Worldly wish fulfilling mantras?

[marting]

Boyfriends, girlfriends, music, wine, and good pizzas are all grist to the mill of Dharma.

I doubt it's quite like that, but...uh, OK.

[Aryjna]

There is literally nothing that is intrinsically 'nothing to do with it'.

The idea that there are areas of life which have nothing to do with Dharma is the hinayana view. The hinayana view is not exclusive to any particular school.

Motivation and awareness is all.

I disagree that this is the Hinayana view. And it is not an area of life, it is what you choose to pursue and do with your time. Choosing to pray or look for a girlfriend instead of trying to integrate the circumstances you are already in in your practice.

As you said awareness is very important. Being aware of why you may be hoping and praying for a girlfriend in the first place is also a part of it.

[Simon E.]

There is no cut off point. We don't integrate just what has arisen in our lives so far.
. Things constantly arise in great emptiness and return to great emptiness.
Nothing can stop that or improve it

Not phenomenon nor repression of phenomena.

Girlfriend or no girlfriend... it's all just stuff. It arises, it passes.

[Aryjna]

There is no cut off point. We don't integrate just what has arisen in our lives so far.
. Things constantly arise in great emptiness and return to great emptiness.
Nothing can stop that or improve it

Not phenomenon nor repression of phenomena.

Girlfriend or no girlfriend... it's all just stuff. It arises, it passes.

I generally agree, but here I am speaking specifically in the context of this thread: Someone who does not at the moment have a girlfriend or a suitable candidate in sight, and who is motivated to look for one because it may help with practice.

The differentiation between that and other mundane siddhis is quite clear to me from a practical point of view. Someone who does not have enough money to travel to meet teachers and does a wealth practice may then have enough money to visit teachers etc. Someone having many physical problems and illnesses that don't let them travel or do certain practices, and manages to overcome them through practice, can again benefit. The same for having longer life so that you can practice longer before you die. In contrast, someone who does not have a girlfriend and wants one because it may be somehow helpful to practice is not the same thing as I see it.

Integration etc. is the ideal in any circumstance but does not really have much bearing in this case. I am not saying practitioners should always avoid relationships or get divorced.

[Simon E.]

Hello people. Soo I was just wondering what mantras or deities can I pray and do for worldly wishes? Well I kinda want to get a gf who can accompany me to dharma centres and practice together. So is there any particular deity or mantra to fulfill my wish?

This was the OP. No mention of 'may help with practice'. Simply a wish for supportive friendship. With or without benefits.

[Aryjna]

Hello people. Soo I was just wondering what mantras or deities can I pray and do for worldly wishes? Well I kinda want to get a gf who can accompany me to dharma centres and practice together. So is there any particular deity or mantra to fulfill my wish?

This was the OP. No mention of 'may help with practice'. Simply a wish for supportive friendship. With or without benefits.

Well, there is a connection to practice as I read it. But if there is no connection and it is purely a worldly desire then why seek it through practice? With my current understanding, I could not in good conscience dedicate sadhana to something that is not directly connected with the Dharma.

[MatthewAngby]

Guys... I have actually thought about it already. Ever since yesterday I have been to Kyabgön Phakchok rinpoche’s short speech ystd, I was completely amused and intrigued by his way of talking. So as you know, i am a shy and untalkative 16 year old boy and who often is very awkward and shy to talk to people in dharma centres. Also most of the people in the dharma centre seem to be older than me , which kinda have a barrier when I want to talk to them. ( again, shy and awkward me ) .

So I really want a Girlfriend or a companion ( a girl ) - because why, it motivates me in a way. I realised that when I have someone I reallly know and treats them like a family member , I tend to get more relaxed and not so tense in pujas and prayer sessions ( I have experienced it before fyi ) so I would just say that I really need them, for my practice.

[Thomas Amundsen]

Guys... I have actually thought about it already. Ever since yesterday I have been to Kyabgön Phakchok rinpoche’s short speech ystd, I was completely amused and intrigued by his way of talking. So as you know, i am a shy and untalkative 16 year old boy and who often is very awkward and shy to talk to people in dharma centres. Also most of the people in the dharma centre seem to be older than me , which kinda have a barrier when I want to talk to them. ( again, shy and awkward me ) .

So I really want a Girlfriend or a companion ( a girl ) - because why, it motivates me in a way. I realised that when I have someone I reallly know and treats them like a family member , I tend to get more relaxed and not so tense in pujas and prayer sessions ( I have experienced it before fyi ) so I would just say that I really need them, for my practice.

Just as general relationship advice, Dharma or non-Dharma girlfriends - be patient looking for the right one. There can be a tendency to jump into a relationship quickly and go way deeper than you should. Especially if you're really looking for one. This eventually causes many problems when you find out the person wasn't exactly what you were looking for, but by that time you're too deeply connexted to them that getting out of it is very complicated. Well, that has been my experience, anyway.

[Vasana]

Matthew, first all consider yourself very fortunate that you're in to the Dharma at such a young age! As you saw, most people at dharma centers tend to be a bit older.

You're 16. There's gonna be some awkwardness and it's normal that you're wanting a girlfreind at your age. Since you saw how few people your age attended the teachings, you might get an idea of how often you'll get to meet girls in your dating range. Other events and centers may or may not be any different.

