Bad habits, addiction, wasted time

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gescom
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2016 4:31 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Bad habits, addiction, wasted time

Post by gescom »

This may help regarding sexual desire. :reading:

Engaging in Bodhisattva Behavior - Chapter 8 - Far Reaching Mental Stability/Perfection of Concentration
http://studybuddhism.com/en/tibetan-bud ... centration
(39) (For) lustful desires give rise to disasters in this world and in the next ones as well. In this one, they bring about murder, imprisonment, and knifings, and in the next, joyless realms and the like.

(40) Those (bodies) for which sake, you repeatedly begged before male and female go-betweens, and for which sake, you didn't shrink from either negative behavior or disgrace,

(41) (For which) you threw yourself even in danger and even spent all your wealth, and embracing which, you experienced the utmost pleasure (of sexual release) –

(42) They were nothing but skeletons, independent, and never yours! Why not push on, (instead,) to nirvanic release, which you can fully embrace to your heart's content?

(43) That face, which, (at your wedding,) you lifted up first with effort and drew near, although it was bashfully looking down, and whether previously seen or not seen (by you), was covered with a veil,

(44) That face, which emotionally disturbed you so, is now unveiled by the vultures and can be directly seen. Why do you run away now?

(45) That (face) which you protected (before) from the leers of others' eyes, why aren't you protecting it now, (jealous) miser, while it's being devoured by them?

(46) Seeing this pile of meat being gulped down by vultures and the rest, (tell me), is the food of others something to be offered with garlands of flowers, jewelry, and sandalwood scent?

(47) If you (experience) fright from seeing even a skeleton, though it lacks any movement, why wasn't there horror when it was set into motion by some (intent), like a zombie.

(48) You lusted after it, even when it was covered, why don't you lust for it (now), when uncovered (from its skin)? If you have no use for it (now), why did you sexually embrace it when covered?

(52) If you have no attachment for what is foul, why do you sexually embrace another (body): a cagework of bones, bound together with sinews, and plastered over with a mud of flesh?

(53) You yourself contain plenty of excrement, so manage by yourself, steadfastly with that. Glutton for excrement, you long for yet another bag of excrement?

(54) (Thinking,) "But it's the flesh I delight in," you long to touch and look at it. But why have you no desire for the flesh (here,) in its natural state, devoid of a mind?

(55) And whatever mind you might desire, cannot be touched or looked at, and whatever can, hasn't a consciousness. So it's no use! Why do you sexually embrace it?

(56) Though it's no great surprise that you don't understand that another's body, by nature, is something (full of) excrement; but that you don't understand that your very own is, by nature, something (full of) excrement – that's really shocking!

(57) Having rejected the tender lotus, (born from the muck and) opened by the rays of the unclouded sun, what delight is there in a cagework (of bones, full) of feces, for a mind obsessed with excrement?

(61) Not only do you not disparage the excremental nature of yourself, you glutton for excrement, you long for other bags of excrement too!

(63) If you still have doubts about its being, like this, in the nature of excrement, though it's so obvious, look at the (ghastly) foul bodies of others, thrown away in the charnel ground.

(64) When the skin is torn open, great horror comes up from it. Knowing just that, how can delight come up any more from that very same thing?

(70) Having seen merely a few skeletons, you were so turned off in the charnel ground; yet you find sexual pleasure in charnel-ground cities crowded with moving skeletons?

(71) Further, that (bag) full of excrement like that isn't obtained without a price: there's exhaustion in earning (money) for its sake and torment (later) in joyless realms and the like.

(72) It's not possible to build up wealth as a child, so as a teenager, what is there to get pleasure with? Spending adulthood accumulating wealth, what can an old person do with sexual desires?

(82) Whatever hardships there are in exhausting yourself all the time for the sake of the puny desires (of the body) that will definitely perish and (consequently) fall to joyless realms and worse,

(83) With one millionth of the hardship, there would be Buddhahood; whereas those with desires have suffering greater than those engaged in bodhisattva behavior, and yet they have no enlightenment.
Soma999
Posts: 702
Joined: Fri Apr 15, 2016 3:52 pm

Re: Bad habits, addiction, wasted time

Post by Soma999 »

I don't think making someone see woman as bag of shit or skeleton will be helpful for his hapiness.

Guilt and shame don't help. In no way they help. Maybe one who buy all those suggestion will reduce sexual activity our of fear, but if it's just mental repression, you can have then much fantasy where it makes the mind crazy, and other kind of situations, and every time the person will indulge, he will belittle himself and treat himself like shit, like if he performed a fault.

It's much better to learn how to behave correctly with sexuality. It's just a matter of energy.

Energy can bind you. Energy can free you. It's not up to energy. It's up to you.

So what is to be transformed is you. And the best way to learn how to transform sexuality is by learning how to behave correctly with it. There are many books which give good knowledge and keys.

If you search the Goddess behind a woman, maybe it will even transform your desire, and create something positive.

Well, just my two cents.
narhwal90
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2016 3:10 am
Location: Baltimore, MD

Re: Bad habits, addiction, wasted time

Post by narhwal90 »

I liked the passages not because they suggest women are ugly bags of bones, but that the language helps shake the awareness loose from obsession and lust.
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