When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

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bcol01
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When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by bcol01 » Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:18 pm

You know, all the white privilege/shaming stuff going on these days. Should I be ashamed for choosing my own skin color?

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Queequeg
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by Queequeg » Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:30 pm

bcol01 wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:18 pm
You know, all the white privilege/shaming stuff going on these days. Should I be ashamed for choosing my own skin color?
1. You shouldn't feel ashamed for something like your skin color. Why should you?
2. White privilege should not be a source of shame. Just acknowledge it and move on. Why should it be shameful?
Those who, even with distracted minds,
Entered a stupa compound
And chanted but once, “Namo Buddhaya!”
Have certainly attained the path of the buddhas.

-Lotus Sutra, Expedient Means Chapter

There are beings with little dust in their eyes who are falling away because they do not hear the Dhamma. There will be those who will understand the Dhamma.
-Ayacana Sutta

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Grigoris
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by Grigoris » Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:43 pm

bcol01 wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:18 pm
You know, all the white privilege/shaming stuff going on these days. Should I be ashamed for choosing my own skin color?
Taking advantage of your privilege for self gain/profit is "shameful", using this privilege to benefit all sentient beings is not shameful.

BTW, when was the last time you were shamed for being white? I mean, really...
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde

bcol01
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by bcol01 » Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:48 pm

Today actually. Not sure how to respond to someone who tells me that I should be ashamed for being white.
Grigoris wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:43 pm
bcol01 wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:18 pm
You know, all the white privilege/shaming stuff going on these days. Should I be ashamed for choosing my own skin color?
Taking advantage of your privilege for self gain/profit is "shameful", using this privilege to benefit all sentient beings is not shameful.

BTW, when was the last time you were shamed for being white? I mean, really...

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Grigoris
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by Grigoris » Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:52 pm

bcol01 wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:48 pm
Today actually. Not sure how to respond to someone who tells me that I should be ashamed for being white.
Personally, I would just look at them like they are an idiot. But then, I am not afraid to get into a punch-up.
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde

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Johnny Dangerous
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by Johnny Dangerous » Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:56 pm

Grigoris wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:43 pm
bcol01 wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:18 pm
You know, all the white privilege/shaming stuff going on these days. Should I be ashamed for choosing my own skin color?
Taking advantage of your privilege for self gain/profit is "shameful", using this privilege to benefit all sentient beings is not shameful.

BTW, when was the last time you were shamed for being white? I mean, really...

I'm all for examining one's privilege, economic, racial or otherwise. Honestly though there are some people in the US (usually millennials, but I've seen it in older sets) who are so irrational and reflexive about the whole thing that it's simply ridiculous.

The answer is, acknowledge whatever privilege you do or don't have, do what you can to support oppressed people, and refuse to play the silly guilt and means testing game they are advocating. Nine times out of ten it's more about scoring points than anything else. Most people I've met who bring up white privilege immediately in conversations out of nowhere are immature, and it's not worth socializing with them. If someone told me I should be ashamed for being white I'd tell them to go away. Ironically, the only people who have ever told me that are young, naive white people who have the privelege of going to college and immersing themselves in college-oriented identity politics.
His welcoming
& rebelling are scattered,
gone to their end,
do not exist.
Knowing the dustless, sorrowless state,
he discerns rightly,
has gone, beyond becoming,
to the Further Shore.

-Lokavipatti Sutta

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cyril
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by cyril » Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:58 pm

bcol01 wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:48 pm
Not sure how to respond to someone who tells me that I should be ashamed for being white.

But why would you care about what idiots think and say? They'll never be your friends, they'll never be part of your family, so why would you bother responding? :shrug:
"You have to make the good out of the bad because that is all you have got to make it out of."
- Robert Penn Warren -

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Queequeg
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by Queequeg » Tue Jun 25, 2019 8:05 pm

Grigoris wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:52 pm
bcol01 wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:48 pm
Today actually. Not sure how to respond to someone who tells me that I should be ashamed for being white.
Personally, I would just look at them like they are an idiot. But then, I am not afraid to get into a punch-up.
bcol, take some notes from Greg.

The proper response to someone trying to shame you for just being is to spin them around and give them a quick kick in the ass. Tell them, GTFO.

:rolling:
Those who, even with distracted minds,
Entered a stupa compound
And chanted but once, “Namo Buddhaya!”
Have certainly attained the path of the buddhas.

-Lotus Sutra, Expedient Means Chapter

There are beings with little dust in their eyes who are falling away because they do not hear the Dhamma. There will be those who will understand the Dhamma.
-Ayacana Sutta

Simon E.
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Re: When people shame me for beingrking class family white, what should I do?

Post by Simon E. » Tue Jun 25, 2019 8:06 pm

I might be tempted to say that I was born into a working class family in a poor part of town, raised by a single parent and shared the house with loads of relatives, who also shared a toilet in the yard, which was pretty fresh in the wintertime..and no bath...And then ask what privilege THAT conferred.
But I would probably not bother although all true.. :smile:
I know nothing. This is not false modesty.

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Queequeg
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Re: When people shame me for beingrking class family white, what should I do?

