How do you deal with 'feelings'?

Help required with personal difficulties.
Locked
User avatar
Sonrisa
Posts: 77
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:55 am

How do you deal with 'feelings'?

Post by Sonrisa »

Recently, I have been pondering this question because one of my friends told me it: Where does anger come from? He advised me to meditate on that but I still cannot find an answer (do you know where it comes from?). I know (but probably dont realize) that feelings are impermanent; you can be happy one minute, then sad the in three seconds, angry in the next 10 minutes, and nostalgic the next day. It's a tiring cycle! At this point, I probably dont even care where it originates, I just want to find a way to calm myself. Earlier today, I was thinking about all the insults I have gone through, which caused me to have anxiety and CONSTANTLY questioned oh no! What should I do if so-and-so says this to me? I should have an answer prepared! At this point, I find that different feelings make me feel a certain way such as warm, hot, passionate, empty, and all kinds of crazy stuff. You know what's scary? Some of us just LOVE to recall past events and just RELISH in them; if one can relish a happy memory, they can also do the same with an angry one. However, with the angry one, people find some sort of pleasure in it, in that they 'argue' with themselves mentally...WHY?! If someone admonishes us, what is it in us that's being attacked and makes us want to reply with an insult? ego?

I also heard several times to not get attached to let's say anger, but wouldnt that be avoiding to deal with it?

I have the tools I need to calm myself but I just know that I must have patience and compassion for myself. I found out that fighting these feelings wont do me any good. Sometimes, I lose hope :cry:

Samsara is no fun.

What do you recommend?
Namo Amitabha
Namo Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva
Namo Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva

May I continue to practice loving-kindness and compassion for sentient beings. May my friends and loved ones be free from suffering. May those who have hurt me also be free from suffering.

Hatred is like throwing cow dung at someone else. You get dirty first before throwing it to someone else.
User avatar
daverupa
Posts: 447
Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2013 12:52 am

Re: How do you deal with 'feelings'?

Post by daverupa »

Ghatva Sutta wrote:As she was standing to one side, a devata recited this verse to the Blessed One:

Having killed what
do you sleep in ease?
Having killed what
do you not grieve?
Of the slaying
of what one thing
does Gotama approve?

[The Buddha:]
Having killed anger
you sleep in ease.
Having killed anger
you do not grieve.
The noble ones praise
the slaying of anger
— with its honeyed crest
& poison root —
for having killed it
you do not grieve.
---

I will mention, in this connection, that anger is a secondary, or cover-up, emotion - it always proceeds from other emotional or physiological prompts. Discovering these causes is the task of sammasati, with sammavayama engaging & sammasamadhi 'hard-wiring' any improvements.

So look for fear, sadness, etc...

:heart:
  • "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.

- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]
User avatar
Sonrisa
Posts: 77
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2010 5:55 am

Re: How do you deal with 'feelings'?

Post by Sonrisa »

Thank you so much :anjali:
Namo Amitabha
Namo Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva
Namo Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva

May I continue to practice loving-kindness and compassion for sentient beings. May my friends and loved ones be free from suffering. May those who have hurt me also be free from suffering.

Hatred is like throwing cow dung at someone else. You get dirty first before throwing it to someone else.
Locked

Return to “Help Required”