata. Resting from time to time in awareness without support can help. Maybe you are to tense? I dont know.
Metta can also help
And of curse, do your best to find a teacher =)