Suggestions on Planning for Death

General discussion, particularly exploring the Dharma in the modern world.
cjdevries
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Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by cjdevries »

I have a serious illness and I am exploring information about death and dying. Mainly I am interested in receiving reliable guidance and support concerning rebirth and how to go about planning things like support chanting and ceremonies during the 49 day period that will help me to have a smoother transition. I recntly purchased The Pure Land Passport, a guide to death preparation and I resonate with most of the instructions because they are pretty congruent with the traditions I have studied and practiced. [I recite Mahayana sutras and chant Amitabha's name as well as practice in a Tibetan Buddhist sangha.] The guide references support chanting and asking volunteers to chant at your bedside before and as you are dying. The first thing that comes to mind is that i would like to be able to confident enough in my practice to go without support, because I've learned as I go along that any distraction (even a positive one) can be just that, a distraction. Ultimately, it's my own mind that I'm trying to transform, it's my own mind that I am working with. No amount of outside help can do the transforming for me... However, I could also see how support chanting could be beneficial to focus one's mind on Amitabha and to have support and a "community" that is there helping you to tune in and provide some added comfort or peace.

I am hunting for guidance or suggestions. Has anyone out there made preparations for their death, and how have you handled it with regard to Buddhism and /or your spiritual beliefs? I have a teacher that I see regularly in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition and I've talked to him about death preparation and he recommended a particular lama that is a phowa master to do phowa for me (someone that I've met and attended a teaching of). I am definitely considering that option and I think having a qualified lama do practice, especially phowa, is a good option for anyone to consider.

I am interested in learning more about support chanting and how to go about requesting that. I would imagine that it would be appropriate to ask members of my sangha if anyone would be willing volunteer to chant for me (whether from home) or in my room when I am dying. I'm not likely to die soon, but I will definitely will die eventually and I think planning ahead is a good idea.

I have also contacted a Chan/Pure Land temple that I have attended retreats at and they do a 49-day service. The abbot there is qualified and knowledgeable. But I think looking around for guidance is wise, especially for something important like transitioning. The Venerable that I spoke with at the Chan/Pure Land temple suggested checking in with a few temples and seeing what they offer and then making an informed from that so I think I may take that advice.

Does anyone in California have insight about temples that handle matters of rebirth and dying well? I have attended Hsi Lai temple in the past and I think I would be wise to contact them and ask about their "packages" concerning death and rebirth. But I am sincerely open to any suggestions and guidance others may have. Basically, I just want to insure that I get the best possible help in crossing over so I can continue on my Buddhist path with less obstacles and more blessings.

Thanks in advance for any ideas, suggestions, or wisdom.
"Please call me by my true names so I can wake up; so the door of my heart can be left open: the door of compassion." -Thich Nhat Hanh

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Fortyeightvows
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by Fortyeightvows »

Do you have a chanting box?
If you like one then pm me your address and I will send one to you.
I can also send you some heart sutra tracing paper with the proper pen if you'd like. I also have one very nice copy of the short amitabha sutra for tracing.

Also, You may wish to get in touch with the Amida Society in temple city.

I truly wish you the best success in your nobel goal.

阿彌陀佛
jet.urgyen
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by jet.urgyen »

This is my best advice: The Great Liberation through Hearing in the Bardo -known as The tibetan book of the dead-, a specific teaching from Padmasambhava. this is a guide on the entire issue, so we can recognize and understand what's going on all the time.

http://www.shambhala.com/the-tibetan-bo ... -1976.html

all explanations from the dead signs in this life until a good rebirth at a new existance are perfectly explained.

i cannot emphasize how important is it.
true dharma is inexpressible.

The bodhisattva nourishes from bodhicitta, through whatever method the Buddha has given him. Oh joy.
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Virgo
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by Virgo »

cjdevries wrote: Thanks in advance for any ideas, suggestions, or wisdom.
Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche will be giving a reatreat soon. I suggest you connect and do ati guru yoga at the time of death.

All the best,

:namaste: Kevin
Bristollad
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by Bristollad »

There is some advice and material available from the FPMT:

http://fpmt.org/death/
The antidote—to be free from the suffering of samsara—you need to be free from delusion and karma; you need to be free from ignorance, the root of samsara. So you need to meditate on emptiness. That is what you need. Lama Zopa Rinpoche
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明安 Myoan
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by 明安 Myoan »

Since the OP practices Pure Land, maybe advice pertaining to that school would be helpful rather than something drastically different.

Here is a letter from Master Honen to Nun Shonyo-bo who was gravely ill at the time and likely thinking in similar lines to the OP.
Believe deeply in the essential vow of Amida Buddha; do not doubt even for a moment that you will attain birth in the Pure Land; and believe that with ten repetitions of Namu Amida Butsu you will definitely achieve birth in the Pure Land through the essential vow, however much negative karma you may have. Please focus on reciting nembutsu.

