Telling it must not purify the bad karma per se. Maybe it is clearifying, unless the dialogue is not excited. But when the wife is only abused as listener to hurting stories, the result can be reverse to what was intended.gescom wrote:I think if you love your wife as you say then you must tell her.
From Lama Zopa Rinpoche: http://www.lamayeshe.com/advice/sexual-misconduct-0
Sexual misconduct means sexual relations with a person who has a partner – wife, husband, and so forth. If the motivation for such action is not brave hearted, completely renouncing oneself and cherishing others, and with the wisdom seeing what is beneficial for others, then these actions become negative karma. By committing this negative karma of sexual misconduct, then in future lives, for one hundred thousand lifetimes, even if one is reborn as a human being, others completely turn against you and become disharmonious. People do not support you. Also, other people want to leave you and separate from you. Or you may live with someone but it is not harmonious. Also, due to this karma, the place where you live is filthy and smelly. Due to past imprints, the karma left on the mental continuum, you again engage in similar negative actions. This is besides being reborn in the lower realms.
(E.g.: "I love her, because she is not like you." What a wonderful confession.)