Dharma Wheel

shel wrote:
Sex is easy to let go of

I'm curious, how are you defining letting go of sex? Is that celibacy? Is it that you are unbothered by other people's sexual morality or behavior? Have you let go of all desires relating to sex? Is it one aspect, or all aspects? And when you say it's easy, does that mean you've actually done it, or that you could if you wanted?

uan wrote:

shel wrote:
Sex is easy to let go of

I'm curious, how are you defining letting go of sex?

Causal sex, the only way it could be defined in relation to the discussion.

Is that celibacy?

The Zen masters in question are obviously not celibate. In America, of the Zen tradition only the OBC practices celibacy. Incidentally, a few years ago the abbot there stepped down because of romantic reasons...

Is it that you are unbothered by other people's sexual morality or behavior?

I guess you deleted it from my quote before reading "Betrayal, broken promises or vows, infidelity, and stuff like that is not easy to let go of."

Have you let go of all desires relating to sex?

No.

Is it one aspect, or all aspects?

You mean different positions or orientations?

And when you say it's easy, does that mean you've actually done it, or that you could if you wanted?

I've had casual sex or sex for gratification and nothing else. This appears to be the nature of the sexual relations that the Zen masters in question engaged in. Of course it could be claimed that these encounters were some form of 'expedient means', but that would still be accurately described as casual sex.


Your turn, Uan.

shel wrote:
Your turn, Uan.

thanks for the clarification. I'll respond a little later, I'm at work but can do it afterwards.

Take your time, I know how taxing backpedaling can be.

shel wrote:Take your time, I know how taxing backpedaling can be.

No backpedaling. I had started several times to answer, but needed some clarification - on a Buddhist forum letting go of sex can mean lots of things - there's even an active thread here on DW on the health benefits of celibacy.

I actually thought that when you asked about betrayal, broken promises, etc. that you were referring to the larger arena of life where those things happen, and have nothing to do with sex.

shel wrote:

uan wrote:

shel wrote:
Sex is easy to let go of, actually. Betrayal, broken promises or vows, infidelity, and stuff like that is not easy to let go of. Should it be?

yes (at least as easy as sex)

And this is true for you?

Yes.

A poem by Chizuko Karen Joy Tasaka, published today on SweepingZen.com ( http://sweepingzen.com/to-joshu-sasaki- ... al-abuser/) ...

Roshi, you are a sexual abuser
“Come” you say as you pull me from a handshake onto your lap
“Open” you say as you push your hands between my knees, up my thighs
fondle my breasts
rub my genitals
french kiss me

you put my hand on your genitals
stroke your penis
jack you off?
this is sanzen?

my friend—she was inji
sex with roshi

she tried to say no
you demanded, demanded, demanded
demon demand the force of a tornado

sex with roshi
for whose best interest?

I told you I don’t like it.
I asked you why you do this?
You said, “nonattachment, nonattachment, you nonattachment"

I told you as shoji, “women very angry, very upset”
I asked you why you do this.
You said: “Be good daughter to roshi, and good wife to G. [her husband].
Roshi, that is incest So many women trying to shake the shame from their voices of
Sex with roshi

We came to you with the trust of a student
You were our teacher
You betrayed us
You violated our bodies
You rape our souls

You betrayed our previous student-teacher relationship
You abuse us as women
You emasculate our husbands and boyfriends

Roshi, you are a sexual abuser
Your nuns you make your sexual servants
Your monks and oshos are crippled with denial
Roshi, Sexual Abuser.

–By Chizuko Karen Joy Tasaka (1951-2010)


(My bold above)

Another sad example of Christianized thinking
When will people learn?

dzogchungpa wrote:Another sad example of Christianized thinking
When will people learn?

Learning "nonattachment, nonattachment" takes time, and apparently a lot of sex.

How about some Judaized thinking, to shake things up?
http://sweepingzen.com/misunderstanding ... n-fischer/

Actually Judaism is one of the few religions where celibacy is not celibrated, sex seems to be quite ok within the confines of marriage. Sex taboos are more of a Christian idea. In Buddhism and Hinduism it's held up as an ideal on the path to liberation. So 'Judaized thinking' doesn't quite hit the spot.

greentara wrote:So 'Judaized thinking' doesn't quite hit the spot.

I wasn't being entirely serious
If I recall correctly, theres a fair amount of nonmarital sex in the Torah.

Yes on reflection I think you're right.

shel wrote:A poem by Chizuko Karen Joy Tasaka, published today on SweepingZen.com ( http://sweepingzen.com/to-joshu-sasaki- ... al-abuser/) ...

Roshi, you are a sexual abuser
“Come” you say as you pull me from a handshake onto your lap
“Open” you say as you push your hands between my knees, up my thighs
fondle my breasts
rub my genitals
french kiss me

you put my hand on your genitals
stroke your penis
jack you off?
this is sanzen?

my friend—she was inji
sex with roshi

she tried to say no
you demanded, demanded, demanded
demon demand the force of a tornado

sex with roshi
for whose best interest?

I told you I don’t like it.
I asked you why you do this?
You said, “nonattachment, nonattachment, you nonattachment"

I told you as shoji, “women very angry, very upset”
I asked you why you do this.
You said: “Be good daughter to roshi, and good wife to G. [her husband].
Roshi, that is incest So many women trying to shake the shame from their voices of
Sex with roshi

We came to you with the trust of a student
You were our teacher
You betrayed us
You violated our bodies
You rape our souls

You betrayed our previous student-teacher relationship
You abuse us as women
You emasculate our husbands and boyfriends

Roshi, you are a sexual abuser
Your nuns you make your sexual servants
Your monks and oshos are crippled with denial
Roshi, Sexual Abuser.

–By Chizuko Karen Joy Tasaka (1951-2010)


(My bold above)

That's pretty damn compelling.

Not sure how this thread is going to get past it....

shel wrote:A poem by Chizuko Karen Joy Tasaka, published today on SweepingZen.com ( http://sweepingzen.com/to-joshu-sasaki- ... al-abuser/) ...

Roshi, you are a sexual abuser
“Come” you say as you pull me from a handshake onto your lap
“Open” you say as you push your hands between my knees, up my thighs
fondle my breasts
rub my genitals
french kiss me

you put my hand on your genitals
stroke your penis
jack you off?
this is sanzen?

my friend—she was inji
sex with roshi

she tried to say no
you demanded, demanded, demanded
demon demand the force of a tornado

sex with roshi
for whose best interest?

I told you I don’t like it.
I asked you why you do this?
You said, “nonattachment, nonattachment, you nonattachment"

I told you as shoji, “women very angry, very upset”
I asked you why you do this.
You said: “Be good daughter to roshi, and good wife to G. [her husband].
Roshi, that is incest So many women trying to shake the shame from their voices of
Sex with roshi

We came to you with the trust of a student
You were our teacher
You betrayed us
You violated our bodies
You rape our souls

You betrayed our previous student-teacher relationship
You abuse us as women
You emasculate our husbands and boyfriends

Roshi, you are a sexual abuser
Your nuns you make your sexual servants
Your monks and oshos are crippled with denial
Roshi, Sexual Abuser.

–By Chizuko Karen Joy Tasaka (1951-2010)


(My bold above)

Thanks for bringing it here.

I see no evidence of " Christianization " there , just a heartfelt plea for human decency and respect.

Simon E. wrote:I see no evidence of " Christianization " there , just a heartfelt plea for human decency and respect.

Indeed.

Irony alert, guys.

uan,

I'd thought casual sex was consensual sex. Is it still casual sex if one party is coerced or worse?

conebeckham wrote:Irony alert, guys.

Indeed.