Search found 652 matches

by KathyLauren
Thu Mar 14, 2024 11:25 pm
Forum: Suggestion Box
Topic: Poll idea - male / female / other
Replies: 19
Views: 418

Re: Poll idea - male / female / other

I would have no problem with this poll, provided that it is indeed anonymous. Anyone who does not trust its anonymity or simply doesn't want to respond always has the option of not responding. It would be foolish to think that the results would be scientific. Self-selection of respondents automatica...
by KathyLauren
Fri Feb 23, 2024 2:10 pm
Forum: Ethical Conduct
Topic: Does the doctrine of karma blame victims for their own suffering?
Replies: 16
Views: 2017

Re: Does the doctrine of karma blame victims for their own suffering?

2. Perpetrators of cruelty cannot hide behind karma to excuse their actions. Those who deliberately cause others to suffer cannot justify their deeds by claiming that they are simply carrying out the dictates of karma; they will endure the future consequences of their own actions. Actions are not t...
by KathyLauren
Fri Feb 02, 2024 2:35 pm
Forum: Ethical Conduct
Topic: Which of the following activities do you consider sexual misconduct? (continued)
Replies: 33
Views: 2567

Re: Which of the following activities do you consider sexual misconduct? (continued)

The only universal I have espoused (sorry! :tongue: ) is that we should try to avoid harming others. As you suggest, that will normally mean looking at our behaviour in the context of our own time and place. I agree that this is the only universal morality. The idea of looking for moral rules that ...
by KathyLauren
Sat Jan 20, 2024 1:58 pm
Forum: Ethical Conduct
Topic: Which of the following activities do you consider sexual misconduct? (continued)
Replies: 33
Views: 2567

Re: Which of the following activities do you consider sexual misconduct? (continued)

Or, use a criteria based directly on standard Mahayana criteria: “Does this activity (or will this activity potentially) cause beings to suffer?” Then if you want to go beyond that: “Does this activity increase self-attachment which will lead to samsaric rebirth?” :good: Yes, this, exactly. Om mani...
by KathyLauren
Sat Jan 20, 2024 12:36 am
Forum: Ethical Conduct
Topic: Which of the following activities do you consider sexual misconduct? (continued)
Replies: 33
Views: 2567

Re: Which of the following activities do you consider sexual misconduct? (continued)

But then, what constitutes sexual misconduct? Generally the answer is simply to look to local community standards. Or, use a criteria based directly on standard Mahayana criteria: “Does this activity (or will this activity potentially) cause beings to suffer?” Then if you want to go beyond that: “D...
by KathyLauren
Thu Jan 11, 2024 2:13 am
Forum: Dharma in Everyday Life
Topic: Fear of no/not self, what is the way out to this?
Replies: 23
Views: 1663

Re: Fear of no/not self, what is the way out to this?

I think a common misconception is that "not-self" is a condition that is different from what you are used to experiencing. In other words, you think of it as a change from whatever was before (a self, presumably) to a not-self, something new. This is an error, and it is scary for some peop...
by KathyLauren
Fri Sep 22, 2023 3:19 pm
Forum: Discovering Mahayana Buddhism
Topic: I’m lost please help
Replies: 12
Views: 1023

Re: I’m lost please help

Hi, WhiteCrow, and welcome! Don't worry about choosing a particular sect. Although the Buddha is said to have taught 84,000 versions of the Dharma, it is all the same Dharma. So it really doesn't matter which one you choose; they all lead to the same conclusion. I have been a Buddhist for about 45 y...
by KathyLauren
Tue Sep 19, 2023 9:04 pm
Forum: Tibetan Buddhism
Topic: Have I taken refuge?
Replies: 11
Views: 1137

Re: Have I taken refuge?

While it is beneficial to take refuge from a teacher in a specific ceremony, it is not required. The refuge you take as part of an initiation is refuge. The refuge you take by yourself as part of a daily practice is refuge. When I first started to consider myself a Buddhist, there were no teachers a...
by KathyLauren
Fri Jul 28, 2023 1:36 pm
Forum: Lounge
Topic: Barbie
Replies: 59
Views: 4448

Re: Barbie

I had a trans friend tell me in advance that they’d felt really hurt by it. They read it as, the first thing Barbie does when she becomes a real woman, and the only thing we see do as such, is visit the gynecologist. It seemed like a TERFy little insertion. [Disclaimer: I haven't seen the movie yet...
by KathyLauren
Tue Jun 13, 2023 12:55 pm
Forum: Lounge
Topic: Pets
Replies: 2
Views: 490

Re: Pets

Oh, what a sweetie!

Om mani padme hum
Kathy
by KathyLauren
Thu May 04, 2023 8:33 pm
Forum: Dharma in Everyday Life
Topic: Euthanizing pets...
Replies: 29
Views: 3699

Re: Euthanizing pets...

