Something similar happened with me with the first Tibetan lama I took refuge with. I was extremely verbally abused growing up (after 13) and would sometimes have negative and sometimes violent images arising in my mind. So this happened in the teaching just after I took refuge with this lama. After a short time, the lama looked right at me and so did the translating khenpo. I was embarrassed and began immediately thinking little stuff like "may his feet be warm", "may he be free of all harm", "may his food be delicious", etc. Doing this I was able to concentrate on the teaching and cause these images to abate. This kind of thing has never happened since - ie. negative imagery arising in my mind was no more from when I awoke the next day, and I also was enveloped in a kind of euphoria that lasted about three days, similar to the effects of leaving a long term Zen retreat but more intense.narraboth wrote: Moreover, when I was in the teaching of one of them, crazy ideas start to jump up in my head such as 'he looks old' 'his face is ....' I didn't really think that way, but it's like it just appeared in my mind, and the more I tried to surpress them the more they come up.
I was worried and upset, I asked another great lama, recently passed Karma Chagmed rinpoche. I said I was scared that I was breaking samaya. He answered me with great kindness: it's not a big problem, it's just because of some karma. Practice refuge and it will be fine.
Now I don't have that problem anymore. When I think of the two lama, I feel gratitude for their kindness and I rejoice my good luck to have met them.