Getting way off topic now, but presented for your amusement:The Cicada wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 2:38 pmHonestly, I prefer properly prepared Kool-Aid. "Oh Yeah!"
I once had a conversation with a friend from South Carolina about what a man's man looked like to them when they were grown up. How does a "real man" carry himself? He showed me a picture of some puffy white guy who played for a team called the GameCocks. He looked soft, not a hair on his chin, with hair that had been both washed and conditioned. Mostly, he looked spoiled and chubby, like he lived on sugary kid food (co-cola, swee tea, all that crap) and likely chewed with his mouth open. In other words: the picture of masculinity for my friend in his childhood screamed childish, effeminate, and closet-case to me. GameCocks?
The "real men" I grew up around were hairy, lean and strong from doing actual work, and mean, not play-mean, but tough enough to be kind of scary, and tough enough to be genuinely kind. My grandfather could have been a convincing Lemmy from Motorhead on Halloween if he had time for what he would call childish crap. The only time he chewed with his mouth open was when he got Copenhagen stuck under his dentures. He didn't exchange hair care tips on Pinterest with the other GameCocks.
Anyway, an informal study in regional masculinities in the US.
This is what I was reminded of when you posted that video of a NOT CLOSETED REALLY STRAIGHT DON'T SUE ME XENU John Travolta shoving some throbbing uncut slimy thing down another dude's throat by force. It looked like what I suppose could be a hazing ritual for a GameCock.
And that's why I don't eat kid food or drink kid drinks. I get enough carbs from beer and booze. I'll never be the man my grandfather was, but I do my best.
With that said, the language I'm using and the description I'm giving is inherently sexist and homophobic, and gets even more complicated once you introduce race (my friend's Southern example was white only...). That's how masculinity is constructed: in opposition to what "real men" are not (effeminate, queer, childish, or whatever). It's up to us who identify as menfolk not to be suckered into that kind of bullshit, true, and while I'm happy to play with my daughter and care for her and respect her intelligence and autonomy, I still don't like to drink sugary kid drinks or eat boring kid food. If anyone wants we can take that discussion to another thread and hammer at it for a while.