comment on strange experience?

lisasimmarco
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comment on strange experience?

Post by lisasimmarco » Mon Jul 18, 2016 2:31 pm

I became a Buddhist in 2000, first of the Nyimgma, and then later, of the Kagyu tradition. Lately, because of a cluster several tragic events in my life this year that almost decimated me, I have been practicing as the Buddha said, like my hair has been on fire. I stopped practicing in 2010 when my local sangha closed.

I am practicing mostly White Tara and Vajrasattva, some Chod. Previously, my central channel always felt like it was closed at the top of my head; I performed Vajrasattva for hours and hours a day, for years, when I first became a Buddhist and I would have to absorb the energy as rain going in, in my pores. I just could not get it down the top of my head. The first thing I noticed, to my surprise, when I began practicing again in February of this year, is that it was now open. I had not done anything else in the intervening years, except a little qi qong.

This opening was wonderful to me, and I often kept my attention focused at the top of my head, envisioning the elixir descending and purifying the central channel for the pleasurable, and cool sensation that was experienced, before sending it all over my body.

Two nights ago, I was 'half sleeping' and I saw in the center of my brain a tiny, exquisitely beautiful, silver squiggle that looked similar to the 'om' squiggle. Suddenly it burst and a blazing white network of white light 'blew' apart my brain. There was the sound of roaring, or electrical storm in my head. I was frightened and then, fell back to sleep.

I have checked with kundalini / yoga websites and supposedly this is something like a kundalini awakening, which I know as a Buddhist, has nothing to do with the realization Buddha taught. Or does it? In kundalini awakenings all kinds of things happen afterwards. All I am noticing is that I have slightly more energy and not as depressed as I have been my whole life (I have rclinical depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, also other long term physical problems, which seem to be slightly better, also).

I figured if I tell my Rinpoche that he will just keep telling me to practice, not get attached to experiences, and of course I will. But I was wondering if anyone here has had something similar happen, and could comment, or even if not, felt like commenting.

If my health DOES continue to get better from this experience, I would be so grateful to the bodhisattvas. I have wanted to do a one year retreat for a while, and was concerned that my health was not up to it.

Thank you in advance,

Lisa (Konchog Tempel)

newbie
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by newbie » Mon Jul 18, 2016 5:15 pm

Keep practicing to stabilize the process!

:anjali:

lisasimmarco
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by lisasimmarco » Tue Jul 19, 2016 3:38 pm

Is that you, Rinpoche?

:D

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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by newbie » Tue Jul 19, 2016 5:13 pm

No, Garchen Rinpoche gave me a name :emb: and .. I have practice to do. I should get going.
:heart:

Also :techproblem.

lisasimmarco
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by lisasimmarco » Thu Jul 21, 2016 8:25 pm

Garchen is my root lama! I am going through a really challenging situation and I will take that you responded as one of the signs I have received it will have a successful resolution.

Right now I practice with the Tampa sangha under the guidance of Drupon Rinpoche.

Thank you so much for telling me that. I can not begin to express how much that meant to me.

Lisa
Konchuk Tempek

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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by newbie » Thu Jul 21, 2016 10:29 pm

lisasimmarco wrote:Garchen is my root lama! I am going through a really challenging situation and I will take that you responded as one of the signs I have received it will have a successful resolution.

Right now I practice with the Tampa sangha under the guidance of Drupon Rinpoche.

Thank you so much for telling me that. I can not begin to express how much that meant to me.

Lisa
Konchuk Tempek


I took refuge with Drupon Rinchen Dorjee Rinpoche and Garchen Rinpoche.
I also follow the words of wisdom of the Karmapa.

Rodica
K.Tsomo
computer is still down.

lisasimmarco
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by lisasimmarco » Fri Jul 22, 2016 12:54 am

Oh yes! I received Chod empowerment with Drupon. So nice to meet you Dharma sibling!

Did you take refuge with Garchen at the Institute in Arizona? That is a very beautiful place.

The Drupon of which I speak is Drupon Thinley Ningpo Rinpoche, the resident teacher at the Drong Ngur Buddhist Center in Tampa. They are having a Chenrezig drupchen in October there, if you are interested, and can get there. I am going.

