Can a monk have sex? No. Full stop. End of discussion.ShineeSeoul wrote: what i have learn here from member response, is that, even vajrayana monk can still have sex with consort if they are high practitioner? or so called qualified enough?
The analogy I've been given is of trying to civilize a violent thug. In order to tame him you start with the crudest of his behaviors. You might tell him something like, "Don't stab people anymore. Don't cut them with knives--no matter what." And then after he has gotten over his violent behaviors you might then teach him how to read, and send him back to school. If he did well at school you could send him to college, and then maybe to med school. After graduating med school he could start to treat people. But then there is a problem; if he keeps his promise to "not cut someone with a knife" he can't perform surgery. But surgery is not violence, it is completely different. But even if you are a surgeon you still can't be violent and go around stabbing people.
In the same way a monk, even a Vajrayana monk, cannot have sex. If, on the other hand, they are so evolved (which is extremely rare) they can do something that looks like sex but is as different from sex as surgery is from stabbing someone. But they can no more "have sex" than a surgeon is allowed to stab someone in anger. It is still forbidden. If it ends up being a sexual encounter it is breaking their vows.
It is unimaginable to us that two people can be linked like that and have it be something other than sex. But just because it is beyond our imagination does not mean it is not an actuality. In fact all deep Dharma realizations and practices are beyond our imaginings. Which is why it is so disconcerting for a conservative like me to hear formally secret practices discussed here at DW.
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In fact, the Gelug school was formed in no small part in reaction to the abuse of this practice. Lama Tsongkhapa started a reform movement where the Vinaya was stressed. He himself got to the point in his practice where it would have been appropriate to take a consort but eschewed the practice, not because the practice was either invalid or inappropriate, but because then people with normal awareness would misinterpret his action as him "having sex".
The Gelugpas are very very conservative about this practice. HHDL's office is effectively correct in their denying that it practices. For them it is so rare as to not even be an issue. If that's what you're interested in, then go ask a non-monastic Nyingma lama. They aren't so uptight about it.A human being has his limits. And thus in every conceivable way, with every possible means, he tries to make the teaching enter into his own limits.
ChNN
HHDL has said that the whole "monks with wives" idea is not Dharma.