Making changes.

A forum for discussion of Buddhist ethics.
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dialectbird
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Making changes.

Post by dialectbird » Sat Jul 21, 2018 11:04 am

I started practicing at the end of last year, and am now confronted with certain things in my own behavior that I would deem morally inappropriate for a person who would consider themselves a Buddhist. I have a genuine urge to live more closely with the precepts and to live a simpler life. There are a few of the precepts that I have difficulty with. I don’t want to mention the particulars, but basically, when I am in the act of doing something that I find inappropriate or that I know is wrong, I can’t seem to get a grip enough to shake myself free of these poisonous actions.

I know it’s super vague, but is there anything I can to do end these problems?

合掌
DB

kausalya
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Re: Making changes.

Post by kausalya » Sat Jul 21, 2018 6:49 pm

dialectbird wrote:
Sat Jul 21, 2018 11:04 am
I started practicing at the end of last year, and am now confronted with certain things in my own behavior that I would deem morally inappropriate for a person who would consider themselves a Buddhist. I have a genuine urge to live more closely with the precepts and to live a simpler life. There are a few of the precepts that I have difficulty with. I don’t want to mention the particulars, but basically, when I am in the act of doing something that I find inappropriate or that I know is wrong, I can’t seem to get a grip enough to shake myself free of these poisonous actions.

I know it’s super vague, but is there anything I can to do end these problems?

合掌
DB
Details would be helpful, of course, as then I might be able to tailor my advice.

Off the top of my head, you need to start questioning what you're doing, and sticking around long enough in introspection to get some answers.

An example would be from Lama Surya Das's teaching, where he recommends asking, "How real is this? How long-lasting is this?"

You need to become analytical/methodical if you want to deconstruct your behaviour patterns. Don't merely use meditation as a temporary relief from the onslaught of daily living, but make it work for you. Don't blame anyone, including yourself; just make the determination to examine what's there and work with it until you can let it go.
"Open sky does not abide, nor do sentient beings."

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dialectbird
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Re: Making changes.

Post by dialectbird » Sat Jul 21, 2018 6:56 pm

Thank you so much,
I think that just relflecting on those words alone will be a great way to begin this process of change. I think in the case of what is at hand, repeating those words to myself will help to sway bad decisions. I will further analyze the reasons as to why I do the things I do.
Again, thank you for your insight here.
合掌
:anjali:
DB

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Georgei
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Re: Making changes.

Post by Georgei » Sun Jul 22, 2018 2:35 pm

Hello dialectbird ..

I am brand spanking new, so take my comments with a grain of salt..

I was one prior to about a week ago who did not truly believe there is a hell.. Now that I have read about the six realms of which include Naraka-gati ( hell ), I have changed my mind..

I also have had inappropriate behaviors. But am now ignoring them and have deleted them in one way or another from my daily routines. Now that I am "aware" and have had the concept of "liberation from Samsara" put into my head, it is the fear of being recycled after death or sent to Naraka-gati instead of reaching nirvana that remind me and keep me steadfast for what is important in the long term.

At least for today, I am scared straight knowing what the consequences of my poor behaviors will be if I do not complying with the precepts of Buddhism and the Eightfold Path ! One day at a time...

This human realm is but a blink of an eye, and is the only one of the six realms that we are given the opportunity to escape samsara. Individually, it is greater than a one in a billion chance that we were born into this realm. For myself, I am placing the long term good of my soul over this short term earthly experience and the desires that come with it resulting in poor behaviors..

kausalya
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Re: Making changes.

Post by kausalya » Sun Jul 22, 2018 8:48 pm

Georgei wrote:
Sun Jul 22, 2018 2:35 pm
This human realm is but a blink of an eye, and is the only one of the six realms that we are given the opportunity to escape samsara. Individually, it is greater than a one in a billion chance that we were born into this realm. For myself, I am placing the long term good of my soul over this short term earthly experience and the desires that come with it resulting in poor behaviors..
This is true, but until/unless someone develops first-hand faith in the existence of future lives, that line of reasoning won't make sense.

I don't know what dialectbird believes, and perhaps that's why I stayed away from that.

For the most part, at least, it's unnecessary. Most important is to gain conviction in the workings of karma, and then (I would say) it's a short leap to future lives...

I practiced for years before I ever entertained the idea, and although I'm pretty dull, something tells me my experience is common these days.
dialectbird wrote:
Sat Jul 21, 2018 6:56 pm
Thank you so much,
...
Feel free to send me a message if you'd like to chat, DB :smile:
"Open sky does not abide, nor do sentient beings."

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PSM
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Re: Making changes.

Post by PSM » Sun Jul 22, 2018 9:49 pm

Habits take time to change, especially those which have high emotional involvement or have addictive elements to them. Give yourself some time to change, don't beat yourself up, but keep your intention clear and only deliberately push in one direction.
"The only virtue which cannot be faked is courage" - Nassim Nicholas Taleb
"We don't want to feel the weirdness of life." - James Low

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dialectbird
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Re: Making changes.

Post by dialectbird » Wed Jul 25, 2018 7:34 am

Thank you all so much for your kind words, and encouragement. Today, I sat with the Sangha. There were only four of us present, and I think that I felt a closeness there, in our practice, that I had forgotten. The answers were right there the whole time. Continue proceeding clearly. The negative urges have subsided a bit for now, and I’ve read through the fire surmon a few times for some extra reenforcement. Thank you all again.
合掌
:anjali:
DB

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weitsicht
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Re: Making changes.

Post by weitsicht » Wed Jul 25, 2018 11:05 am

Hi dialectbird,

first of all it's good to see what you haven't looked into since. Take that as a positive sign.
Second, have a look at that without labelling it "problem". It wants to show you something and it invites you to do something out of that.
Third, first things first. If you follow the analytical approach (as kausalya did already suggest), you can gain clarity by separating the different issues form each other, look at them separately. Which of these are most imminent? Work on them first.

There are outer, inner and unseen obstacles. Whatever shows, does so for a reason. A reason that needs not be understood through rationale.

By the way, I like the calligraphy of your avatar. What is the face looking at? -cannot quite discern that. Maybe you PM me the artist's name? Thanks.
Ho! All the possible appearances and existences of samsara and nirvana have the same source, yet two paths and two results arise as the magical display of awareness and unawareness.
HO NANG SRI KHOR DAE THAMCHE KUN ZHI CHIG LAM NYI DRAE BU NYI RIG DANG MA RIG CHOM THRUL TE

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