Questionsdharma wrote: ↑
Sat May 12, 2018 6:00 pm
Jesse wrote: ↑
Thu May 10, 2018 11:11 pm
Questionsdharma wrote: ↑
Thu May 10, 2018 7:03 pm
My sympathy goes to you.I have the exact same thing.I have had type 3" magical thinking"OCD since the age of 8 or 9,intrusive thoughts and false memories.I have been making vows since last yr to counteract my OCD and intrusive thoughts.for example ,my mind will tell me that if you look at something,touch something,think of something or sometimes if you don't do all that bad things will happen like you,will go into a trance wich you,will,never wake up from,or when you fall asleep and wake up you are in a false realm that seems real but isn't,its a trance.so since age 13 til age 24 or so I believed I was in a trance and did thousands of rituals a week to bring me back to the real world and also hundreds of rituals a day to prevent calamity that id rather not mention.last yr I started making vows to,countreact it.I then in july made a vow that all vows in the future except marriage are optional or invalidated automatically at least I think I did(false memory).I also made many vows to counteract my sinister intrusive thoughts,so my intrusive thoughts would say if you step on this step or move your body this way even accidentally you are vowing that you will never benefit from the golden light sutra...so I quickly made a vow to counteract that that said may I always benefit from the golden light sutra and then I will never do anything that invalidates me benefiting from the the golden light sutra ..then I freaked out!because I thought I said this grammatically wrong wi ch would give the vow its opposite meaning.I then next day vowed to benefit from every mantra and sutra or I think I did .next day intrusive thoughts -against my will-said if you step on this part of the floor you are vowing to never benefit from golden light sutra ,I accidently stepped on it !next day false memories creeped in and OCD said stop reciting all these mantras(namgyalma,vajrapani,karma cleaning mantras and other ones recommended by Lama zopa )because you vowed to amitabha to only recite his mantra 3 months ago...now I know I never did that but it kept telling me I did,so I frantically spent hours trying to remember if I did and panicking and then searched 3 months worth of search history .then I prayed to amitabha himself to release me if I did and prayed to the karmapa.I think I once vowed before all this happened to never vow anything negative because I know my intrusive thoughts tries to say I'm making a vow by touching something that obstructs me from good things so I try to counteract it .my OCD and intrusive thoughts also tell,me stop praying to all these Buddha's for help from" me "because they think you're filthy and worthless,they're irritated with you or they're working for me.this evil intrusive thought came and said all these Buddha's and high lamas are secretly working against you and making sure you don't leave this illusory trance you've been in for 13 yrs.I dismissed it readily,but I've actually had scarier intrusive thoughts in the past .quite a few people have suggested that I'm demon possessed and I wouldn't be surprised if I were,its told,me to do some pretty harmful things to,myself to counteract a greater disaster many times .anyway I'm "glad "there's someone else out there with this exact same,problem maybe were not the only ones and hopefully we will be liberated from this suffering soon .pls keep us in your prayers guys and know that we exist.
Some of this falls under the realm of OCD, other parts are delusions which are a subtype/form of psychosis. Especially the thought intrusion, and thinking such as 'if you step on this, then this will happen'; this is psychosis. OCD meds will not work, and I hope you've shared these thoughts with your mental health provider, as they would know what to do to help you.
So, please go see a doctor.
Hello and peace and blessings
I have been in therapy for 5 years,none of it worked.I have taken haldol for a year and a half,it didn't help even one bit but only gave me brain damage and permanent nightmares like all psychiatric meds do.I have taken sertraline and another SSRI for over a year,and it didn't work one bit only made me sleep 16 hours a day.
I also disagree with you that this is psychosis.psychosis is defined by auditory and visual hallucinations,I have never in my entire life had a audiroty and visual hallucination..EVER.
http://www.gatewayocd.com/magical-think ... treatment/
https://www.optimumperformanceinstitute ... -thinking/
this is type 3 OCD and its subcategory magical thinking OCD
,most people have lighter forms of OCD,I have been diagnosed 10 yrs ago by the Bascule the top institute in the entire Netherlands for such things as having OCD and Autism but never psychosis.
