What's the point of abusive gurus?

Forum for discussion of Tibetan Buddhism. Questions specific to one school are best posted in the appropriate sub-forum.
User avatar
yagmort
Posts: 674
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:18 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by yagmort »

Simon E. wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:05 pm...I think we need to be very careful that this does not become another reason to blame to victim...
yes i should have mentioned it myself. all what i said is not to blame neurotic people in a slightest.
i wish all to be at peace with everything and be happy, so to me neurotic people are very troubled and it's pain to see how they oftentimes struggle to find peace because of their unhealed wounds. i just wish that more western vajrayana practitioners, both healthy and traumatised alike, be more aware of this problem. just like weitsicht i too believe that this is probably the only stark difference between western students and tibetans which had been puzzling me for a long time. why do western buddhism followers almost always look so uptight and filled with so much self-concern meanwhile tibetans are almost always smiley and seem like not giving a slightest damn they follow a spiritiual tradition where "giving birth to the heart of sadness" regarded as one of the venerated achievement? it would be nice more westerners will realise they have a deeper problem to be solved before jumping in a vajrayana ocean.
stay open, spread love
haha
Posts: 562
Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 3:30 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by haha »

Jeff H wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 4:33 pm
In Lam Rim Chenmo, v.1, p.86, Tsongkhapa wrote: Question: We must practice in accordance with the guru’s words. Then what if we rely on the gurus and they lead us to an incorrect path or employ us in activities that are contrary to the three vows? Should we do what they say?

Reply: With respect to this, Gunaprabha’s Sutra on the Discipline states, “If the abbot instructs you to do what is not in accord with the teachings, refuse.” Also, the Cloud of Jewels Sutra says, “With respect to virtue act in accord with the gurus’ words, but do not act in accord with the gurus’ words with respect to non-virtue.” Therefore, you must not listen to non-virtuous instructions. The twelfth birth story clearly gives the meaning of not engaging in what is improper.*

However, it is improper to take the gurus’ wrong actions as a reason for subsequent misbehavior such as disrespecting, reproaching, or despising the gurus. Rather, excuse yourself politely, and do not engage in what you were instructed to do. The Fifty Verses on the Guru, “If you cannot reasonably do as the guru has instructed, / Excuse yourself with soothing words.”
*The twelfth birth story tells of when the Buddha had been a brahmin and his teacher tested the students by telling them he had financial difficulties and that when that happens to a brahmin it is virtuous to steal because all of creation is Brahma’s. All the students went and stole except the Buddha’s former self who said this teaching just didn’t seem right in view of all the general teachings. The teacher was very pleased with him.
Excellent!

But there are some statements in mahanana sutra which may be a factor to people could act in such manner.
The Vimalakirti Sutra:
Then the Licchavi Vimalakirti said to the patriarch Mahakasyapa, "Reverend Mahakasyapa, the Maras who play the devil in the innumerable universes of the ten directions are all bodhisattvas dwelling in the inconceivable liberation, who are playing the devil in order to develop living beings through their skill in liberative technique. Reverend Mahakasyapa, all the miserable beggars who come to the bodhisattvas of the innumerable universes of the ten directions to ask for a hand, a foot, an ear, a nose, some blood, muscles, bones, marrow, an eye, a torso, a head, a limb, a member, a throne, a kingdom, a country, a wife, a son, a daughter, a slave, a slave-girl, a horse, an elephant, a chariot, a cart, gold, silver, jewels, pearls, conches, crystal, coral, beryl, treasures, food, drink, elixirs, and clothes - these demanding beggars are usually bodhisattvas living in the inconceivable liberation who, through their skill in liberative technique, wish to test and thus demonstrate the firmness of the high resolve of the bodhisattvas. Why? Reverend Mahakasyapa, the bodhisattvas demonstrate that firmness by means of terrible austerities. Ordinary persons have no power to be thus demanding of bodhisattvas, unless they are granted the opportunity. They are not capable of killing and depriving in that manner without being freely given the chance.
Malcolm
Posts: 42974
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:19 am

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Malcolm »

Crazywisdom wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:13 am The topic is loaded question. Like, why do you abuse your wife? There is room for a guru to make you feel bad, confuse you, impeach you...
The thing is, Nathan, is that there is flaw in the way the narrative of guru devotion is being communicated, and that leads to serious abuse of students by putative teachers of Buddhadharma, and mistaken defenses of these teacher's actions. This has nothing to do with Mahāmudra, etc.
Malcolm
Posts: 42974
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:19 am

