Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
Hi everyone,
I have a multi-faceted question to ask re. sex & the Dharma:
Is sexually moving from one "partner" (bizarre word meaning nothing to me) to another ethical per the Dharma?
I understand about consenting adults, MY being aware of the act, the consequences, etc.
Is this not being promiscuous even if there is a large gap of time between sexual partners?
Also, What place does marriage and a commitment have? Please cite sources if you quote texts.
Thank you,
Stefos
I have a multi-faceted question to ask re. sex & the Dharma:
Is sexually moving from one "partner" (bizarre word meaning nothing to me) to another ethical per the Dharma?
I understand about consenting adults, MY being aware of the act, the consequences, etc.
Is this not being promiscuous even if there is a large gap of time between sexual partners?
Also, What place does marriage and a commitment have? Please cite sources if you quote texts.
Thank you,
Stefos
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
My guess is the Buddha would of advocated against moving from parter to the other and promiscuous sex. He would of recommended family values for his lay followers.
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
My understanding is the same however I can't give solid reference points in either the Pali, Chinese or Tibetan works.
I don't see why Lord Buddha would have said to "go right ahead with anyone" sexually speaking along with "marriage doesn't matter."
Funny, one would think that given North American and European humanism which promotes promiscuity under the guise of "getting together"
more fellow Buddhists and Vajra Brother and Sisters would be here posting to address this with a sense of urgency.
Thank you for your post
Stefos
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
Thinking through Texts: Toward a Critical Buddhist Theology of Sexuality José Ignacio Cabezón.
There's also a book called The Red Thread: Buddhist Approaches to Sexuality, Bernard Faure.
Both these are by Western academics.
There's also a book called The Red Thread: Buddhist Approaches to Sexuality, Bernard Faure.
Both these are by Western academics.
'Only practice with no gaining idea' ~ Suzuki Roshi
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Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
Wayfarer wrote: ↑Sun Dec 31, 2017 4:53 am Thinking through Texts: Toward a Critical Buddhist Theology of Sexuality José Ignacio Cabezón.
There's also a book called The Red Thread: Buddhist Approaches to Sexuality, Bernard Faure.
Both these are by Western academics.
Cabezon just released his magnum opus on this topic:
https://www.wisdompubs.org/book/sexuali ... n-buddhism
Last edited by dzogchungpa on Sun Dec 31, 2017 5:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
If you look at books like journey to hell there is quite a bit of attention given to the promiscuous etc. Pretty sure the jade record does too.
But of course alot of people on here will say these arent real sutras
But of course alot of people on here will say these arent real sutras
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Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
Modern 'family values' did not exist in the Buddha's time, because people did not conceive of the nuclear family the way we do, fairly obviously. Neither did the silly 'sex postivity' one currently finds on the other end of the spectrum.
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Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared
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Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
No thanks, there are enough moralizers who want to deny others their autonomy in Dharma already. We don't have to like others sexual choices, but having 'urgency' about another person's (consensual ) sex life, and offering unsolicited advice is just asinine behavior, period.Stefos wrote: more fellow Buddhists and Vajra Brother and Sisters would be here posting to address this with a sense of urgency.
Thank you for your post
Stefos
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when afflicted by disease
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared
-Khunu Lama
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when sad
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when suffering occurs
Meditate upon Bodhicitta when you are scared
-Khunu Lama
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
I second a great post.Johnny Dangerous wrote: ↑Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:55 amNo thanks, there are enough moralizers who want to deny others their autonomy in Dharma already. We don't have to like others sexual choices, but having 'urgency' about another person's (consensual ) sex life, and offering unsolicited advice is just asinine behavior, period.Stefos wrote: more fellow Buddhists and Vajra Brother and Sisters would be here posting to address this with a sense of urgency.
Thank you for your post
Stefos
Also I can't see a problem with a 2nd partner after you've parted ways with the 1st partner.
If I understood the original post correctly.
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
This.Johnny Dangerous wrote: ↑Sun Dec 31, 2017 8:42 am Modern 'family values' did not exist in the Buddha's time, because people did not conceive of the nuclear family the way we do, fairly obviously. Neither did the silly 'sex postivity' one currently finds on the other end of the spectrum.
“You don’t know it. You just know about it. That is not the same thing.”
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
There is an elephant in the room..or possibly a panda.
A conflation of Christian ethical stances with Dharma produces problems, but less obviously perhaps, so does a conflation of Confucianism and Dharma.
A conflation of Christian ethical stances with Dharma produces problems, but less obviously perhaps, so does a conflation of Confucianism and Dharma.
“You don’t know it. You just know about it. That is not the same thing.”
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
Let's address the buck deer, then. Pretending that the Buddha would have approved of modern sexual mores or that he didn't preach anything resembling our concept of "family values" to householders is just one more illusion. Not that I'm one to talk. My dedication to Dharma, among other factors, has left me a serial monogamist—but I only have to keep the Diamond Precept.
Just replace the phrase "high school" with the word "college." I'm not going to fool myself, or try to convince others, into thinking this is Brahma conduct, though.
These days, even married women are on the prowl for "new experiences." That's one kind of demon's mouth I steer clear of.
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
Sounds like the women have had a lucky escape.
“You don’t know it. You just know about it. That is not the same thing.”
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
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Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
Buddha for sure supported traditional marriage. For one he himself only took one wife and he also did say things about the 'sufferings of being a co-wife' . Give me a minute to give you guys some citations. But for sure buddha taught that monogamy was best for lay people.
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
No, the Buddha had at least two wives, and according to some sources, three; as well as many mistresses. The Lalitavistara reports he had a wife named Gopa, who was his head wife:Fortyeightvows wrote: ↑Sun Dec 31, 2017 4:36 pm Buddha for sure supported traditional marriage. For one he himself only took one wife...
Then indeed, in order to conform to worldly conventions, the Bodhisattva dwelt among 84,000 women and showed himself to partake of the amorous games with pleasure. Among the 84,000 women, the Śākya girl Gopā was consecrated as the foremost wife.
"Traditional" marriage exists in many forms: polygamy, polyandry, monogamy, and everything in between.
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
What did Lord Buddha advise regarding the purchase of a good wife and how to properly discipline her? (This is still custom in parts of rural Mexico.)
Thanks
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
It is often said to be Yasodhara. Who was third wife? Gopa was not Rahula's mom, right?Malcolm wrote: ↑Sun Dec 31, 2017 4:45 pmNo, the Buddha had at least two wives, and according to some sources, three; as well as many mistresses. The Lalitavistara reports he had a wife named Gopa, who was his head wife:Fortyeightvows wrote: ↑Sun Dec 31, 2017 4:36 pm Buddha for sure supported traditional marriage. For one he himself only took one wife...
Then indeed, in order to conform to worldly conventions, the Bodhisattva dwelt among 84,000 women and showed himself to partake of the amorous games with pleasure. Among the 84,000 women, the Śākya girl Gopā was consecrated as the foremost wife.
"Traditional" marriage exists in many forms: polygamy, polyandry, monogamy, and everything in between.
May all beings be free from suffering and causes of suffering
Re: Sexuality, Marriage, Promiscuity and the Dharma
Just to add a bit more here, the Abhiniṣkramaṇa-sūtra states that the Buddha had three main wives, Gopa, Yaśodharā, and Mrigajā, as well as 60,000 other wives, that is to say, 20,000 wives as the retinue for the three main wives. Buddha's palace was literally crawling with wives.