Study and practice dharma but don't let the pursuit of a dharma girlfreind get in the way. Work on overcoming any awkwardness and developing any social skills by engaging with people at the dharma center. This is how you'll meet both male and female dharma friends too

[tingdzin]

[fckw]

Just as general relationship advice, Dharma or non-Dharma girlfriends - be patient looking for the right one. There can be a tendency to jump into a relationship quickly and go way deeper than you should. Especially if you're really looking for one. This eventually causes many problems when you find out the person wasn't exactly what you were looking for, but by that time you're too deeply connexted to them that getting out of it is very complicated. Well, that has been my experience, anyway.

Playing the devil's advocate, I recommend exactly the opposite. Try to get a girlfriend as quickly as possible. It will be a great and terrible experience at the same time that will teach you way more about yourself and women in general than you could ever express in words. First girlfriends always leave your mark on you and make you the man you're supposed to be later in life. (That's also why growing up in a monastic setting is not necessarily a good idea. You end up having lots of wrong ideas about the opposite gender.)

[Soma999]

I feel it's better to stand by oneself, to find maturity, and then, find someone so as to share and enrich the other person's life. The other is not a cane to help us stand.

Some people rush to find a partner like, oh finaly i got one, and then they just put all their weight on the shoulder of their partner, like if their partner should carry them. I don't find that very sane.

To find someone, be complete yourself, and then you have something to share.

I find the advise to wait, to don't rush very good. Search not only for physical intimacy, because otherwise it's like ice cream : you want some monday, you don't want it anymore tuesday (the ice cream may be you). Try to find someone with whom you share something deep. Ask for that in your prayers.

I remember Lama Zopa who advised someone to pray to find a boddisattva as a partner.

Don't rush : better of alone than in bad company. But also better of with a good partner than alone.

Personaly, i found very deep value with the books "love and sexuality" by the Bulgar Master Omraam Michael Aivanhov. he is not buddhist, but wisdom is universal, and he is a storehouse of wisdom. He hold deep and profund key on those subjects. It may really help to deepen your view of these questions, and how to behave for your highest welfare.

I met people who told me they had great positive change and orientation in there life thanks to these knowledge.

His little book "sexual force or the winged dragon" is also very profund and interesting for a spiritual view of sexuality, which is of deep importance at your age.

[Simon E.]

No indeed, you are correct.

Aivanhov may be many things, but a Buddhist he certainly is not.

[MatthewAngby]

Matthew, first all consider yourself very fortunate that you're in to the Dharma at such a young age! As you saw, most people at dharma centers tend to be a bit older.

You're 16. There's gonna be some awkwardness and it's normal that you're wanting a girlfreind at your age. Since you saw how few people your age attended the teachings, you might get an idea of how often you'll get to meet girls in your dating range. Other events and centers may or may not be any different.

Study and practice dharma but don't let the pursuit of a dharma girlfreind get in the way. Work on overcoming any awkwardness and developing any social skills by engaging with people at the dharma center. This is how you'll meet both male and female dharma friends too

But I don’t know how to overcome my awkwardness amd shyness ... like what should I do? I can’t really have a nice chat with people too. Okay this might be off topic but always, I feel shy and scared to talk to rinpoches, so I often tend to be quiet in voice when talking to them, and also I find it hard to have some “ story and joke “ time with them because I always tend to be quite shy and not able to start conversations. So what should I do to help get over this thing?

[Simon E.]

Time and simply getting used to situations will probably take care of it, Matthew.

Many 16 year olds feel the same. It does pass..really.

[Lobsang Chojor]

Matthew, I had the same problems as you when I first started attending teachings at 16. As Simon says it does pass it just takes a bit of time and experience, I found that the more I attended teachings the more people would try to talk to me and I found it easier to talk to people. Also, I find the longer you spend with a teacher the more of a relationship you can build up which makes conversation easier.

[Thomas Amundsen]

Just as general relationship advice, Dharma or non-Dharma girlfriends - be patient looking for the right one. There can be a tendency to jump into a relationship quickly and go way deeper than you should. Especially if you're really looking for one. This eventually causes many problems when you find out the person wasn't exactly what you were looking for, but by that time you're too deeply connexted to them that getting out of it is very complicated. Well, that has been my experience, anyway.

Playing the devil's advocate, I recommend exactly the opposite. Try to get a girlfriend as quickly as possible. It will be a great and terrible experience at the same time that will teach you way more about yourself and women in general than you could ever express in words. First girlfriends always leave your mark on you and make you the man you're supposed to be later in life. (That's also why growing up in a monastic setting is not necessarily a good idea. You end up having lots of wrong ideas about the opposite gender.)

That might actually be good advice. I may be more speaking from the place where I am right now in my life and not thinking about what would be good for someone literally half my age.

[MatthewAngby]

Okay then . Thanks all!

[Grigoris]

And don't be afraid to make friends with the "older people" at the center, they may have daughters your age!

[MatthewAngby]

And don't be afraid to make friends with the "older people" at the center, they may have daughters your age!

HAHAHAHAHAH. I hope so... of course if they are also interested in dharma too.