Good luck with your computer, I will include it in my next White Tara practice. :smile:

newbie
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by newbie » Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:51 am

No, I met Rinpoche only online.

Lisa do you have cold symptoms? It may have been a quick cold.

Also, thank you for the kind thought!
It may be that my computer is a fan of HH DL and it shuts itself down when someone tries funny stuff on me.

:heart:

lisasimmarco
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by lisasimmarco » Fri Jul 22, 2016 5:06 am

No, not cold at all...hmmmm....

Upon reflection I do believe the experience was one of rebellious stomach qi, or 'gas.'

:popcorn:

Uhoh...computer demons...that's bad. Time for Achi.

:heart:

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Grigoris
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by Grigoris » Fri Jul 22, 2016 7:24 am

lisasimmarco wrote:I figured if I tell my Rinpoche that he will just keep telling me to practice, not get attached to experiences, and of course I will.
But instead of going with what you know is correct, you will make a big deal out of your experience and hope that a bunch of strangers on the internet will help validate your grasping to the experience, right? :smile:
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde

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lelopa
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by lelopa » Fri Jul 22, 2016 7:43 am

:popcorn:
ཨོཾ་ཨཱཿཧཱུྃ་བོ་དྷི་ཙིཏྟ་མ་ཧཱ་སུ་ཁ་ཛྙཱ་ན་དྷཱརྟུ་ཨཱཿ

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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by newbie » Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:09 pm

Yes, I like to listen to the flow of words spoken by Garchen Rinpoche.
I don't understand but I like to listen: he speaks, I listen.
Then comes the translation.
Then comes the understanding.
Then comes practice.
And more understanding.
And dedication of merits to all sentient beings.
So you see?
It is not that difficult.
:D

lisasimmarco
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by lisasimmarco » Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:22 pm

Sherab forge,

In the past year and a half, after being in great physical pain for twenty years, I was paralysed with another health challenge and in and out of the hospital. My beloved cat died, my father who had abused me as a child and abandoned me me, died, and I was called by Adult Protective Services to come pick up my mother, who had dementia and was in another state in the USA. I was the only caretaker and I had no help. In January of 2016, she had a heart attack and was in a coma for four months before she died two months ago when I took her off life support. She had abandoned me also. She died in my arms. I set out to commit suicide and it is by a miracle that I am alive now. Praise Tara.

I am trying to change mysel at the core. However, Ibthink a little grasping is Ok on the way as to some of the auspicious signs I have had recently.

Thank you for your constructive comment. You are like Vajrakilaya, whose mercy is non dualistic.

amanitamusc
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by amanitamusc » Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:57 pm

Tempered by the awesome display.Your teachers are exceptional as are the teachings.
I'm glad you are here.

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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by newbie » Fri Jul 22, 2016 9:10 pm

In order to prevent further disagreements,
I am Lisa's sibling.

:heart: to all.

Thank you!

newbie
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by newbie » Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:01 pm

Welcome to DW, Lisa!

:anjali:

lisasimmarco
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by lisasimmarco » Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:19 pm

amanitamusic and newbie,

Thank you for welcoming me to this board! It is so nice to meet you, and I love you too, Newbie, and everyone else here.

I was thinking about the posts on this thread, and I realized that I actually had not been grasping the experience when I first posted! I was just curious if any of my sangha brothers or sisters here had experienced anything like that while spreading the nectar in their bodies from the deities. A member of dharmawheel.net pm'd me some very, very useful information.

However, when I replied to my Sherab Dorje, I actually was acting from grasping, from a world of conceptualization about myself and about other people that I carry on my shoulders! How interesting, and how useful your post was, Sherab Dorje! Thank you.

Incidentally, Garchen said once that all members of the Kagyu sect have re-incarnated over and over and over again together. I assume this is true for other lineages as well. So to me, you are not strangers on a board, but friends with whom I am meeting again. Of course, I will use my common sense, the little bit I have learned on the way, to choose what is useful to me, and what is not. But it is all grist for the mill in terms of dharma.

We are all part of the same luminous emptiness and compassion.