Birth in the Pure Land will never depend upon our goodness or lack thereof. It is possible solely through the power of the essential vow. No matter how brilliant and admirable we may be, it is extremely difficult during this age of the decline of the Dharma to be born immediately into the Pure Land through one's own efforts. Because the power of the essential vow is the crucial factor, there is no reason that even one who is nonvirtuous, simple, and incompetent cannot attain birth in the Pure Land. The essential condition is whether we believe in the essential vow of Amida Buddha."
In case you can find no support chanting, here is another passage from Honen:
However, you have heard much about the teachings of nembutsu, and moreover, you have accumulated the merit of nembutsu. Your birth in the Pure Land is guaranteed, even if you do not have an encounter with a virtuous teacher at the end of your life.
...
Abandon thoughts of the virtuous teacher who is an ordinary person and rely instead on the virtuous teacher who is Amida Buddha. I ask this of you.
Namu Amida Butsu
Punya
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by Punya »

Various resources on death and dying in different traditions: http://www.buddhanet.net/r_booksd.htm.

One of my teachers recommended the Gyurme Dorje translation of the Bardo Thodal, but I think you and anyone assisting you need transmission to practice it.
We abide nowhere. We possess nothing.
~Chatral Rinpoche
Bristollad
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by Bristollad »

Monlam Tharchin wrote:Since the OP practices Pure Land, maybe advice pertaining to that school would be helpful rather than something drastically different.
cjdevries wrote: [I recite Mahayana sutras and chant Amitabha's name as well as practice in a Tibetan Buddhist sangha.]


Thanks in advance for any ideas, suggestions, or wisdom.
hence people have replied giving a variety of resources which may be of help to the OP.
The antidote—to be free from the suffering of samsara—you need to be free from delusion and karma; you need to be free from ignorance, the root of samsara. So you need to meditate on emptiness. That is what you need. Lama Zopa Rinpoche
crazy-man
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by crazy-man »

There is a historical account of a conversation between Dromtönpa - Lama Atisha’s heart disciple - and a practitioner. One day, Dromtönpa saw this practitioner circumambulating a stupa and he said to him, “It is good that you are circumambulating the stupa, but would it not be better for you to practise the Dharma?”

Upon hearing this, this practitioner thought that he should do something else. So, the next time Dromtönpa saw him, he was reciting a sutra. Dromtönpa said, “It is good that you are reciting this sutra, but would it not be better for you to practise the Dharma?’

This practitioner then thought that maybe Dromtönpa was referring to meditation. He decided to go to his room and began to meditate. When Dromtönpa saw this, he said to him, “It is good that you are meditating, but would it not be better for you to practise the Dharma?”

This practitioner was now thoroughly confused. He could not think of any other Dharma practices to do, so he went to Dromtönpa and asked him, “What should I do? What is Dharma practice?” Dromtönpa replied, “You have to give up this life.”
http://www.lamayeshe.com/article/chapter/1-what-dharma
jet.urgyen
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by jet.urgyen »

Punya wrote:Various resources on death and dying in different traditions: http://www.buddhanet.net/r_booksd.htm.

One of my teachers recommended the Gyurme Dorje translation of the Bardo Thodal, but I think you and anyone assisting you need transmission to practice it.
no transmission needed really, it is not a practice, but an indtroduction on the matter is advisable if we don´t have much time to meditate about it because the text is very dense and meaningful.

anyone can read and understand, why? because we can remember all this teaching in the bardo. if we do so, then each time we die we can remember. that's why it is so important to read and memorize it.
true dharma is inexpressible.

The bodhisattva nourishes from bodhicitta, through whatever method the Buddha has given him. Oh joy.
jet.urgyen
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by jet.urgyen »

i meant this is for preparing ourselves for the transition, if we are dead we cannot do shitro nor make elaborated practices. it's a matter of knowing the bardos while transmigrating so if we don't recognize our nature we can choose a good rebirth at last.

it's a good idea to find some friend who can do shitro practices for you so through this practice you are transfered to a pure land.
also it's a good idea to develop as many merits as you can, so there is a good chance to naturaly attain a good rebirth.
true dharma is inexpressible.

The bodhisattva nourishes from bodhicitta, through whatever method the Buddha has given him. Oh joy.
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Thomas Amundsen
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by Thomas Amundsen »

javier.espinoza.t wrote:
Punya wrote:Various resources on death and dying in different traditions: http://www.buddhanet.net/r_booksd.htm.

One of my teachers recommended the Gyurme Dorje translation of the Bardo Thodal, but I think you and anyone assisting you need transmission to practice it.
no transmission needed really, it is not a practice, but an indtroduction on the matter is advisable if we don´t have much time to meditate about it because the text is very dense and meaningful.

anyone can read and understand, why? because we can remember all this teaching in the bardo. if we do so, then each time we die we can remember. that's why it is so important to read and memorize it.
If I remember correctly, not only is the transmission required, but one should actually have the empowerment of the 100 peaceful and wrathful deities. The experiences in the bardo described in Bardo Thodrol only apply to those who have the wang, or so that is what I've heard before.
jet.urgyen
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by jet.urgyen »

tomamundsen wrote:
javier.espinoza.t wrote:
Punya wrote:Various resources on death and dying in different traditions: http://www.buddhanet.net/r_booksd.htm.

