Tenma wrote: ↑Fri Dec 15, 2017 6:30 pm
Vasana wrote: ↑Fri Dec 15, 2017 9:28 am
Tenma wrote: ↑Fri Dec 15, 2017 4:58 am
Feelings and practice experiences come ago. When it comes to our feelings in regards to the dharma and practice, what makes you 100%
certain that
every single instance of the arising of a feeling is any more a reliable indication than our regular feelings of attachmemt, aversion, ignorance, joy, sorrow, hope & fear?
Sure, certain practices under certain circumstances will yeild certain signs but you need a very strong degree of discernment to determine if you are just superimposing your own samsaric feelings onto practice/post-practice and lableing them as signs of practice. Many people feel happy and joyful after practice. That doesn't necessarily mean that that feeling is a sign of the practice per-se - it could just be the kind of happiness you get when you do something you know is good for you. It could be the feeling of rejoicing. It could be the simple intoxication that accompanies the 'honey-moon' period of Dharma practice that you're clearly in. Sooner or later, Tenma, the esoteric /occultish honeymoon will end ( or the supernatural fixation will intensify until
real difficulties emerge from it) and it will then sink in for you that the 'real' dharma practice is renouncing, transforming or self-liberating dualistic thought and affliction. Sooner or later you will realise that you will have to live with your afflictions and ego under the painful conditons of samsara and the degenerate age until you are liberated. Only then will you perhaps think to get your Dharma priorities of study and practice in the order that is most skillfull for your circumstances. Real practice will mean increasingly seeing and smelling your own bullshit more clearly so prepare yourself for that in advance.
As for headaches and other pains - the same applies. Sometimes when I sit, my right foot and leg will feel uncomfortable and I'll feel fidgety. Or at other times, the eustacian tube that connects the ear to the throat will be inflamed and my hearing in one ear will become muffled. I could take these as signs of practice or I could see that they're just arising due to a confluence of multiple conditions.
Ignorance is also 'cunning' in that it is 'skilled' in making us ignorant of questioning what we take as certain to be true and completely ignorant to what we havn't even considered we don't know In other words, there are things we dont know and things we dont even know that we don't know. Remembering the latter category can be a sobering reminder not to be too sure about all these 'facts' we're so sure about.
Is feeling suicidal an effect? That did happen before a few times with Vajrasattva with the idea that occurred in my mind "what's the point of life? It's all a delusion, so is this body. Why should I live? I don't see any reason to live." Perhaps that's good sign that doesn't see like so(not that I should try!), or another form of ignorance? If all these signs are forms of ignorance including those of bodhicitta, then what is "true?" Sarasvati, Vajrasattva, Tara, Palden Lhamo, my root guru all give some feeling that all seems good, but are forms of ignorance? What is "truth" then?
Well, have you ever felt suicidal outside of practice? If so, then I doubt it is the result of practice although at some points along the path, fluctuations in mood can occur. If you're familiar with the teachings on karma you would know that suicide doesn't result in annihilation or nothingness so samsara is not in anyway escaped or made more bearable through it.
Have you read teachings on the precious human rebirth, Tenma? Your thoughts regarding the pointlessness of living are not congruent with what the Buddha taught or past and present masters actually teach.
If you have problems with depression and suicidal thoughts, relying solely on Vajrayana when you're not fully rooted in common mahayana thought might prove challenging. It would be great if you sought out advice concerning low moods or suicidal thoughts from councillors or health care practioners or at least did some reading up about causes and methods for dealing with various moods.
You're still very young. In puberty...there's very little mental or hormonal stability at your age, I remember it. Not to mention the new challenges and pressures of being a teenager in today's world of social media and information overload...It's harder than ever being a teenager so please recognize the stresses of your age and go easy on yourself and the more complex aspects of Dharma. Be sure to seek out and listen to the advice of those here who also met the dharma or Vajrayana at a young age to see what they learnt from their experience.
I never said feeling bodhichitta was a sign of ignorance. Nor did i outright dismiss all positive feelings as useless either. I was simply highlighting that the criteria for what is genuine experience or an actual sign from practice can vary dependant on where you are in your practice, mindset, level of physical health, mental tendencies, study of new dharma concepts, past karmic connections etc. Please don't think that feelings like joy, bodhichitta or inspiration are all ignorance. That's not what I meant. It's just that our joy can be dharmic or samsaric and it's easy to confuse the latter for the former or blend the two without noticing.
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P.s - since there is discussion on it, some Tara practices do not require lung although it's advantageous.