re introduction

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re introduction

Post by AlexMax » Tue Feb 09, 2016 12:25 am

Hi i thought re introduce myself
My name is Ella am 39 from Scotland ,i am married to my husband Andrew and we have two cats
For the last few years av had mental health problems like voices seeing things and OCD and depression i also have PTSD because of trauma in my past
Av felt lost and confused over witch religion i should be gone from Buddhism -Christianity-Islam- Christianity-Hinduism- back to Buddhism during this time i lost my step dad to suicide my mum got cancer and lived through it but she has became bitter and i hardly see her in happier news i have became a great aunt .
i have had therapy i did see a therapist but because of NHS funding i am only allowed 6 blocks of treatment
i tried to follow meditation and understand Buddhism but am not very well educated i find things hard to understand i feel like am too stupid ( i also have poor self esteem too)to join in on discussions in these types of forums i hope its ok for me to re join

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Re: re introduction

Post by 石正 Marcus » Tue Feb 09, 2016 1:48 am

Hi Ella,
I'm new on these forums too but, looking around, everyone seems very nice here.
It sounds like you have been through a lot. Many kinds of problems and lots of sad events. I'm really sorry to hear that.
I think it's good to look around at different religions to find the one that suits you best, and it's great you're looking into Buddhism again!
But don't feel you are not clever enough!
It's true, there are a lot of discussions here that makes it look like you need lots of knowledge and new difficult words and concepts, but you don't need it at all.
The key thing in Buddhism is to just sit down for a little bit and check out how you feel, but don't act on those feelings. Really, that's it. Alongside that you are encouraged to avoid bad behaviours and follow good ones (called precepts).
And if you are the religious type, then you might find it good to know that the Buddha can be thought of as the power inside you that can help you on your way.
Anyway, you know this already and I'm writing too much!

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Re: re introduction

Post by DNS » Tue Feb 09, 2016 4:03 am

Welcome back!

Hope the mental health issues are improving.


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Re: re introduction

Post by Jim1 » Tue Feb 09, 2016 11:16 pm

Hello Ella,

Yeah the folks here are really nice, unlike other places on the internet they won't judge you. So(as Marcus says) don't worry about how clever you think you are.. you seem smart enough to me.

Good to have you on here with us. Welcome back!
"He who walks in the eightfold noble path with unswerving determination is sure to reach Nirvana." Buddha

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Re: re introduction

Post by AlexMax » Thu Mar 03, 2016 8:01 pm

my name was Ella i know call myself MAXUK the reason i have changed my name as i am Transgender / Gender queer :namaste:

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Re: re introduction

Post by Punya » Thu Mar 03, 2016 10:40 pm

Welcome back MAXUK. :hi:

Since you are interested in meditation you might find these instructions on some simple meditations useful:

Also, this thread has some suggestions on introductory books:

I wish you well on your buddhist journey and hope your mental health problems have/will ease. The Discovering Mahayana Buddhism forum on this board is a good place to ask questions and please don't feel any question is too stupid to ask. We are all learning here.
We abide nowhere. We possess nothing.
~Chatral Rinpoche

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Re: re introduction

Post by cheridavis » Tue Mar 08, 2016 1:46 pm

Welcome Maxuk - put down your baggage and put up your feet. Glad to have you amongst us.

Peace and clarity-


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Re: re introduction

Post by kirtu » Tue Mar 08, 2016 2:38 pm

Welcome aboard! :namaste:

Kirt's Tibetan Translation Notes

"Even if you practice only for an hour a day with faith and inspiration, good qualities will steadily increase. Regular practice makes it easy to transform your mind. From seeing only relative truth, you will eventually reach a profound certainty in the meaning of absolute truth."
Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche.

"Only you can make your mind beautiful."
HH Chetsang Rinpoche

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Re: re introduction

Post by AlexMax » Sat Jul 09, 2016 5:34 pm

:namaste: Sorry av not been around :coffee:
i have changed my gender to demigirl ( meaning am more female than male )
I changed my name to AvaLily am sorry if i keep going back and forward to the forums
i keep going back and forward with this family will not be happy that i have chosen Buddhism .
But oh well

I hope you are all well :hi:

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sorry av not been around

Post by AlexMax » Sat Jul 09, 2016 6:05 pm

Since the last time i was here my mental health has been stable until earlier in the week i started to see my step dad ( my step dad died 5 years ago in September he killed himself ) i wanted to save him husband found out and he took me to the crisis team and they gave me a link to a mindfulness app for my phone i have been back and forward to this forum and to Buddhism you may think am nuts well i am
I want to know more things but i keep thinking am not smart enough to be Buddhist or that am not focused enough I need help understanding it
I cant afford to pay anyone to teach me as i hardly get much money most of the Buddhism ask for money and my husband has to come with me everywhere i go because of my mental health even though i was stable my husband says he dont want to take the risk
as in the past av tried to kill myself
I am a danger to myself and others at the moment and my husband who is my full time carer
He will not join in on Buddhist things and is an atheist he has to sit about a lot if am going to groups for my mental health
Some of them he will join in as my husband has depression but if it faith based he stays away from it
i got therpy but its was only for 6 sessions and it didnt help much .
I See my dr in a few weeks and my psych in September
i hope to stick around if thats ok
Sorry about coming back and forth

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Re: sorry av not been around

Post by AlexMcLeod » Sat Jul 09, 2016 6:35 pm

Maybe try qigong.

If you can prove dedication, I think he will work with you, regarding the training fee. Also, our qigong has a very good track record with depression.

I'm assuming from your other thread you are in Scotland.
Relax! Smile From The Heart!
There is a difference between the Mundane and the Transcendental. If you purposefully confuse them, I will ignore you, you nihilist.
There is no Emotion, there is Peace. There is no Ignorance, there is Knowledge. There is no Passion, there is Serenity. There is no Death, there is the Force.

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Re: sorry av not been around

Post by AlexMax » Sat Jul 09, 2016 6:40 pm

Thank you for replying and the link
yes am in Scotland

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Re: re introduction

Post by Ayu » Sun Jul 10, 2016 6:51 pm

Welcome back.
I hope your stability will improve.
For the benefit and ease of all sentient beings. :heart:

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Re: re introduction

Post by newbie » Tue Jul 12, 2016 6:59 am

Welcome back to DW!


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