Post by Queequeg » Tue Jun 25, 2019 8:16 pm

Simon E. wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 8:06 pm
I might be tempted to say that I was born into a working class family in a poor part of town, raised by a single parent and shared the house with loads of relatives, who also shared a toilet in the yard, which was pretty fresh in the wintertime..and no bath...And then ask what privilege THAT conferred.
But I would probably not bother although all true.. :smile:
Oh, Simon, that's exactly what someone with White Privilege would say...

My Dad says similar things...

"Where's the privilege in walking to school uphill 10 miles through the snow, both ways?! Tell me!"

Before people get upset... joke alert.
Those who, even with distracted minds,
Entered a stupa compound
And chanted but once, “Namo Buddhaya!”
Have certainly attained the path of the buddhas.

-Lotus Sutra, Expedient Means Chapter

There are beings with little dust in their eyes who are falling away because they do not hear the Dhamma. There will be those who will understand the Dhamma.
-Ayacana Sutta

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rory
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by rory » Tue Jun 25, 2019 8:31 pm

I'm white and Jewish. I get all kinds of things easy because of it (I'm 60% Middle Eastern) and yet I've been scared and hated in France, Greece, Ireland, Britain, and New York City because of my ethnicity-religion. Anti-Semitism is over 2,000 years old. Life is complicated, don't fall into emotion, do your practice and cultivate compassion - the real kind where you meet people overcome with afflictions in every day life and make skillful choices in your relations with them.
gassho
Rory
Namu Kanzeon Bosatsu
Chih-I:
The Tai-ching states "the women in the realms of Mara, Sakra and Brahma all neither abandoned ( their old) bodies nor received (new) bodies. They all received buddhahood with their current bodies (genshin)" Thus these verses state that the dharma nature is like a great ocean. No right or wrong is preached (within it) Ordinary people and sages are equal, without superiority or inferiority
Paul, Groner "The Lotus Sutra in Japanese Culture"eds. Tanabe p. 58
https://www.tendai-usa.org/

Simon E.
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by Simon E. » Tue Jun 25, 2019 8:32 pm

You had SNOW? We couldn’t afford snow. We would have killed for snow. We had to walk 20 miles through molten lard...
I know nothing. This is not false modesty.

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seeker242
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by seeker242 » Tue Jun 25, 2019 8:40 pm

Say "OK" and then move on with your life. :D
One should not kill any living being, nor cause it to be killed, nor should one incite any other to kill. Do never injure any being, whether strong or weak, in this entire universe!

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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by KathyLauren » Tue Jun 25, 2019 8:43 pm

If you'd rather not use one of the rude or violent options suggested above, just acknowledge your white privilege. It is real, but it is not something to be ashamed of. It is just something to be applied skilfully. Say, "Yes, I acknowledge that I have benefited from white privilege, but I have done nothing to be ashamed of." Then walk away.

Om mani padme hum
Kathy

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KeithA
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by KeithA » Tue Jun 25, 2019 9:40 pm

bcol01 wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:18 pm
You know, all the white privilege/shaming stuff going on these days. Should I be ashamed for choosing my own skin color?
What other folks think of me is none of my business. :)

I acknowledge fully and without doubt, that my whiteness accords me privileges and treatment not afforded to non-white people in my particular culture (East Coast American). It is what it is. I hope that I can use my situation to make the world a better place, not a worse one.

_/|\_
Keith

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rory
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by rory » Tue Jun 25, 2019 10:43 pm

Here is a genuine reply that I am (sadly) sure will make those acquintances utterly avoid you:

"I agree; you need to make reparations now Give 25% of your spending money/income to historical black colleges and tribal colleges and universities."

gassho
Rory
Namu Kanzeon Bosatsu
Chih-I:
The Tai-ching states "the women in the realms of Mara, Sakra and Brahma all neither abandoned ( their old) bodies nor received (new) bodies. They all received buddhahood with their current bodies (genshin)" Thus these verses state that the dharma nature is like a great ocean. No right or wrong is preached (within it) Ordinary people and sages are equal, without superiority or inferiority
Paul, Groner "The Lotus Sutra in Japanese Culture"eds. Tanabe p. 58
https://www.tendai-usa.org/

Felasco
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by Felasco » Wed Jun 26, 2019 12:00 am

bcol01 wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:48 pm
Today actually. Not sure how to respond to someone who tells me that I should be ashamed for being white.
Have you tried giggling? Honestly, why take such statements seriously?

tkp67
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by tkp67 » Wed Jun 26, 2019 12:40 am

Personally I have a completely different take on the topic.

If someone behaves malignantly in regards to their fellow humanity it is a reflection of their mind and this is an opportunity for compassion. Perhaps if their delusion was powerful enough to permeate my mind I would react with repugnance but it is not. My joy of being is not based on external attachments and thus I feel nothing but deep compassion for those who do not enjoy the same condition, well at least on my good moments.

shaunc
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by shaunc » Wed Jun 26, 2019 1:14 am

Don't get caught up in flavor of the month. If they've got a problem with it, let them have a problem with it, and you just keep on living your life however you want.

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TharpaChodron
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Re: When people shame me for being white, what should I do?

Post by TharpaChodron » Wed Jun 26, 2019 1:38 am

There's a famous quote from the Buddha about how praise and blame have existed for as long as time and never ends. Ignore both blame and praise. In the relative world we live in, however, act with a Bodhisattva attitude of equanimity/compassion/patience etc to end injustice.

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