I decided to sign up because maybe it is the time I should seek some clarity about my life experiences. A bit of my background. I am in my lat 30s and lived in USA. When I was 18, I experienced the Chi energy or Kundalini energy rising after I woke up from a dream. I dream that I was a scholar warrior back in the Han dynasty. It seems like in the dream I was circulating the micro-cosmic orbit by jumping up from the bottom of a cliff. Did a twist in the mid air and landing on the ground...while my point of vision or focus was on my navel area. I saw 2 men in front of me. Then, I woke up and the Chi energy was engulfing me all over for 4s. I was HOT and on fire. Blue and whitish lighting intensified on my forehead. When I opened my eyes, I could still see the light. Later, I was told, I was seeing the color of the Chi energy. After this experience, I got interested in meditation, something simple and without any clear ideas what I was doing. However, I could reproduce the micro-comsic orbit within 5 to 10 minutes of meditation, for several weeks. And the Chi energy was always hot but with a very short duration. Before this experience, I went through a process of deep self reflection and analysis, while I was in college and majoring the wrong field. Back then, I have no ideas what was happening to me. I could consistently reproduce the experience until I transferred to another college. Obviously, my chakras were all open and obviously, as you guess it, I began to have dreams about my past life (I think).
I left this college because my spiritual experiences as well as the emergence of my past life seemed to be in conflict with the college's academic agenda (another major life challenge I was facing). I left this college and transferred to another and finally got my degree, which I cared little about. At this point, I tried to put everything behind me and getting a job and to pay my bills. 3 years ago, I got laid off by the company I worked there for a long time. It has been in these 3 years I begin to study in meditation and to further examine what I was experiencing. And trying to understand the implication of my past life and my past life karma. Something I have been dealing with over 10 years.
Only recently I have been reading up the works by William Bodri. I finally have some ideas about my own dharma. Up to the age of 18, I was practicing the Mahayana school of meditation, without knowing it. Although I didn't actively practicing meditation in the traditional sense, I was meditating either in my dreams or in my sleeps. After years of intense mental examination about my life (before I turned 18), I was awakened and initiated into my first samadhi. When the vision of my past life emerged, I was going into another stage of samadhi, which I think I am only now slowly coming to grasp the nature of it, after more than 10 years.
Knowing what I know now about my life, I am finding it hard to set myself a new life's path. I am at lost at the moment because I feel that I know where I want to go but not sure how to get there. Sorry for writing up a very dense post.
Wave good bye to them,
face the other way,
and start moving forward.
Just a suggestion.
The Chinese characters are Fo (buddha) and Ming (bright). The image is of a student of Buddhism, who, imagining himself to be a monk, and not understanding the true meaning of the words takes the sound of the words literally. Likewise, People on web forums sometime seem to be foaming at the mouth. Original painting by P.Volker /used by permission.
"What is the All? Simply the eye & forms, ear & sounds, nose & aromas, tongue & flavors, body & tactile sensations, intellect & ideas. This, monks, is called the All. Anyone who would say, 'Repudiating this All, I will describe another,' if questioned on what exactly might be the grounds for his statement, would be unable to explain, and furthermore, would be put to grief. Why? Because it lies beyond range." Sabba Sutta.
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