Don't give up study and intellectual analysis too soon. Of course it depends on the Buddhist tradition you are following as to what role study plays, but in many systems, correct meditation can only follow correct understanding.confusedlayman wrote: ↑Tue Jun 04, 2019 2:30 amHey all, I think I am getting lost in concept and contradicting myself. let me stop reading text from website and start practicing with aim of personal experience and come back to this forum once any clear insight arises and discuss. I dont know if it takes days or months or years but I am going to try without giving up. I think its waste of time to talk about dhamma with just mere words or normal intellectual thinking. If i think non-self its just a thought, so when I am not thinking about not-self the suffering arises again. Since the thought of non self disappear in instant after arising and some other thoughts follows so when some other thought comes, the previous thought and feeling arising from previous thought vanish. So I am not going to depend on intellectual pondering as it is fabricated and easily destroyed and I cannot think of non self continously (one non self thought followed by next moment thought of non self again and again third thought of non self as it makes brain tired and tight).
Has anyone experience emptiness or non self of everything or any things that dont change without mental fabrication but as natural living experience 24 x7?
If your intellectual understanding is faulty or even just incomplete then this can limit the mediations aiming at direct experience. An intellectual understanding can be course or subtle. Obviously a subtle intellectual understanding is still intellectual, but it's still a progression from coarser understandings.
Again, different traditions will emphasise a different balance between study and practice so how you move forward depends on that. Cultivating an intellectual habit can in time soften the mind enough for direct glimpses to occur.