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Malcolm »

haha wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 4:56 pm

But there are some statements in mahanana sutra which may be a factor to people could act in such manner.
The Vimalakirti Sutra:
Then the Licchavi Vimalakirti said to the patriarch Mahakasyapa, "Reverend Mahakasyapa, the Maras who play the devil in the innumerable universes of the ten directions are all bodhisattvas dwelling in the inconceivable liberation, who are playing the devil in order to develop living beings through their skill in liberative technique. Reverend Mahakasyapa, all the miserable beggars who come to the bodhisattvas of the innumerable universes of the ten directions to ask for a hand, a foot, an ear, a nose, some blood, muscles, bones, marrow, an eye, a torso, a head, a limb, a member, a throne, a kingdom, a country, a wife, a son, a daughter, a slave, a slave-girl, a horse, an elephant, a chariot, a cart, gold, silver, jewels, pearls, conches, crystal, coral, beryl, treasures, food, drink, elixirs, and clothes - these demanding beggars are usually bodhisattvas living in the inconceivable liberation who, through their skill in liberative technique, wish to test and thus demonstrate the firmness of the high resolve of the bodhisattvas. Why? Reverend Mahakasyapa, the bodhisattvas demonstrate that firmness by means of terrible austerities. Ordinary persons have no power to be thus demanding of bodhisattvas, unless they are granted the opportunity. They are not capable of killing and depriving in that manner without being freely given the chance.
These bodhisattvas are bodhisattvas on the stages, not ordinary people.
Malcolm
Posts: 42974
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:19 am

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Malcolm »

haha wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:22 pm
Be careful at the beginning , because once the relationship has been established nothing can be changed unless the guru gives you permission to no longer regard him as your guru. Once the relationship has been formed there is no heavier karma than giving up the guru, renouncing the guru as an object of devotion. It is a much heavier negative karma than committing the five uninterrupted negative actions. Among all heavy karmas, this is the heaviest.
This is only valid in the case of a guru who has not betrayed the fundamental terms of the relationship, putting the benefit of students above their own. It does not apply at all to someone from whom one has never received any empowerments.
haha
Posts: 562
Joined: Thu May 23, 2013 3:30 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by haha »

Malcolm wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:25 pm
These bodhisattvas are bodhisattvas on the stages, not ordinary people.
Yes, indeed. There is no disagreement.
Malcolm
Posts: 42974
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:19 am

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Malcolm »

We have to be clear about what we’re going to do at the very beginning so that there will be no problems or confusion later.
The problem with this statement by Lama Zopa is that there is no certifying authority for gurus, and it is extremely hard for people, when they are beginners, to actually be able to tell who is a valid guru and who is a charlatan.
Natan
Posts: 3685
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 5:48 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Natan »

Malcolm wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:23 pm
Crazywisdom wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:13 am The topic is loaded question. Like, why do you abuse your wife? There is room for a guru to make you feel bad, confuse you, impeach you...
The thing is, Nathan, is that there is flaw in the way the narrative of guru devotion is being communicated, and that leads to serious abuse of students by putative teachers of Buddhadharma, and mistaken defenses of these teacher's actions. This has nothing to do with Mahāmudra, etc.
In that case, the tantras make things pretty clear: teacher w lineage gives ritual; if actual consort is not possible, visualize; go accumulate 10 mil mantras. Perhaps if there’s a particularly advanced mantrin who’s nut won’t crack, some secret extreme measures have to go on w the client’s consent.
Vajra fangs deliver vajra venom to your Mara body.
Malcolm
Posts: 42974
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:19 am

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Malcolm »

Crazywisdom wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:33 pm
Malcolm wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 5:23 pm
Crazywisdom wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 10:13 am The topic is loaded question. Like, why do you abuse your wife? There is room for a guru to make you feel bad, confuse you, impeach you...
The thing is, Nathan, is that there is flaw in the way the narrative of guru devotion is being communicated, and that leads to serious abuse of students by putative teachers of Buddhadharma, and mistaken defenses of these teacher's actions. This has nothing to do with Mahāmudra, etc.
In that case, the tantras make things pretty clear: teacher w lineage gives ritual; if actual consort is not possible, visualize; go accumulate 10 mil mantras. Perhaps if there’s a particularly advanced mantrin who’s nut won’t crack, some secret extreme measures have to go on w the client’s consent.
The point of abuse comes when unrealized gurus lacking experience and realization take advantage of the "unconventional" behavior clause, and rather than acting with spontaneous conduct, act out of rampant defilements aggravated by their position over vulnerable students.
jet.urgyen
Posts: 2753
Joined: Sun Jan 01, 2017 12:29 am

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by jet.urgyen »

haha wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 4:56 pm
Jeff H wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 4:33 pm
In Lam Rim Chenmo, v.1, p.86, Tsongkhapa wrote: Question: We must practice in accordance with the guru’s words. Then what if we rely on the gurus and they lead us to an incorrect path or employ us in activities that are contrary to the three vows? Should we do what they say?

