In my limited experience with one Soto group, it seems to me that most Zen rituals and meditations have an extremely serious atmosphere and are places where small children would not be welcome. In contrast, it seems to me that Tibetan Buddhist sanghas have many more "easy-going" rituals (Tara pujas, Tsok rituals, etc.) which are more "family-friendly" and at which, it wouldn't be unreasonable for a well-behaved small child to be sitting next to his/her parent (although Tibetan Buddhists certainly also have more serious meditation sessions during which children probably should not be present). Is this view of mine correct? Or are there "family-friendly" western Zen groups in existence?
(I ask this question just out of curiosity. I don't have any kids, but maybe your answers here might be helpful to some other people.)
Zen events and small children?
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Re: Zen events and small children?
Luke wrote:In my limited experience with one Soto group, it seems to me that most Zen rituals and meditations have an extremely serious atmosphere and are places where small children would not be welcome. In contrast, it seems to me that Tibetan Buddhist sanghas have many more "easy-going" rituals (Tara pujas, Tsok rituals, etc.) which are more "family-friendly" and at which, it wouldn't be unreasonable for a well-behaved small child to be sitting next to his/her parent (although Tibetan Buddhists certainly also have more serious meditation sessions during which children probably should not be present). Is this view of mine correct? Or are there "family-friendly" western Zen groups in existence?
(I ask this question just out of curiosity. I don't have any kids, but maybe your answers here might be helpful to some other people.)
As rule, IMO Western Sangha in general seem exceptionally unfriendly to children. Seems like people like to talk a lot about building Dharma in the west, but can't stand the idea of a kid around them disturbing their pristine experiences I think part of it may be demographic too. I don't know about your experiences, but all the Sangha I've been to here (three different states, little Zen, mostly Vajrayana) the demographic swings heavily towards older people with no kids, or whose kids have long since left home.
As you say, sangha run by Tibetans seem to have the advantage of a different cultural outlook, which includes home life and family sometimes. I'm sure it annoys some people but as a parent it makes me really happy when I go to an (appropriate) teaching that has some kids around. Of course naturally there are times where they shouldn't be around.
When I did Zen I used to bring my kids to work parties and they would hang out. This sangha was pretty friendly to kids, smaller group, any activity where kids could come, they were allowed to.
But yes as so many practices are about quiet and austerity, it is hard to get kids involved in actual Dharma activities in a Zazen-focused framework. Tibetan Buddhism is much more friendly in that sense, IMO. I'm sure there are Zen places out there with kids programs though. I run the kids class at the (Tibetan Buddhist) center I go to, and I can tell you though - I am glad I have activities to fall back on that are not silent meditation-focused, trying to get most kids to do any kind of silent meditation is hilariously difficult, though you can sometimes get it through a "contest" format.
I think being family friendly is more about whether your group has programs that support Dharma learning for kids and families, rather than necessarily having "mixed" events.
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Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared
-Khunu Lama
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared
-Khunu Lama
Re: Zen events and small children?
Depends on what counts as a Zen event. As I have seen at a Chinese temple, children are no problem. However, since the people were almost exclusively Chinese and Vietnamese, it is a different style than Western convert communities, where the Buddhist activity consists almost exclusively of sitting silently after a minimal chanting.
1 Myriad dharmas are only mind.
Mind is unobtainable.
What is there to seek?
2 If the Buddha-Nature is seen,
there will be no seeing of a nature in any thing.
3 Neither cultivation nor seated meditation —
this is the pure Chan of Tathagata.
4 With sudden enlightenment to Tathagata Chan,
the six paramitas and myriad means
are complete within that essence.
1 Huangbo, T2012Ap381c1 2 Nirvana Sutra, T374p521b3; tr. Yamamoto 3 Mazu, X1321p3b23; tr. J. Jia 4 Yongjia, T2014p395c14; tr. from "The Sword of Wisdom"
Mind is unobtainable.
What is there to seek?
2 If the Buddha-Nature is seen,
there will be no seeing of a nature in any thing.
3 Neither cultivation nor seated meditation —
this is the pure Chan of Tathagata.
4 With sudden enlightenment to Tathagata Chan,
the six paramitas and myriad means
are complete within that essence.
1 Huangbo, T2012Ap381c1 2 Nirvana Sutra, T374p521b3; tr. Yamamoto 3 Mazu, X1321p3b23; tr. J. Jia 4 Yongjia, T2014p395c14; tr. from "The Sword of Wisdom"
Re: Zen events and small children?
Well in Japan parents bring children when there are ceremonies etc. This is not problem. But not for zazen practice itself. However there are some temples which organize even zazen for kids. But this is very different event than regular zazen practice of adults.Luke wrote:In my limited experience with one Soto group, it seems to me that most Zen rituals and meditations have an extremely serious atmosphere and are places where small children would not be welcome. In contrast, it seems to me that Tibetan Buddhist sanghas have many more "easy-going" rituals (Tara pujas, Tsok rituals, etc.) which are more "family-friendly" and at which, it wouldn't be unreasonable for a well-behaved small child to be sitting next to his/her parent (although Tibetan Buddhists certainly also have more serious meditation sessions during which children probably should not be present). Is this view of mine correct? Or are there "family-friendly" western Zen groups in existence?
(I ask this question just out of curiosity. I don't have any kids, but maybe your answers here might be helpful to some other people.)
Re: Zen events and small children?
Certainly! I have yet to see one that isn't. Although. it's not really appropriate, for any group, to have a small child running around the middle of the dharma room during a zazen session. But, that doesn't mean the center is unfriendly to children.Luke wrote: Or are there "family-friendly" western Zen groups in existence?
One should not kill any living being, nor cause it to be killed, nor should one incite any other to kill. Do never injure any being, whether strong or weak, in this entire universe!