One of my teachers recommended the Gyurme Dorje translation of the Bardo Thodal, but I think you and anyone assisting you need transmission to practice it.
no transmission needed really, it is not a practice, but an indtroduction on the matter is advisable if we don´t have much time to meditate about it because the text is very dense and meaningful.

anyone can read and understand, why? because we can remember all this teaching in the bardo. if we do so, then each time we die we can remember. that's why it is so important to read and memorize it.
If I remember correctly, not only is the transmission required, but one should actually have the empowerment of the 100 peaceful and wrathful deities. The experiences in the bardo described in Bardo Thodrol only apply to those who have the wang, or so that is what I've heard before.
haha second time i'm told this. maybe it's true. but the stages of bardo are universal to all sentient beings, it's in our nature, in fact it's our nature.

i could be wrong of course.

by the way, what is transmited in this matter?
true dharma is inexpressible.

The bodhisattva nourishes from bodhicitta, through whatever method the Buddha has given him. Oh joy.
pemachophel
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by pemachophel »

According to my Teachers, in order to effectively read the guidance verses of the Bardo Thodrol for another beings, one should have received their lung/oral transmission. Also, the more realization one has, the more effective.
Pema Chophel པདྨ་ཆོས་འཕེལ
jet.urgyen
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by jet.urgyen »

pemachophel wrote:According to my Teachers, in order to effectively read the guidance verses of the Bardo Thodrol for another beings, one should have received their lung/oral transmission. Also, the more realization one has, the more effective.
i believe that i don't understand why an oral -lung- transmission is needed. the only obstacle in the bardo is unconsiousness.

oral transmissions are linked with cause production through pronounciation, and if we are dead we can have the same effect as alive?. or maybe is a form of explanation, or is it for a practice to do while we are alive? it's an oral transmission of the entire text?

i'm very interested and ofcourse i think if there is some practice is usefull, but i don't remember this mentioned in the root text, but it can be of help, so please tell me
true dharma is inexpressible.

The bodhisattva nourishes from bodhicitta, through whatever method the Buddha has given him. Oh joy.
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Matt J
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by Matt J »

Andrew Holecek has some teachings on this issue:

http://www.andrewholecek.com/category/d ... d-dying-2/
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muni
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by muni »

Hello,

I have actually nothing to add to the good responses here. Perhaps just this: dedicate, dedicate practices to all.
Best wishes for good medical support for your illness. _/\_

I think so, it is also good for all of us as well, to reflect about it time by time.

May you and all be blessed and guided by Enlightened Nature and be free, beyond life and death. _/\_
White Lotus
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by White Lotus »

Practice 'letting go'. When painful emotions arise just feel them. Dont try to change them, just feel them. I hope that will help you to let go. Take care now. Tom.
in any matters of importance. dont rely on me. i may not know what i am talking about. take what i say as mere speculation. i am not ordained. nor do i have a formal training. i do believe though that if i am wrong on any point. there are those on this site who i hope will quickly point out my mistakes.
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Könchok Thrinley
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by Könchok Thrinley »

I am sad to hear about your situation and can't really give much advice, but here is what I imagine could be useful.

I would try to read Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche, it is a good book filled with advice and it helped me when my father died.
Also try to develop boddhicita many teachers see it as the essence of dharma and it can only help you with your passing. Also taking refuge could be helpful as it can give you a sense of someone taking care of you and there is a great benefit from it.
If you are doing pure land practice then go for it with your whole heart, but if you are doing some tibetan buddhism practice too I would personally go for guru yoga and focuse all of my strength on that with pure land as secondary practice. Also dedicate and meditate on impermanence, it could relieve you a lot of pain cause by the fact that you have to let go of everything soon.

So to sum it up my advice is take refuge, develop boddhicita, do guruyoga (if you have the transmission) and pure land practice and at the end dedicate all of your merit.

Hope this helps.

Hope you wont suffer too much and find a good rebirth. Good luck.
“Observing samaya involves to remain inseparable from the union of wisdom and compassion at all times, to sustain mindfulness, and to put into practice the guru’s instructions”. Garchen Rinpoche

For those who do virtuous actions,
goodness is what comes to pass.
For those who do non-virtuous actions,
that becomes suffering indeed.

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muni
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Re: Suggestions on Planning for Death

Post by muni »

Good reminder. _/\_
I then read this:
I've learned as I go along that any distraction (even a positive one) can be just that, a distraction.

In May 2004, on the occasion of His Holiness the Dalai Lama's visit to Glasgow, Scotland, Sogyal Rinpoche gave an historic public talk on Living and Dying Today.
In this extract from that talk, Sogyal Rinpoche comments on the advice for the moment of death by Padmasambhava, which also can be found in Chapter 14 of The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.

phpBB [video]




May you and all be guided by unconditional love. _/\_
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