How do I also know this isn't Psychosis?Because Anytime I have taken low dose Psychedelics like Peyote or in one case Truffles(not promoting illegal substances,in my country the Netherlands they are decriminilized or semi-legal) the Fear,OCD,rituals and strange ideas and intrusive thoughts disappeared for a few days completely,this only happened about 3 times in my entire life and it was the best days of my life,I am not promoting the use of these substances outside of a legal setting and medical supervision by professionals,but medical studies show that-under medical controlled supervisors- they do heal OCD by acting like serotonin and dopamine(theyre chemically almost identical FYI) two chemicals OCD sufferers have too little of or too little going to the right places,wioch is the cause of our disease.psychotic individuals have too much of these chemicals.
I also Am very angry at the poster above you saying OCD can be useful for Dhamma/dharma practice,why do people who are mentally perfectely fine always condescendingly say such things to us?or that they have ocd too!(oh I fold my clothes a little too much and likethe magazines and books in my bookshelf perfectely straight,I have OCD too and I function very well!).OCD is a life destroying,functionally impairing,emotionally wrecking and serious disease .
Sometimes it takes decades to find a combination of effective medications, and the medications you mentioned I wouldn't touch with 2 ten foot poles...
Haldol is an ancient anti-psychotic which has been proven to be both ineffective in treatment (other than as a chemical restraint.), and one that causes brain damage, and damage to the nervous system.
https://www.madinamerica.com/2013/07/ha ... eurotoxic/
You have to study this shit, and go in informed when you talk to a psychiatrist. If my psych recommends a drug that I know sucks, doesn't work, or has side effects I don't want, I refuse it. In fact if you are informed enough, and know enough; your psych, will generally let you recommend your own medications, as long as they are allowed for the condition you are diagnosed with.
At the moment I am taking Cymbalta, Seroquel, Buspar, and Klonopin.
However; as a condition of taking the Cymbalta, I chose the dosages of the rest of my meds. That being small doses of Seroquel, 25mg 3 times a day. Also they wanted to take my klonopin away, which I refused.
I have seen seroquel used as a chemical restrain so many times it's not even frak funny. In the mental hospital; I saw patients who would just sit there and drool on themselves, because the day before they pissed off the nursing staff; so they had them put on insanely high dosages of seroquel.
I even asked the nurse the dosage one guy was on, 3,000MG.... 3000 frak miligrams.
He could walk, talk, eat, sleep, and shit.. well mostly sleep.. but he was a walking zombie.. and when he sat there or talked to you(incoherantly), he would drool to the point that his shirt would be wet.
I got so pissed off at the staff there, they just avoided me, because 99.9% of people do not have the knowledge, will, or ability to stand up for themselves in these types of places; they knew I did. They coulda shot me up with 10,000mg of Seroquel, and 100mg of Ativan (actually the typical combination(not dosage) for people caught fighting, fu.cking, or otherwise misbehaving in the MH.)
I would of just been high essentially, my body is so used to drugs they just don't effect me the same anymore, but for example, a simple call to your insurance, or a lawyer would shut that shit down pretty quick. Not that youd be able to win a case against a large hospital, especially a state ran one, but they like to avoid legal trouble, and especially publicity.
Anyway, I've been in and out of mental hospitals most of my life, I've seen alot.. and I know most of the system is totally F.UCKED.
That said, there are good people working in mental health, it's just that finding them is ridiculously hard, and medication is not a solution, it's a band-aid that's used while you go through a real treatment, any form of proven therapy.
However, in some cases, medication is required lifelong, especially in serious cases of mental illness. I am someone who will take medicine the rest of my life most likely. My OCD is extremely bad.
That said, The "Magical Thinking", is essentially what I said, delusions. They have simply categorized it within the OCD label, and made it a subtype with a funny name. But they could of called it something more accurate, because what it is essentially is OCD with psychotic features.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... l-thinking
Delusions are a type of psychosis. Psychosis is not simply visual and auditory hallucinations. Psychosis spans a wide range of mental phenemena, especially certain types of thinking, perceiving, or belief.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... l-thinking
https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/gui ... sychosis#1
http://www.scielo.br/scielo.php?pid=s01 ... xt&tlng=en