Dating

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Trik444
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Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:27 am

Dating

Post by Trik444 » Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:50 am

I recently made an incredible connection with a woman, and we practice at the same Temple. (Yeah I know 2 Buddhist with a connection who would have thought). So I guess technically we are dating. Problem is she feels a little concern about our Master seeing right through her, like we are doing something wrong. Especially when she drops her son off for a weekend of instruction from master, and we spend time together. I tried reassuring her that it's not like a one-night stand and nothing to feel guilty about. Pretty sure no one at Temple knows what's going on (no PDA), so any outside advice is appreciated.
Thank you

muni
Posts: 4813
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:59 am

Re: Dating

Post by muni » Tue Jan 14, 2020 9:30 am

Hello Sir,

There can be relationships without grasping for selfish purpose. Many Masters are married as well. The welfare of each other and all around is priority, supporting each other, encouraging each other, inspiring each other.

Talk about together with the Master, please. He/She can provide you what is appropriate in this case, to bring clarity and guide.


All the best.
Clinging to the ordinary world, both the outer environment and the beings within it, as real is the incorrect relative. The antidote to this, such as visualizing everyone as pure deities and the environment as the pure maṇḍala palace, while at the same time considering them to be a mere illusion, is the correct relative.

Examining the faults of "others" will not benefit anyone and only leads to more disturbing emotions, blocking our path to liberation. Penor Rinpoche

Simon E.
Posts: 7062
Joined: Tue May 15, 2012 11:09 am

Re: Dating

Post by Simon E. » Tue Jan 14, 2020 10:10 am

Trik444 wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:50 am
I recently made an incredible connection with a woman, and we practice at the same Temple. (Yeah I know 2 Buddhist with a connection who would have thought). So I guess technically we are dating. Problem is she feels a little concern about our Master seeing right through her, like we are doing something wrong. Especially when she drops her son off for a weekend of instruction from master, and we spend time together. I tried reassuring her that it's not like a one-night stand and nothing to feel guilty about. Pretty sure no one at Temple knows what's going on (no PDA), so any outside advice is appreciated.
Thank you
I suspect that either you or she or both are carrying the conditioning of another religion and projecting it onto your teacher.
Hard to say without knowing more about your lineage.
Why not ask him?
“The difference between us and Tara is that she knows she doesn’t exist”.

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Berry
Posts: 289
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:19 am

Re: Dating

Post by Berry » Tue Jan 14, 2020 5:14 pm

Trik444 wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:50 am
Problem is she feels a little concern about our Master seeing right through her, like we are doing something wrong. Especially when she drops her son off for a weekend of instruction from master, and we spend time together.
Can I ask the age of your girlfriend's son, please ?
Leave the polluted water of conceptual thoughts in its natural clarity. Without affirming or denying appearances, leave them as they are. When there is neither acceptance nor rejection, mind is liberated into mahāmudra.

~ Tilopa

Trik444
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:27 am

Re: Dating

Post by Trik444 » Thu Jan 16, 2020 4:30 am

Son is 15

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Berry
Posts: 289
Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:19 am

Re: Dating

Post by Berry » Thu Jan 16, 2020 11:06 am

I don't understand why your girlfriend would want to deceive her teacher and others at the temple, or leave her 15 yr old son there while she's with you.

I would therefore suggest that you have some calm, sensible discussions about the situation with both your girlfriend and your teacher.
Leave the polluted water of conceptual thoughts in its natural clarity. Without affirming or denying appearances, leave them as they are. When there is neither acceptance nor rejection, mind is liberated into mahāmudra.

~ Tilopa

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