Reply: With respect to this, Gunaprabha’s Sutra on the Discipline states, “If the abbot instructs you to do what is not in accord with the teachings, refuse.” Also, the Cloud of Jewels Sutra says, “With respect to virtue act in accord with the gurus’ words, but do not act in accord with the gurus’ words with respect to non-virtue.” Therefore, you must not listen to non-virtuous instructions. The twelfth birth story clearly gives the meaning of not engaging in what is improper.*

However, it is improper to take the gurus’ wrong actions as a reason for subsequent misbehavior such as disrespecting, reproaching, or despising the gurus. Rather, excuse yourself politely, and do not engage in what you were instructed to do. The Fifty Verses on the Guru, “If you cannot reasonably do as the guru has instructed, / Excuse yourself with soothing words.”
*The twelfth birth story tells of when the Buddha had been a brahmin and his teacher tested the students by telling them he had financial difficulties and that when that happens to a brahmin it is virtuous to steal because all of creation is Brahma’s. All the students went and stole except the Buddha’s former self who said this teaching just didn’t seem right in view of all the general teachings. The teacher was very pleased with him.
Excellent!

But there are some statements in mahanana sutra which may be a factor to people could act in such manner.
The Vimalakirti Sutra:
Then the Licchavi Vimalakirti said to the patriarch Mahakasyapa, "Reverend Mahakasyapa, the Maras who play the devil in the innumerable universes of the ten directions are all bodhisattvas dwelling in the inconceivable liberation, who are playing the devil in order to develop living beings through their skill in liberative technique. Reverend Mahakasyapa, all the miserable beggars who come to the bodhisattvas of the innumerable universes of the ten directions to ask for a hand, a foot, an ear, a nose, some blood, muscles, bones, marrow, an eye, a torso, a head, a limb, a member, a throne, a kingdom, a country, a wife, a son, a daughter, a slave, a slave-girl, a horse, an elephant, a chariot, a cart, gold, silver, jewels, pearls, conches, crystal, coral, beryl, treasures, food, drink, elixirs, and clothes - these demanding beggars are usually bodhisattvas living in the inconceivable liberation who, through their skill in liberative technique, wish to test and thus demonstrate the firmness of the high resolve of the bodhisattvas. Why? Reverend Mahakasyapa, the bodhisattvas demonstrate that firmness by means of terrible austerities. Ordinary persons have no power to be thus demanding of bodhisattvas, unless they are granted the opportunity. They are not capable of killing and depriving in that manner without being freely given the chance.
such boddhisatvas are testing (other boddhisatvas), not teaching.

btw, how a boddhisatva that is dwelling in the inconceivable liberation could be recognized as it is? would they be famous?
true dharma is inexpressible.

The bodhisattva nourishes from bodhicitta, through whatever method the Buddha has given him. Oh joy.
User avatar
Quay
Posts: 340
Joined: Mon May 16, 2016 6:07 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Quay »

yagmort wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 4:42 pm ...why do western buddhism followers almost always look so uptight and filled with so much self-concern meanwhile tibetans are almost always smiley and seem like not giving a slightest damn....
In many cases it's because appearances are just that, appearances. Just like charlatans can act like saints people who always smile may be doing it only with their face. Likewise someone looking uptight might be worried about doing the right thing in a sangha or be worrying over giving some kind of cultural offense. Or of course they are thinking of something else that is pressing on them, like making a car payment or if they should ask out the person sitting next to them.

Who can really say what is going on in someone else's mind? Especially as regards motivation?

It's hard enough to try to understand our fellow ordinary beings let alone someone who has been titled a guru.
"Knowledge is as infinite as the stars in the sky;
There is no end to all the subjects one could study.
It is better to grasp straight away their very essence--
The unchanging fortress of the Dharmakaya."

