Alzheimers

General discussion, particularly exploring the Dharma in the modern world.
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Vasana
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Alzheimers

Post by Vasana »

Caring for my grandmother with early /middle-stage alzhiemers for just 2 days this week has been a bit of an eye opener for me.

It's kind of heartbreaking to see someone you have known your entire life, gradually loose their physical,mental and emotional sensibilities and to hear them regularly whimpering to themselves only to forget what the problem is when being asked, ad infinitum.

Such is samsara and the suffering of aging i suppose,but the suffering of others only really seems to truly hit home when we encounter it so directly. Even more so when it seems as if you're powerless to actually ease the suffering. the End of life stage for some is nothing more than a downward spiral into confusion,piss shit and tears. In a hospital & alone rather than with family and friends for most to add to it.

...
Those adult colouring in books have been indispensable in keeping her least active on some level. Anyone know any other activities that can keep her occupied? Easy or subtle ways to sow a seed or 2 of dharma? Lliberation through seeing seems to be one option.

Much respect to all of those of you who are in the profeshion of carework. It doesn't look easy
'When thoughts arise, recognise them clearly as your teacher'— Gampopa
'When alone, examine your mind, when among others, examine your speech'.— Atisha
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Könchok Thrinley
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Re: Alzheimers

Post by Könchok Thrinley »

Hi, I am deeply sorry to hear about hardships you are going through, but at the same time I'm amazed by your strenght. Not everybody finds the courage to do what you do.

As for the possibilities I think getting some thongdrol (liberation through seeing) could help, or through any kind of sensory function, like taste or smell. I unfortunately dont know their names, but am sure somebody here does know. Usually you can get these from a master who has empowered them, or sangha following his teachings.

Also maybe silent recitation of mantras while taking care of her could have some effect.

Wish you and your mother the best. :smile:
“Observing samaya involves to remain inseparable from the union of wisdom and compassion at all times, to sustain mindfulness, and to put into practice the guru’s instructions”. Garchen Rinpoche

For those who do virtuous actions,
goodness is what comes to pass.
For those who do non-virtuous actions,
that becomes suffering indeed.

- Arya Sanghata Sutra
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Johnny Dangerous
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Re: Alzheimers

Post by Johnny Dangerous »

Vasana wrote:Caring for my grandmother with early /middle-stage alzhiemers for just 2 days this week has been a bit of an eye opener for me.

It's kind of heartbreaking to see someone you have known your entire life, gradually loose their physical,mental and emotional sensibilities and to hear them regularly whimpering to themselves only to forget what the problem is when being asked, ad infinitum.

Such is samsara and the suffering of aging i suppose,but the suffering of others only really seems to truly hit home when we encounter it so directly. Even more so when it seems as if you're powerless to actually ease the suffering. the End of life stage for some is nothing more than a downward spiral into confusion,piss shit and tears. In a hospital & alone rather than with family and friends for most to add to it.

...
Those adult colouring in books have been indispensable in keeping her least active on some level. Anyone know any other activities that can keep her occupied? Easy or subtle ways to sow a seed or 2 of dharma? Lliberation through seeing seems to be one option.

Much respect to all of those of you who are in the profeshion of carework. It doesn't look easy
My Grandma died of Alzheimers 20 years ago or so, the process was long. I don't have much advice to give but I did want to simply offer my solidarity to you, and say that I will do some recitations for her. Supposedly any activity or games you can get them to engage in is good.
the End of life stage for some is nothing more than a downward spiral into confusion,piss shit and tears.
It ain't pretty for anyone I don't think, but Alzheimers is particularly painful because you basically start to lose them while they are still alive. Gonna put my thoughts of aspiration with you and her. My other piece of advice is not to harshly judge your own feelings about it, Alzheimers produces a lot of feelings about death and dying that in our culture would be a faux pas, but at least in my family, I found everyone had them.
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when afflicted by disease

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs

Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared

-Khunu Lama
DGA
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Re: Alzheimers

Post by DGA »

This is a hard one.

When my grandfather was struggling with dementia, I tried two things that I felt were helpful. The first was showing him pictures of things. Words didn't really work, but pictures really lit him up. One time I showed him an image of Guru Padmasambhava. He said: "Queen Elizabeth. Looking good. I'd like to meet that Queen." OK, that's dementia, but didn't he just make an aspiration to meet Guru Pema right there?

Second, and this was right at the end, I would sit with him as he would be dozing off. I started to sing a mantra. I could hear him humming along, which was really weird because he would never, ever sing in his normal life. I wasn't there when he died, but my cousins said he was singing a song and no one there could understand the words on his way out of this world. How about that? Again, maybe a good connection was made.

At least these kinds of things can give you something to hang some hope on, it can't hurt, and has the potential to be very helpful to all parties.

Johnny's right overall. This is tough, but it can be done.
Punya
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Re: Alzheimers

Post by Punya »

I really symphathise Vasana. My father has had Alzheimers for some years now and in January moved to a lovely nursing home as my mother is no longer able to care for him.

I came across this app https://vic.fightdementia.org.au/vic/ab ... y-home-app recently, which seems to have some useful ideas. I especially like the suggestion about pictures on the cupboards at home.

Familiar music can be very helpful although my father doesn't respond to this. I also heard a radio program recently where dementure patients have responded well to art exhibitions. The galleries said moving pictures eg movies, sport and documentaries can be hard to take in but a static picture is more manageable. They started with traditional art but then found modern art was popular. One man, who hadn't spoken for weeks, when asked what he thought said "Oh, they're wonderful!".

Your comments about pictures have inspired me DGA. I'm going to put together a small photo album for my Dad. :smile:
Last edited by Punya on Sat Apr 09, 2016 1:14 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Losal Samten
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Re: Alzheimers

Post by Losal Samten »

Lacking mindfulness, we commit every wrong. - Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche
འ༔ ཨ༔ ཧ༔ ཤ༔ ས༔ མ༔
ཨོཾ་ཧ་ནུ་པྷ་ཤ་བྷ་ར་ཧེ་ཡེ་སྭཱ་ཧཱ།།
ཨཱོཾ་མ་ཏྲི་མུ་ཡེ་སལེ་འདུ།།
Vasana
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Re: Alzheimers

Post by Vasana »

Thank you for the kind support and suggestions guys. :anjali:
'When thoughts arise, recognise them clearly as your teacher'— Gampopa
'When alone, examine your mind, when among others, examine your speech'.— Atisha
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