Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
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Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
After looking through some Tv shows and forums, I finally got to the point where I needed to find out why adultery and prostitution is bad. I always wondered , prositutes - they and I myself , we both agree to have sex and are ok with it ( there is no pain for us in the process ). We are not forcing the other to have sex with one another - perhaps if I call for a prositutiye , she would be happy to have sex with me , so do I. Is this okay regarding third precept ? I didn’t cause harm to anyone because she is willing to do it .
Also adultery , well I’m not really talking adultery , but another vswrsion of adultery. What if I have 5 wives , whom I love very much. They all love me too and are aware that I have 5 spouses and are totally fine with it. Suppose they become best friends too and we would often hang out in a group. We have sex at times one on one occasions and we are perfectly fine with it. Is that a violation of third precept? Again , I am not harming anyone feelings with having sex and going out with 5 girls.
I just feel that , imagine , a group of unique and maverick thinking people , who they break away from the social conditioning of the world , decides to reinvent culture and ethnics of their own. So like , being naked in streets is considered normal , scolding children and elders are considered equally bad or good depending on ones motivation eg.
I will say that my thinking is weird and out of the world. I am still a teenager, which means I reject social etiquettes and conditioning.
Also adultery , well I’m not really talking adultery , but another vswrsion of adultery. What if I have 5 wives , whom I love very much. They all love me too and are aware that I have 5 spouses and are totally fine with it. Suppose they become best friends too and we would often hang out in a group. We have sex at times one on one occasions and we are perfectly fine with it. Is that a violation of third precept? Again , I am not harming anyone feelings with having sex and going out with 5 girls.
I just feel that , imagine , a group of unique and maverick thinking people , who they break away from the social conditioning of the world , decides to reinvent culture and ethnics of their own. So like , being naked in streets is considered normal , scolding children and elders are considered equally bad or good depending on ones motivation eg.
I will say that my thinking is weird and out of the world. I am still a teenager, which means I reject social etiquettes and conditioning.
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Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
Do you think your mother would be happy if your father slept around with other women, and spent all the money on prostitutes ?
Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
If your partner believes you are in a monogamous relationship and you sleep with another that is lying.MatthewAngby wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 5:09 pm After looking through some Tv shows and forums, I finally got to the point where I needed to find out why adultery and prostitution is bad. I always wondered , prositutes - they and I myself , we both agree to have sex and are ok with it ( there is no pain for us in the process ). We are not forcing the other to have sex with one another - perhaps if I call for a prositutiye , she would be happy to have sex with me , so do I. Is this okay regarding third precept ? I didn’t cause harm to anyone because she is willing to do it .
Also adultery , well I’m not really talking adultery , but another vswrsion of adultery. What if I have 5 wives , whom I love very much. They all love me too and are aware that I have 5 spouses and are totally fine with it. Suppose they become best friends too and we would often hang out in a group. We have sex at times one on one occasions and we are perfectly fine with it. Is that a violation of third precept? Again , I am not harming anyone feelings with having sex and going out with 5 girls.
I just feel that , imagine , a group of unique and maverick thinking people , who they break away from the social conditioning of the world , decides to reinvent culture and ethnics of their own. So like , being naked in streets is considered normal , scolding children and elders are considered equally bad or good depending on ones motivation eg.
I will say that my thinking is weird and out of the world. I am still a teenager, which means I reject social etiquettes and conditioning.
If you sleep with another who has a partner that believes they are in a monogamous relationship that is sexual misconduct.
Prostitution is debatable, apparently some think it is fine and others don't. From what I've read on here is that most believe that you are taking advantage of another in a shitty position, because no one of a sound mind wants to sell their bodies... it's usually one's last resort and you will probably harm them mentally and/or emotionally. Typically the prostitution community is afflicted with abuse and addiction, so this is not something Dharma practitioners should support.
As far as I know the Buddha never put a limit on the number of partners one can have.
If you want to have a bunch of sex then I suggest learning how to lucid dream (so you can have dream sex) so you can protect yourself and others from unforeseen consequences that can be caused by sex (STDs or STIs, unwanted pregnancies, hurt feelings, etc etc).
I suggest finding a compatible partner with strong relative Bodhicitta and a history of sustained Dharma practice (at least).
Good luck and be safe!
To become a rain man one must master the ten virtues and sciences.
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Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
Adultery is bad because of consent. By definition, when you commit adultery, there is someone in the relationship (typically your spouse/significant other) who did not consent to the relationship in that manner, and it causes harm.
Polyamory is a different case altogether. If there is mutual consent and awareness all around, it would not be considered sexual misconduct under most guidelines (provided that the cultural environs does not cause trouble).