Newbie, I loved this:

Yes, I like to listen to the flow of words spoken by Garchen Rinpoche.
I don't understand but I like to listen: he speaks, I listen.
Then comes the translation.
Then comes the understanding.
Then comes practice.
And more understanding.
And dedication of merits to all sentient beings.
So you see?
It is not that difficult"

I am going to print it out and put it somewhere where I can see it.

Thank you so much, everyone.

Lisa (Konchuk Tempel)

AlexMcLeod
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by AlexMcLeod » Sat Jul 23, 2016 1:55 am

lisasimmarco wrote:I am practicing mostly White Tara and Vajrasattva, some Chod. Previously, my central channel always felt like it was closed at the top of my head; I performed Vajrasattva for hours and hours a day, for years, when I first became a Buddhist and I would have to absorb the energy as rain going in, in my pores. I just could not get it down the top of my head. The first thing I noticed, to my surprise, when I began practicing again in February of this year, is that it was now open. I had not done anything else in the intervening years, except a little qi qong.
Speaking as a long time practitioner of qigong, most decent instructors will first thing open several points on the students, and that is one of them.

Two nights ago, I was 'half sleeping' and I saw in the center of my brain a tiny, exquisitely beautiful, silver squiggle that looked similar to the 'om' squiggle. Suddenly it burst and a blazing white network of white light 'blew' apart my brain. There was the sound of roaring, or electrical storm in my head. I was frightened and then, fell back to sleep.

I have checked with kundalini / yoga websites and supposedly this is something like a kundalini awakening, which I know as a Buddhist, has nothing to do with the realization Buddha taught. Or does it? In kundalini awakenings all kinds of things happen afterwards. All I am noticing is that I have slightly more energy and not as depressed as I have been my whole life (I have rclinical depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, also other long term physical problems, which seem to be slightly better, also).
This is just energy breaking through some kind of blockage. It doesn't matter where the blockage was, or why it caused you to see things, all that matters is that when a blockage clears, it often causes odd symptoms followed by better health.
I figured if I tell my Rinpoche that he will just keep telling me to practice, not get attached to experiences, and of course I will. But I was wondering if anyone here has had something similar happen, and could comment, or even if not, felt like commenting.
Good advice.
If my health DOES continue to get better from this experience, I would be so grateful to the bodhisattvas. I have wanted to do a one year retreat for a while, and was concerned that my health was not up to it.
I know of a guy in St. Pete who teaches the kind of qigong that might clear those pesky health problems up fairly quickly so you can do your retreat. Not sure what (or if) he charges, though.
Relax! Smile From The Heart!
There is a difference between the Mundane and the Transcendental. If you purposefully confuse them, I will ignore you, you nihilist.
There is no Emotion, there is Peace. There is no Ignorance, there is Knowledge. There is no Passion, there is Serenity. There is no Death, there is the Force.

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Grigoris
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Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by Grigoris » Sat Jul 23, 2016 6:38 am

lisasimmarco wrote:However, when I replied to my Sherab Dorje, I actually was acting from grasping, from a world of conceptualization about myself and about other people that I carry on my shoulders! How interesting, and how useful your post was, Sherab Dorje! Thank you.
From my personal experience (and discussions with others) meditative experiences are serious obstacles to ongoing practice. I have met serious practitioners that have been completely derailed after years of practice following a single positive meditative experience.
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde

lisasimmarco
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Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2016 12:24 am

Re: comment on strange experience?

Post by lisasimmarco » Sat Jul 23, 2016 3:37 pm

But what about the ones who were able to absorb the positive experience on the way and enhance their practice? Surely there are both? My question led to another practitioner pm'ing me with very useful information as to why NOT to rest in the crown chakra, which I have immediately put into effect. memb

Didn't the Buddha say the sangha was more precious than jewels? And surely not because they were all sitting around practicing together, which is great in itself. Surely they were meditating, and reflecting on their meditations, and then one member might say to another, "Yo, Ananda, this just happened to me while meditating, it was great/bad/ what do you think?" and Ananda might reply, "Well, this what I think, but check it with the Buddha, later."

In my sangha, people were often turning over their experiences with each other. And that the end, they would often remind each other, "Well, in any case, just keep practicing, and check with Rinpoche if you need to."

We both know that the key is, as newbie says, who is probably practicing now, to practice, practice, practice. I take your point very seriously about those serious practitioners you mentioned.

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