I can't think of a good title! ^^;

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jzpowell93
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Location: Durham, NC; Atlanta, GA
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I can't think of a good title! ^^;

Postby jzpowell93 » Sun Oct 06, 2013 10:24 pm

Hello everyone!

My name is Jaya and I just turned 20 about two weeks ago. I started my practice on October 4, but I don't plan to "officially" take refuge until sometime next summer. I want to make sure this is a lifelong commitment before I do so.

I feel like I was fated to come to Buddhism, haha. In the past year I've had some memorable existential crises, one time where I stayed up til 5 am crying about death and impermanence and the cruelty of existence. I've also had some extreme attachments in past romantic relationships; the most recent one was better but still I needed some help.

I walked away from Christianity to Atheism at 15 but the past few years I'd been feeling unfulfilled, like something was missing, or like I still needed answers or meaning or something, and a lack of religion/spirituality wasn't helping. Recently I began picking up hours at my university's divinity bookstore, and that was all while the incentive I needed to remember that I wanted to study Buddhism.

For now my basic practice is meditation for half an hour while chanting the compassion mantra. Today I added prostration while reciting the names of the 35 Buddhas, which raised the time up to an hour. I'm hoping to keep it like this for a while, so I can be diligent about it.

I'm using the school's Hindu/Buddhist shared meditation room, and noticed that the first day that I couldn't concentrate because I was so worried about people walking in and finding me. Thankfully that wasn't such an issue today! (Although I was much more concerned about my empty stomach XP)

There were also a few moments where I felt like I might want to cry... not sure about that. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe it's just me. It usually is :rolling:

I tend to lurk, so I may not post much, but I wanted to say hi and let you all know I'm here :D *waves*!

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ClearblueSky
Posts: 463
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Re: I can't think of a good title! ^^;

Postby ClearblueSky » Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:20 am

Welcome. Sometimes it takes a little turmoil to get us moving towards happiness. Sounds like you're doing a good job, may your path continue to bring you happiness!

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dzogchungpa
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Joined: Sat May 28, 2011 10:50 pm

Re: I can't think of a good title! ^^;

Postby dzogchungpa » Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:57 am

I think that is an excellent title. :smile:
The true condition is beyond numbers. If we think in terms of an "individual being" this means that we are limiting, and consequently everything becomes complicated. If we want to understand, then we must not limit. - Chögyal Namkhai Norbu

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smcj
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Re: I can't think of a good title! ^^;

Postby smcj » Tue Oct 08, 2013 3:29 am

Welcome Jaya. Lurk all you want.
My posts are for entertainment purposes only. Please don't take anything I say seriously unless you confirm it with a traditional teacher first.

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David N. Snyder
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Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
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Re: I can't think of a good title! ^^;

Postby David N. Snyder » Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:09 am

Welcome to Dharma Wheel!

:hi:


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