Prostitution is bad, also because of consent. In a perfect world, prostitution would be a choice, but that is not the world we live in.. and in the vast majority of circumstances worldwide, prostitution is an act of desperation at best, slavery at worst.
Polyamory is a different case altogether. If there is mutual consent and awareness all around, it would not be considered sexual misconduct under most guidelines (provided that the cultural environs does not cause trouble).
Prostitution is bad, also because of consent. In a perfect world, prostitution would be a choice, but that is not the world we live in.. and in the vast majority of circumstances worldwide, prostitution is an act of desperation at best, slavery at worst.
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Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
In our fantasy all is so perfect, you can really have "fun". All is perfect, even bad guys become good guys, we have everything...
But in objective reality, you may be disapointed if you think it will be like in your fantasy.
Behind prostitution there is deep misery (i don't speak of some completly annecdotical exemples, i speak generally).
I am not judging. It's just being aware. Some people say they "have fun" and doing that "because they want it". Don't buy that. Don't be naive.
When i eat meat, i'm aware also i contribute to an industry which is very negative. But i eat some meat because i feel i need it. But i don't fantasize considering animals are having fun all their life before bowing to my plates. Then slowly, i turn to other foods and try to give something good to the animals through my consciousness when i take meat.
Behing adultery there is very deep pain.
Of course, when someone want to do something, he will find a justification. Everything can be justified. Everyone is right from his own point of view.
But if you are honest with yourself, and are not desillusioned with emotional projection, you will know if something is good or not. Just take yourself as an exemple.
Excuse me for the violent exemple, but would you like your mother to be a prostitute ? Well, why would it be appreciable for another woman ?
You are with a girlfriend and she does adultry. Would you feel respected ? Loved ? Well, if both of you set up "special rules" that would be different, but agin, i speak generally.
So, just reflect, answers are quiet obvious.
When we try to turn around a rules to make it justify our desires, generally, we want to do shit, and we find something to justify it. And we look for someone to tell us what we want to do so that we don't take responsability for our actions.
Sorry for being quiet direct.
The exemple you give are from the fantasy world. But if i am wrong, cool for you.
But in objective reality, you may be disapointed if you think it will be like in your fantasy.
Behind prostitution there is deep misery (i don't speak of some completly annecdotical exemples, i speak generally).
I am not judging. It's just being aware. Some people say they "have fun" and doing that "because they want it". Don't buy that. Don't be naive.
When i eat meat, i'm aware also i contribute to an industry which is very negative. But i eat some meat because i feel i need it. But i don't fantasize considering animals are having fun all their life before bowing to my plates. Then slowly, i turn to other foods and try to give something good to the animals through my consciousness when i take meat.
Behing adultery there is very deep pain.
Of course, when someone want to do something, he will find a justification. Everything can be justified. Everyone is right from his own point of view.
But if you are honest with yourself, and are not desillusioned with emotional projection, you will know if something is good or not. Just take yourself as an exemple.
Excuse me for the violent exemple, but would you like your mother to be a prostitute ? Well, why would it be appreciable for another woman ?
You are with a girlfriend and she does adultry. Would you feel respected ? Loved ? Well, if both of you set up "special rules" that would be different, but agin, i speak generally.
So, just reflect, answers are quiet obvious.
When we try to turn around a rules to make it justify our desires, generally, we want to do shit, and we find something to justify it. And we look for someone to tell us what we want to do so that we don't take responsability for our actions.
Sorry for being quiet direct.
The exemple you give are from the fantasy world. But if i am wrong, cool for you.
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Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
Sentient Light wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 6:02 pm Adultery is bad because of consent. By definition, when you commit adultery, there is someone in the relationship (typically your spouse/significant other) who did not consent to the relationship in that manner, and it causes harm.
Polyamory is a different case altogether. If there is mutual consent and awareness all around, it would not be considered sexual misconduct under most guidelines (provided that the cultural environs does not cause trouble).
Prostitution is bad, also because of consent. In a perfect world, prostitution would be a choice, but that is not the world we live in.. and in the vast majority of circumstances worldwide, prostitution is an act of desperation at best, slavery at worst.
Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
In Buddhism all sexual acts are unwholesome, doesn't matter if its with one's wife or with a prostitute you found on a street corner. But neither of those break the precept of sexual misconduct for lay followers. Adultery on the other hand does break it.
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Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
Then why is it prohibited for monks?
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Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
Ricky is talking about the Buddha's buddhism from the pali...
Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
If one, longing for sensual pleasure,
achieves it, yes,
he's enraptured at heart.
The mortal gets what he wants.
But if for that person
— longing, desiring —
the pleasures diminish,
he's shattered,
as if shot with an arrow.
