Spirit harm

[omnifriend]

I practice metta and mindfulness and have increased my practice time in the past 2 weeks to about 20 minutes of metta and 30 minutes of mindfulness of in and out breathing. I am now unable to think wholesome thoughts without an accompanying headache. The more wholesome thoughts I think the worse the pressure on the right side of my brain gets. 20 minutes of metta meditation makes me symptomatic as I have schizophrenia. Does anyone have experience with this type of psychic handicap.

[Simon E.]

I think you should try to find a flesh and blood teacher omnifriend. I see that you introduced yourself as a Theravadin practitioner. Perhaps you could enquire about any Theravadin monastics that speak English in your area?

In the meantime I wonder whether you are trying too hard. The headaches suggest to me that you are straining yourself to think certain things, and perhaps to not think other things?

One of the important things to learn about any form of meditation is that we need a balance..not trying too hard on the one hand and not being too relaxed on the other. We need to find the right degree of alertness..which sometimes takes a bit of trial and error.
If you find yourself tensing up you have gone too far one way.
If you fall asleep you have gone too far the other way.
The Buddha said that we should aim to be like the string on a musical instrument..not too tight nor too slack.
If you can talk to someone in the flesh it makes all this much easier than discussion on a forum.

[Grigoris]

I practice metta and mindfulness and have increased my practice time in the past 2 weeks to about 20 minutes of metta and 30 minutes of mindfulness of in and out breathing. I am now unable to think wholesome thoughts without an accompanying headache. The more wholesome thoughts I think the worse the pressure on the right side of my brain gets. 20 minutes of metta meditation makes me symptomatic as I have schizophrenia. Does anyone have experience with this type of psychic handicap.

My advice would be to NOT do 20 minutes of metta meditation. If it is triggering your mental health condition, you should avoid it.

Having said that, I do not think that it is the wholesome thoughts that are the problem, but the amount of thinking and effort that you put into thinking.

Simon is right though: go find a teacher and talk about the problem.

But in the meantime please avoid the behaviour that is causing the problem.

That's my advice as a psychologist and (weak and bad) practitioner.

[Vasana]

The above advice is good. Focus on extensive relaxation before the practice of metta. As Grigoris said, it's more likely the ammount of effort you're putting in to the thoughts /feelings rather than the content of the thoughts/feelings . If your jaw, brow , eyes ,or body in general is tense then this can sometimes indicate over-exertion among other things.

The Parable of the Lute:

The Buddha answered, "Tell me Sona, in earlier days, were you not skilled in playing the stringed music of the lute?"

"Yes Lord" replied Sona.

"And, tell me, Sona, when the strings on the lute were too taut, was then your lute tuneful and easily playable?"

"Certainly not, O Lord."

"And when the strings on the lute were too loose, was then your lute tuneful and easily playable?"

"Certainly not, O Lord."

"But when, Sona, the strings of your lute were neither too taut nor too loose, and adjusted to an even pitch, did your lute then have a wonderful sound, and then was it easily playable?"

"Certainly, O Lord."

"Similarly Sona, if energy is applied too strongly, it will lead to restlessness, and if energy is too lax, it will lead to lassitude. Therefore Sona, keep your energy in balance and balance the Spiritual Faculties and in this way focus your attention."

[omnifriend]

I think it is over exertion. Thank you all

[SunWuKong]

Online, I have been a friend and confidante of a person who has severe paranoid schizophrenia, for several years. He went through exactly the thing you are describing, with the addition of accusing voices inside his head. We usually chatted until he calmed down, but he went through a lot.

While there are forms of mindfulness meditation that focus and concentrate the mind, it’s also possible to do the opposite. Nothing special, just suchness in and of itself

I’m assuming you have adequate mental health care for your condition, if not, I’d encourage it. If you are looking for a meditation teacher, try to find one experienced in teaching people such as yourself

Gassho

[DiamondMeru]

I too suffer from mental illness or paranoia, delusions, and great anxiety. I found that chanting the Green Tara Manta is especially helpful for protection from spirit harm, and for organizing disorganized thoughts. She is a very loving and protective deity that makes her presence known with love and feelings of elation. I would recommend chanting for as long as you can stand it: Om Tare Tutare Ture Soha. The mantra chant can be found on You tube.
I also use crystal therapy which is new age but works for me. A black or dark quartz crystal can remove spirit attatchments if you cleanse it by picturing white light around it, then empowering it with the intention of removing any negative attachments by picturing the crystal absorbing the negative energies around you. You can move it over in a sweeping motion over the spot of tension and say out loud or to yourself "Spirit harm be gone you are banished from this place!" Then seal the area by picturing blue protective light over the area of tension or pain. Then cleanse the crystal by burying it in salt for a day and running it under tap water.
If this is to far out for you I apologize, but it honestly works for me.
Lisa