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Low self esteem

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
by Miroku
Hello there,

what practice would you recommed for someone who has to deal with low self esteem? Would tara or chenrezig be okay?
Recently I have been going through quite a rough time thanks to school and low finances that are even more depleted by my dentist and etc. I try to deal with it, but low self esteem and that voice that constantly tells me how much I suck don't help much. :D So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?

Re: Low self esteem

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:55 am
by Grigoris
Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
Hello there,

what practice would you recommed for someone who has to deal with low self esteem? Would tara or chenrezig be okay?
Recently I have been going through quite a rough time thanks to school and low finances that are even more depleted by my dentist and etc. I try to deal with it, but low self esteem and that voice that constantly tells me how much I suck don't help much. :D So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
Try to find the "self" that "sucks".

Re: Low self esteem

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 12:32 pm
by kirtu
Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
Hello there,

what practice would you recommed for someone who has to deal with low self esteem? Would tara or chenrezig be okay?
Recently I have been going through quite a rough time thanks to school and low finances that are even more depleted by my dentist and etc. I try to deal with it, but low self esteem and that voice that constantly tells me how much I suck don't help much. :D So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
People have a lot of this. On the one hand much of this is generated because of ego grasping. OTOH for many people there are real problems under the surface (so it's not simplistically ego grasping alone).

Tara would be good but it depends on you. Different people with respond to blessings from the deities differently. That's why we have innumerable deity practices even though ultimately all the deities are the same.

Kirt

Re: Low self esteem

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:45 pm
by Losal Samten
Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
Bodhicitta helps remove one's incessant focus on oneself('s problems).

Re: Low self esteem

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 4:25 pm
by Vasana
Contemplating the precious human rebirth and it's determining factors can be a method of shifting the attention away from ideas of your personal worth or qualities towards seeing the qualities you already possess to have met and kept an interest in the Dharma. Recognise the probability of meeting and then following the teachings is relatively low globally. Recognizing any and all of the progress you've already made, skills you've learnt and the positive qualities you possess and are developing can help you remember the good stuff, both the worldy and the dharma. Recognize any negative self talk and replace it with realistic self talk - " I am learning, I am healing, I am capable" etc.

Tonglen can help you develop compassion for all beings who are also experiencing a similar suffering due to low self esteem. It can also help you develop compassion for yourself. Pema Chodron advises a basic minimum version of tonglen is to simply remember that "other people feel this too" , the moment you experience any sadness or suffering due to low self esteem or any other kind of suffering. That way, when those feelings arise, you're in tune with suffering and the roots of compassion but it's not so fixed on yourself or on one point or one being.

I imagine Tara helps too since low self esteem may be related with hope and fear.

Re: Low self esteem

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 4:53 pm
by Monlam Tharchin
Losal Samten wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 3:45 pm
Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
Bodhicitta helps remove one's incessant focus on oneself('s problems).
:thumbsup:

Instead of others needing to support ever-changing ideas of what makes me good, bodhicitta is like the quiet confidence of a mother caring for her child, full of love.

Re: Low self esteem

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 5:17 pm
by Terma
Lojong and tonglen are great antidotes.

Never forget that you are also a suffering being so you need to have great compassion for yourself as well!

:consoling:

Re: Low self esteem

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 5:22 pm
by cyril
Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:30 am
Hello there,

what practice would you recommed for someone who has to deal with low self esteem? Would tara or chenrezig be okay?
Recently I have been going through quite a rough time thanks to school and low finances that are even more depleted by my dentist and etc. I try to deal with it, but low self esteem and that voice that constantly tells me how much I suck don't help much. :D So is there sth, that would help with changing this pattern or at least help weaken it?
Based on my own experience, I'd put my money on Tara. If you have received transmission from ChNN Rinpoche, you might want to add the 21st action mantra to strengthen the la and to repel negativity. Low self-esteem weakens the protective energy which can down-spiral into further problems.

Re: Low self esteem

Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2017 6:44 pm
by tranides
Chod is also great as it directly works with ego clinging (and its also very melodic and with beautifull visualosation practice).

regards,
Luke