Chogyal Namkhai Norbu .
I'm not a very good student though .
Hopefully I can find some markers throughout this forum
Giving, reinstating or being taken advantage of ?
Re: Giving, reinstating or being taken advantage of ?
"When you play in dirt, you get dirty" - Jimmy McNulty
Re: Giving, reinstating or being taken advantage of ?
So...someone you haven't been in a relationship with for three years turns up and harasses you for thousands of dollars because she paid for some takeout food?Joseph wrote: ↑Tue May 14, 2019 12:37 am I have spoken to a number of people about this ( mostly non-Buddhist & with 1 Buddhist) , whom think she is emotionally manipulating me , putting all the blame onto me for her actions and spending habits; none of them think I should pay her any money for her decision making, and that it is 'out of line' for her to ask. I sent some money that I did forget about, something concrete , but the rest seemed very arbitrary and it was a fairly large sum for me ($3000) - I have been saving for my first overseas trip the last three years, and obviously I am attached to this
So I guess, What I'm after is what you, Buddhist practitioners would do.... How do I balance wanting to give, without being taken advantage of? I have had to block her at the moment as the emotional abuse (everyday 50-100 messages) was starting to affect me .
Clearly she's not going to get any money from you by legal means. I would ignore her completely, just don't engage, except in one circumstance. If you really did something terrrible to her, some lasting evil deed that can never see the light of day and for which an apology just isn't enough. I'm not talking here about failure to split a bill - I mean burning her house down, killing her dog, etc. Didn't do any of those? Then just say no and get on with your life. The Buddhist perspective is not only informed by compassion, it also requires wisdom.
Re: Giving, reinstating or being taken advantage of ?
Might be late to the game, but, I'd tell her,
Send me, by mail, an itemized account, with copies of receipts showing payments.
I will consider what you show me.
Please stop contacting me. Communicate with me only by mail. I will block you on all other platforms.
If she can produce receipts, I'd think about it. I might also look at it and put it at the bottom of my to do pile.
She sounds like bad news. Lose her ASAP.
Buck up, dude. Being fair doesn't mean being a pushover.
Send me, by mail, an itemized account, with copies of receipts showing payments.
I will consider what you show me.
Please stop contacting me. Communicate with me only by mail. I will block you on all other platforms.
If she can produce receipts, I'd think about it. I might also look at it and put it at the bottom of my to do pile.
She sounds like bad news. Lose her ASAP.
Buck up, dude. Being fair doesn't mean being a pushover.
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,