– Longchenpa.
Natan
Posts: 3685
Joined: Fri May 23, 2014 5:48 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Natan »

Quay wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 11:39 pm
yagmort wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 4:42 pm ...why do western buddhism followers almost always look so uptight and filled with so much self-concern meanwhile tibetans are almost always smiley and seem like not giving a slightest damn....
In many cases it's because appearances are just that, appearances. Just like charlatans can act like saints people who always smile may be doing it only with their face. Likewise someone looking uptight might be worried about doing the right thing in a sangha or be worrying over giving some kind of cultural offense. Or of course they are thinking of something else that is pressing on them, like making a car payment or if they should ask out the person sitting next to them.

Who can really say what is going on in someone else's mind? Especially as regards motivation?

It's hard enough to try to understand our fellow ordinary beings let alone someone who has been titled a guru.
I think it’s just culture.

Your are Thubten Quay?
Vajra fangs deliver vajra venom to your Mara body.
Simon E.
Posts: 7652
Joined: Tue May 15, 2012 11:09 am

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Simon E. »

yagmort wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 4:42 pm
Simon E. wrote: Mon Jul 16, 2018 3:05 pm...I think we need to be very careful that this does not become another reason to blame to victim...
yes i should have mentioned it myself. all what i said is not to blame neurotic people in a slightest.
i wish all to be at peace with everything and be happy, so to me neurotic people are very troubled and it's pain to see how they oftentimes struggle to find peace because of their unhealed wounds. i just wish that more western vajrayana practitioners, both healthy and traumatised alike, be more aware of this problem. just like weitsicht i too believe that this is probably the only stark difference between western students and tibetans which had been puzzling me for a long time. why do western buddhism followers almost always look so uptight and filled with so much self-concern meanwhile tibetans are almost always smiley and seem like not giving a slightest damn they follow a spiritiual tradition where "giving birth to the heart of sadness" regarded as one of the venerated achievement? it would be nice more westerners will realise they have a deeper problem to be solved before jumping in a vajrayana ocean.
Give it a while and I suspect that many of the Tibetans in exile will be just as hangdog as westerners.
This is already the case with some of the young 'tulkus' for example, who frequently look stressed and care worn.
Facial expression and body language are learned behaviours which follow the localised norms.
“You don’t know it. You just know about it. That is not the same thing.”

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche to me.
User avatar
yagmort
Posts: 674
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:18 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by yagmort »

Simon E. wrote: Tue Jul 17, 2018 1:10 pm...Give it a while and I suspect that many of the Tibetans in exile will be just as hangdog as westerners...
this very well might be so.
Simon E. wrote: Tue Jul 17, 2018 1:10 pm...Facial expression and body language are learned behaviours which follow the localised norms...
i think you can always see who is confident, happy and just overall relaxed vs a worrywart, no matter what are the localised norms. at i least i hink that way, i am not sure if i could pick up the difference let's say in japan or among nz's surfers.. in india among westerners and backpackers that's easy on average.
stay open, spread love
APB
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2018 6:42 am

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by APB »

Thanks for your posts Malcolm. They are very beneficial.

Unfortunately I can speak from personal experience on this matter. I can go into detail but it may not be helpful.

Basically, I met a teacher and had experiences which I could not explain. I followed this teacher for 14 years.
During that time I was treated like a son and I did everything the teacher asked of me. In short I dedicated my body, speech and mind to him.

Over the years I observed the teachers behaviour.
In general it was confusing. I could not predict the teachers actions. Some close to him told me that he had abused his loved ones in the past.

After observing many harmful and deceitful behaviours I began to develop distrust. I also lost faith in his abitu to help me when I needed it most.

After many confusing and painful years I decided to part from this teacher.

Some things I have learnt from my experiences are:

An authentic student teacher relationship is based upon the same factors necessary in any relationship, namely: mutual trust, honesty, respect and love.

Never lose your ability to reason and distinguish right from wrong.

In short, it took me many years to leave.
My faith in the dharma is all but destroyed.
But the blessings of another teacher are still able to grow within me
Veritaseaon
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:34 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Veritaseaon »

The point of abusive guru's is to cause harm and control others. Abuse can also be indirect eg; neglecting someone under your care.

There is a common conception in some dharma circles that a lama can purify a student's negative karma by physically harming them.

Do any of the sutras, tantra or commentaries explain how a buddhist teacher can use physical or emotional harm to guide a student on any of the paths?

When I hear lamas stating publicly that they beat there students, it makes me wonder why they would do such a thing. Also, why would they say it publicly?

Can any of these lamas can explain how beating their student helps the student develop the realisation of the paths within there mental continuum's?
If not, why not? Is this a secret method used by vajra masters? If so, why do they boast about it publicly?

Orgyan Tobgyal had openly said he sees nothing wrong with gurus beating students (see PDF.)

