Cold feet...

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Justmeagain
Posts: 89
Joined: Thu Feb 25, 2016 10:12 pm

Cold feet...

Post by Justmeagain » Fri Nov 18, 2016 7:59 am

Hi, I'm getting cold feet re taking Jukai. Its not unlike me and I was hoping the commitment would be just that, a commitment. But I'm starting to feel a little suffocated by my own decision now. I've not mentioned it to my teacher as there is a sense of weakness and shame attached to it.

What would you advise...?

Thanks,

JMA...

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Wayfarer
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Location: Sydney AU

Re: Cold feet...

Post by Wayfarer » Fri Nov 18, 2016 9:47 am

Remember the Nike ad!
In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few ~ Suzuki-roshi

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seeker242
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Re: Cold feet...

Post by seeker242 » Fri Nov 18, 2016 12:30 pm

Justmeagain wrote: What would you advise...?
Talk to your teacher about it. The purpose of a teacher is to help with things. If you can't ask your teacher for help, then there's no point in having one to begin with.
One should not kill any living being, nor cause it to be killed, nor should one incite any other to kill. Do never injure any being, whether strong or weak, in this entire universe!

Justmeagain
Posts: 89
Joined: Thu Feb 25, 2016 10:12 pm

Re: Cold feet...

Post by Justmeagain » Fri Nov 18, 2016 12:47 pm

Wayfarer wrote:Remember the Nike ad!
Yeah....if only it was that easy!

DGA
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Re: Cold feet...

Post by DGA » Fri Nov 18, 2016 2:50 pm

Justmeagain wrote:Hi, I'm getting cold feet re taking Jukai. Its not unlike me and I was hoping the commitment would be just that, a commitment. But I'm starting to feel a little suffocated by my own decision now. I've not mentioned it to my teacher as there is a sense of weakness and shame attached to it.

What would you advise...?

Thanks,

JMA...
You're certainly not alone in having these feelings. First, the sense of suffocation around this sort of commitment... a peer of mine had a series of nightmares about being suffocated by the kesa one receives when taking refuge in Tendai-shu for a spell before she finally did take refuge, and the nightmares stopped. That is just one example. Second, the feeling of inadequacy this summons, which breaks up communication with one's teacher. Think of it this way: Ego plays all kinds of games around these situations because it is threatened by your Dharma practice. So it contrives ways to throw static into the connection you have with your community and your teacher.

You have some choices.

1. Go through with Jukai and assess how you feel after.

2. Talk to your teacher about your feelings before Jukai.

3. Bail on Jukai and take up a different hobby.

I recommend door #1 because I'm a "get the band-aid off the fast way" sort of person. Door #2 may be more suited to your constitution, though. Door #3 is a terrible idea and you know it, so try 1 or 2 ok?

I rejoice in the merit of your Dharma aspirations. Jukai is an excellent and noble thing. がんばって!!!

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vermin06
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Re: Cold feet...

Post by vermin06 » Sun Jan 01, 2017 6:16 am

What they said! This turmoil is temporary, and more fickle than you feel it is. Ego isn't real, and so neither are our comfort zones. Sending you love and well wishes! You deserve it!

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