agitated and upset after meditating out of house

Discussion of meditation in the Mahayana and Vajrayana traditions.
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AvaLily
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agitated and upset after meditating out of house

Post by AvaLily » Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:02 pm

av been trying to meditate on and off but over the last month or so my husband has noticed when i meditate out of the house i become very agitated and upset i am an abuse survivor and its maybe that my mind thinks it may be unsafe to do this unsure if its anything to do with caffine i do most of the time drink decaff but i also drink diet coke am trying to limit the amount am drinking i no longer drink it at home and all i drink is water decaff coffee and at night sleepy tea can anyone have suggestion what i can do about this :namaste:

Fortyeightvows
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Re: agitated and upset after meditating out of house

Post by Fortyeightvows » Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:30 am

I'm not an expert but I'd make sure to have my back to a wall.
Short time meditating.. pay attention to if the agitation arises watch it arise, detach from it and keep the session short. At the end of the session before you stand up rub your hands together then rub your eyes, face and legs.
Then if you feel like sitting again do another short session.

(I must emphasize that I am not an expert)

Fortyeightvows
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Re: agitated and upset after meditating out of house

Post by Fortyeightvows » Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:37 am

And of course the standard response is to consult an expert.

Jesse
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Re: agitated and upset after meditating out of house

Post by Jesse » Thu Feb 08, 2018 3:35 pm

It could be any number of things,

For one, are you using meditation to alleviate irritation/agitation? If so, it could simply be that you are more aware of those moods after meditating, or it could be that you are more aware of something that was already there, to begin with (Even if you weren't specifically using meditation to solve it.)

It could be from trying too hard to focus, do you experience the same thing when meditating at home? Do the meditations feel the 'same' when done at home or outside? By that I mean, where is it easier to meditate? Do you progress through your meditation the same? Do you usually experience one set of emotions while meditating at home, that you do not experience outdoors? (Especially a sense of peace, tranquility, calm, or even euphoria?)

When we get too attached to certain things about meditation, we can become agitated when we do not 'obtain' them in future meditations, especially when meditation becomes our goto for feeling good.

It's actually easy to tell if you've had too much caffeine prior to meditating. You likely will not be able to meditate at all, or at least very well. Your monkey mind will be noticeably worse, your thoughts will be disorganized, faster, and you'll have a very difficult time relaxing.

You could try tea instead of soda/coffee. Tea contains other things which when combined with caffeine improve focus, and also limit the comedown effects. Particularly L-Theanine.

I find tea a helpful replacement also because it can be used in an almost ritualistic way. Which can help with relaxation.

Fortyeightvows mentioned getting advice from a teacher, so I'll list a couple other things that might help.

Before, and after meditating, try relaxation techniques like body scanning. When you relax your body, your mind tends to relax, and when the mind relaxes the body relaxes even more. So this can be very helpful for reducing unease, and agitation. Relaxation is the foundation of meditation, right next to focus.

If you find yourself becoming agitated while meditating, just stop for the time being. If you want, try again later after you feel better. It's good to practice, but if you are becoming agitated, it is probably going to be counterproductive.

I have anxiety, so I can relate to feelings of unease, especially during meditation where mental phenomena become heightened. Sometimes it can be solved by further relaxing, other times you simply need to push through (but only if you are meditating correctly.) You said you've been meditating for one month? I honestly wouldn't try the 'pushing on' method if this is the case, rather I would seek instruction, and use the relaxation methods.

I wanted to mention as much as possible unrelated to your mention of being an abuse survivor, but only you know yourself, and your mind. It could be helpful to talk to someone about these emotions, as they could also be part of your natural meditation journey, and may simply need to be expressed (to either a teacher, or a psychologist or therapist, or even a friend.)

Meditation can bring up repressed emotions, and other emotional/traumatic debris from our past. Which is why it's normally done under instruction. Just because something is a natural response, doesn't mean it's healthy, unless it's dealt with properly. So if this continues to get worse, I would suggest stopping meditation until you find a real life instructor with a good amount of experience, or see a doctor; or both.
The cost of a thing is the amount of what I call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.
-Henry David Thoreau

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fuki
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Re: agitated and upset after meditating out of house

Post by fuki » Thu Feb 08, 2018 3:54 pm

AvaLily wrote:
Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:02 pm
av been trying to meditate on and off but over the last month or so my husband has noticed when i meditate out of the house i become very agitated and upset...
Do these vexations arise during the meditation outside or when you come home and/or encounter your husband again? Can you describe "out of the house" a bit better, it could mean your own garden or it could mean walking for 30 minutes to a place in nature, like a forest/dunes etc and then meditate. So how much time is there between when the meditation ends and you return home or encounter people again?
meldpunt seksueel misbruik in boeddhistische gemeenschappen nederland.
https://meldpuntbg.nl/

joy&peace
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Re: agitated and upset after meditating out of house

Post by joy&peace » Wed Mar 07, 2018 3:29 am

:buddha2: :buddha1: :buddha2:

Hi Ava,

There is a lot of energy out in the world -- my impression is that you may be experiencing this.

In a holy or peaceful place, the energy is peaceful, and spiritual. So opening oneself up in a place like this fills with the energy of peace, healing, so forth.

Similarly.

Best wishes for your practice.

With metta,
J&p

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weitsicht
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Re: agitated and upset after meditating out of house

Post by weitsicht » Mon Apr 09, 2018 7:56 am

Dear Ava,

not sure what you wanted to express, neither whether some of the aforementioned helped you.
It definitely would be good to stay with meditation DESPITE the agitation effect. Something is being stirred up and you can for sure cope with that what is showing - otherwise it wouldn't show up.

What I read from your post is
1) you do some meditation technique out of house
2) you drink caffeinated drinks
3) Your husband tells you you are agitated and upset.

First of all it is good to have a close companion in life mirroring thing one cannot see clearly for oneself. It's good being thankful to him, this mirroring is not self-evident. Also watch how this agitation and upset feels like inside you which he is reflecting.

Secondly, if you wonder whether the agitation comes either from caffeine or from meditation. Leave one of the two out and watch for yourself.

If this feeling comes from meditation then try and see whether it has the same effect when meditating on your own. Then also, please tell us which technique that is. Also whether it is guided by some meditation teacher or not.
Ho! All the possible appearances and existences of samsara and nirvana have the same source, yet two paths and two results arise as the magical display of awareness and unawareness.
HO NANG SRI KHOR DAE THAMCHE KUN ZHI CHIG LAM NYI DRAE BU NYI RIG DANG MA RIG CHOM THRUL TE

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