Why would he do such a thing? And why would he talk about it publicly? These questions are reasonable and need to be asked. I wonder how he would go in a fight with a trained opponent. I bet we would see if he is a mahasiddha or a normal person pretty quickly.
User avatar
Wayfarer
Former staff member
Posts: 5150
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 8:31 am
Location: AU

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Wayfarer »

One thing that could be said is that traditional cultures of all kinds were often extremely harsh by modern standards. I mean, I am now in my sixties, but when I went to school I was a pretty rowdy student and I was regularly beaten with a cane for my impudence. Nowadays if that happened there would be a massive outcry and multi-million dollar class-action lawsuit. None of that should be read as defence of abuse, but it might be taken into account.
'Only practice with no gaining idea' ~ Suzuki Roshi
User avatar
heart
Posts: 6288
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:55 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by heart »

Wayfarer wrote: Sat Oct 13, 2018 9:27 am One thing that could be said is that traditional cultures of all kinds were often extremely harsh by modern standards. I mean, I am now in my sixties, but when I went to school I was a pretty rowdy student and I was regularly beaten with a cane for my impudence. Nowadays if that happened there would be a massive outcry and multi-million dollar class-action lawsuit. None of that should be read as defence of abuse, but it might be taken into account.
This is actually a very good point, without doubt does Tibetan culture have other ideas about corporeal punishments than those current in the West.

/magnus
"We are all here to help each other go through this thing, whatever it is."
~Kurt Vonnegut

"The principal practice is Guruyoga. But we need to understand that any secondary practice combined with Guruyoga becomes a principal practice." ChNNR (Teachings on Thun and Ganapuja)
User avatar
heart
Posts: 6288
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:55 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by heart »

Veritaseaon wrote: Sat Oct 13, 2018 12:12 am The point of abusive guru's is to cause harm and control others. Abuse can also be indirect eg; neglecting someone under your care.

There is a common conception in some dharma circles that a lama can purify a student's negative karma by physically harming them.

Do any of the sutras, tantra or commentaries explain how a buddhist teacher can use physical or emotional harm to guide a student on any of the paths?

When I hear lamas stating publicly that they beat there students, it makes me wonder why they would do such a thing. Also, why would they say it publicly?

Can any of these lamas can explain how beating their student helps the student develop the realisation of the paths within there mental continuum's?
If not, why not? Is this a secret method used by vajra masters? If so, why do they boast about it publicly?

Orgyan Tobgyal had openly said he sees nothing wrong with gurus beating students (see PDF.)

Why would he do such a thing? And why would he talk about it publicly? These questions are reasonable and need to be asked. I wonder how he would go in a fight with a trained opponent. I bet we would see if he is a mahasiddha or a normal person pretty quickly.
First, the pdf is notes from a teaching, not the teaching itself. The person that made the notes don't seem very open to what OTR says. Nevertheless OTR take on this is that once you take an empowerment you have to follow the Samaya. It is actually explained just the way it is. Doubts and disbelief is not considered positive and have to be purified, so this is why we do so much tsog and purification practices in Vajrayana. For this reason, if you want to be really close to your master, you better investigate the master before getting seriously involved with him/her. There are plenty of stories about Tibetan masters being violent with their students, OTR names a few of them. There is a saying that Tibetans have; "if you get to close to the master you can get burned, if you stay to far a way you can't feel the heat". Perhaps something to think about.

/magnus
"We are all here to help each other go through this thing, whatever it is."
~Kurt Vonnegut

"The principal practice is Guruyoga. But we need to understand that any secondary practice combined with Guruyoga becomes a principal practice." ChNNR (Teachings on Thun and Ganapuja)
User avatar
Karma Dorje
Posts: 1415
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:35 pm

Re: What's the point of abusive gurus?

Post by Karma Dorje »

Wayfarer wrote: Sat Oct 13, 2018 9:27 am One thing that could be said is that traditional cultures of all kinds were often extremely harsh by modern standards. I mean, I am now in my sixties, but when I went to school I was a pretty rowdy student and I was regularly beaten with a cane for my impudence. Nowadays if that happened there would be a massive outcry and multi-million dollar class-action lawsuit. None of that should be read as defence of abuse, but it might be taken into account.
Context is everything. Some people in modern society pay a lot of money to be beaten with a cane.

Maybe Buddhadharma needs some safe words?
"Although my view is higher than the sky, My respect for the cause and effect of actions is as fine as grains of flour."
-Padmasambhava
Locked

Return to “Tibetan Buddhism”