So much of karma is intention. The intention in euthanasia is to prevent unnecessary suffering. Preventing suffering is a good thing, and therefore good karma. We had a greyhound that was getting up in age. She had arthritis, and was getting unsteady on her feet and losing weight. We knew the end wa...
by KathyLauren
Sat Apr 22, 2023 2:31 pm
Forum: Tibetan Buddhism
Topic: Writing a last will
Replies: 14
Views: 1083

Re: Writing a last will

But there are lots of ways of thinking about disposal of the body. One is that funerals, and what comes after, are for the living, not the dead. So telling one's family they can do whatever they think suitable may be the best choice. My father didn't want a funeral. We told him that that was our bu...
by KathyLauren
Fri Mar 24, 2023 9:06 pm
Forum: Mahāyāna Buddhism
Topic: So what exactly does it mean to take refuge?
Replies: 14
Views: 1450

Re: So what exactly does it mean to take refuge?

I think you will get a lot of different answers to your question! Not from me. :smile: The way it was explained to me was: First of all ask yourself "refuge" from what? It is refuge from suffering. When you take refuge, you are acknowledging that the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha are the only...
by KathyLauren
Sun Feb 19, 2023 5:20 pm
Forum: Tibetan Buddhism
Topic: Confusion on my path... advice?
Replies: 9
Views: 860

Re: Confusion on my path... advice?

I would focus on what is benefiting you, rather than on what you "enjoy". But I can see that a particular practice may do both. It sounds like a good compromise would be to attend the Tibetan/Gelug classes, but to continue to do Zen practice. If the classes help your practice, that is what...
by KathyLauren
Fri Feb 17, 2023 6:55 pm
Forum: Tibetan Buddhism
Topic: I feel hurt by my teacher's advice, not sure whether I am overreacting
Replies: 44
Views: 3768

Re: I feel hurt by my teacher's advice, not sure whether I am overreacting

The teachers position is quite traditional: that faith comes first and understanding follows. But the Western mind doesn't work that way. For Westerners, faith comes after we have something that we recognize to be true. This is not to say that the teacher is wrong, but his approach and yours are not...
by KathyLauren
Tue Feb 14, 2023 9:57 pm
Forum: Ethical Conduct
Topic: Which of the following activities do you consider sexual misconduct?
Replies: 21
Views: 5953

Re: Which of the following activities do you consider sexual misconduct?

To me the issue is deceptive behavior, not sex. Agree. The other issue is vow-breaking. If you make a vow of exclusivity (whether it was a smart thing to do or not), then breaking that vow without first being released from it is misconduct. My understanding is that both parties are guilty of miscon...
by KathyLauren
Tue Jan 31, 2023 1:48 pm
Forum: Discovering Mahayana Buddhism
Topic: Etiquette when meeting with Tibetan monks
Replies: 6
Views: 1148

Re: Etiquette when meeting with Tibetan monks

Passing a monk on the street, you can't go wrong with a small bow and hands in 'namaste' position, as a sign of respect. Especially in India, that works for any person anywhere.

Om mani padme hum
Kathy
by KathyLauren
Mon Jan 30, 2023 12:36 am
Forum: Dharma in Everyday Life
Topic: Don't know how to come to terms with chronic illness that is a result of one decision I made that I regret every day
Replies: 17
Views: 1257

Re: Don't know how to come to terms with chronic illness that is a result of one decision I made that I regret every day

There is nothing wrong with wanting good health. But a well-known Buddhist scholar, Shantideva, wrote: Why worry about something if you can do something about it? And what is the point of worrying about something if you cannot do anything about it? It seems to me that this comes under the heading of...
by KathyLauren
Sun Jan 29, 2023 2:11 pm
Forum: Tibetan Buddhism
Topic: New potential buddist monk questions while living outside the temple
Replies: 27
Views: 1469

Re: New potential buddist monk questions while living outside the temple

I am really interested to know, from a trans perspective, with so much effort put into making adjustments (chemical, surgical) to the physical body, how does one coordinate that with the Buddhist concept of not really identifying with or being attached to the physical body at all? What I mean is, B...
by KathyLauren
Sat Jan 28, 2023 10:11 pm
Forum: Tibetan Buddhism
Topic: New potential buddist monk questions while living outside the temple
Replies: 27
Views: 1469

Re: New potential buddist monk questions while living outside the temple

The Buddha had nothing to say about transgender people. The closest he got to saying anything was in this passage from the Vinaya: Now at that time the sexual features of a woman appeared on a certain monk. They told the Blessed One about this matter. [He said,] “Monks, I allow the same teacher, the...

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