Whoever avoids sensual desires
— as he would, with his foot,
the head of a snake —
goes beyond, mindful,
this attachment in the world.
A man who is greedy
for fields, land, gold,
cattle, horses,
servants, employees,
women, relatives,
many sensual pleasures,
is overpowered with weakness
and trampled by trouble,
for pain invades him
as water, a cracked boat.
So one, always mindful,
should avoid sensual desires.
Letting them go,
he'd cross over the flood
like one who, having bailed out the boat,
has reached the far shore.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .than.html
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Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
This is a hinayana teaching. In the Mahayana sex is not unwholesome.
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Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
Because it is a distraction from the path. That doesn't make it naturally unwholesome, though. See the ten unwholesome deeds for what is actually unwholesome. One of those is sexual misconduct, but not sex itself.
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Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
There is a subtle distinction between unwholesome deeds and deeds which are conducive to the path. Sex, alcohol, music, etc. would be things that would be advised to abstain from, but they are not naturally unwholesome. That is to say, if you don't have a particular vow to refrain from these things, there's nothing wrong in engaging in them. If you do have a vow, then you are breaking a vow by engaging in it, which is a problem.Ricky wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:04 pmIf one, longing for sensual pleasure,
achieves it, yes,
he's enraptured at heart.
The mortal gets what he wants.
But if for that person
— longing, desiring —
the pleasures diminish,
he's shattered,
as if shot with an arrow.
Whoever avoids sensual desires
— as he would, with his foot,
the head of a snake —
goes beyond, mindful,
this attachment in the world.
A man who is greedy
for fields, land, gold,
cattle, horses,
servants, employees,
women, relatives,
many sensual pleasures,
is overpowered with weakness
and trampled by trouble,
for pain invades him
as water, a cracked boat.
So one, always mindful,
should avoid sensual desires.
Letting them go,
he'd cross over the flood
like one who, having bailed out the boat,
has reached the far shore.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .than.html
Last edited by Thomas Amundsen on Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
This makes zero sense. Mahayana encompasses the earlier teachings as well.Tiago Simões wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:30 pmThis is a hinayana teaching. In the Mahayana sex is not unwholesome.
Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
Motova wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 5:39 pm If your partner believes you are in a monogamous relationship and you sleep with another that is lying.
If you sleep with another who has a partner that believes they are in a monogamous relationship that is sexual misconduct.
Prostitution is debatable, apparently some think it is fine and others don't. From what I've read on here is that most believe that you are taking advantage of another in a shitty position, because no one of a sound mind wants to sell their bodies... it's usually one's last resort and you will probably harm them mentally and/or emotionally. Typically the prostitution community is afflicted with abuse and addiction, so this is not something Dharma practitioners should support.
That about covers it.Sentient Light wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 6:02 pm Adultery is bad because of consent. By definition, when you commit adultery, there is someone in the relationship (typically your spouse/significant other) who did not consent to the relationship in that manner, and it causes harm.
Polyamory is a different case altogether. If there is mutual consent and awareness all around, it would not be considered sexual misconduct under most guidelines (provided that the cultural environs does not cause trouble).
Prostitution is bad, also because of consent. In a perfect world, prostitution would be a choice, but that is not the world we live in.. and in the vast majority of circumstances worldwide, prostitution is an act of desperation at best, slavery at worst.
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
Here we go again...Ricky wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:36 pmThis makes zero sense. Mahayana encompasses the earlier teachings as well.Tiago Simões wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:30 pmThis is a hinayana teaching. In the Mahayana sex is not unwholesome.
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
-Guanding, Perfect and Sudden Contemplation,
Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
All sensual desires are unwholesome since they are a roadblock for those who want to achieve more than stream entry.Thomas Amundsen wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:36 pm
There is a subtle distinction between unwholesome deeds and deeds which are conducive to the path. Sex, alcohol, music, etc. would be things that would be advised to abstain from, but they are not naturally unwholesome. That is to say, if you don't have a particular vow to refrain from these things, there's nothing wrong in engaging in them. If you do have a vow, then you are breaking a vow by engaging in it, which is a problem.
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Re: Why is adultery and prostitution bad?
It doesn't actually, you see Hinayana is a path of renunciation, the method is to renounce Samsaric entanglement. In the Mahayana the method is to perfect the Prajñā, wisdom. Renunciation of course has a place in Mahayana practice but it is seen has provisional.Ricky wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:36 pmThis makes zero sense. Mahayana encompasses the earlier teachings as well.Tiago Simões wrote: ↑Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:30 pmThis is a hinayana teaching. In the Mahayana sex is not unwholesome.