Loving those who have died

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Misty
Posts: 34
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2015 7:29 pm

Loving those who have died

Post by Misty » Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:44 pm

I find these beautiful words comforting when I'm remembering those I love who have died.

"Grief, I've learned, is really love.
It's all the love you want to give but cannot.
All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes,
the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest.
Grief is just love with no place to go."
-Jamie Anderson

I think dharma helps us to be present with the pain of their absence making the tenderness of our love more accessible.

And now I love and laugh with my wonderful memories. I find it most amusing when I try to retell their stories. The results of my effort always fall short of the original authors delivery but that fact is part of the fun.

What helps you?

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Hazel
Posts: 115
Joined: Mon Sep 23, 2019 11:15 pm

Re: Loving those who have died

Post by Hazel » Tue Dec 24, 2019 11:05 pm

Misty wrote:
Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:44 pm
"Grief, I've learned, is really love.
It's all the love you want to give but cannot.
All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes,
the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest.
Grief is just love with no place to go."
-Jamie Anderson
This is beautiful, thank you for sharing! This gives me a new perspective on grief/regret I experience when thinking of my grandfather's passing. I turned down the opportunity to see him before he died, when I well knew it was my last chance. And now I'm full of regret each time I think of him. But I think that may just be grief that he has gone and pent up love I never expressed in his late life.

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seeker242
Posts: 1545
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:50 pm
Location: South Florida, USA

Re: Loving those who have died

Post by seeker242 » Wed Dec 25, 2019 2:49 pm

Misty wrote:
Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:44 pm
What helps you?
The dharma teaching of the fact that death is inevitable. Not some bad thing to try and get away from, because that's impossible. To try get away from what is inevitable, helps nothing and no one and only causes more suffering. Nobody lives forever and that's not a bad thing. It's just the natural course of events.

And also the fact that it is only their body that has died, which has happened many times before, for them and for ourselves as well. Their mindstream continues on and does not just cease to be. So in that way, they haven't actually died. They are just continuing on from here. So in that way, there is a place for that love to go, it goes to their future, their continuation and a wish for that continuation to be free of suffering. The love keeps going to that place, wherever that place may be.

:anjali:
One should not kill any living being, nor cause it to be killed, nor should one incite any other to kill. Do never injure any being, whether strong or weak, in this entire universe!

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