Mizuko Kuyo / Water Baby Ceremony

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jake
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Mizuko Kuyo / Water Baby Ceremony

Post by jake » Sun Apr 23, 2017 10:47 pm

Hello folks,

I'm reading Jeff Wilson's book, Mourning the Unborn Dead, and was surprised to see that a modified Mizuko Kuyo ceremony has been developed and adopted at a number of American Zen centers. As the author only really focuses on Zen centers, I am curious if anyone from other traditions has come across this ritual and what they think of its role in the US?

Thanks!

jake
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Seishin
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Re: Mizuko Kuyo / Water Baby Ceremony

Post by Seishin » Mon Apr 24, 2017 11:05 am

Although I'm not part of Zen I found this ritual to be incredibly healing for myself and my wife when we lost our baby. I think it most definitely has a place in western society. When we lost our baby the doctors and hospital (uk) had a bit of a blasé attitude. We were told how "normal" and common it was, we were given statistics and a leaflet on how to deal with all the blood and pain. It was very uncompassionate. It seemed that loosing a fetus did not equate to a living being in the medical profession. So yes, the mizuko kuyo really helped us in our grieving process.

In gassho
Seishin

jake
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Re: Mizuko Kuyo / Water Baby Ceremony

Post by jake » Mon Apr 24, 2017 5:37 pm

Seishin wrote:Although I'm not part of Zen I found this ritual to be incredibly healing for myself and my wife when we lost our baby. I think it most definitely has a place in western society. When we lost our baby the doctors and hospital (uk) had a bit of a blasé attitude. We were told how "normal" and common it was, we were given statistics and a leaflet on how to deal with all the blood and pain. It was very uncompassionate. It seemed that loosing a fetus did not equate to a living being in the medical profession. So yes, the mizuko kuyo really helped us in our grieving process.

In gassho
Seishin
Dear Seishin,

Thank you for this meaningful post. May I ask who performed the ritual? What tradition? Wilson's book is based on research from about 10 years ago so I'm quite curious to learn how things have developed since.

thanks again!
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Seishin
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Re: Mizuko Kuyo / Water Baby Ceremony

Post by Seishin » Mon Apr 24, 2017 6:14 pm

It was my sensei and Tendai Shu

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rory
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Re: Mizuko Kuyo / Water Baby Ceremony

Post by rory » Mon Apr 24, 2017 9:15 pm

Dear Seishin; I'm so sorry for your and your wife's loss of your child. I know Tendai Shu will be there to help others through loss and grief and aknowledging the pain...there's a 'get over and get on with it' attitude that's frankly cruel.

Jake, perhaps this is news too you, but as a woman I can tell you that such cross- sect services, which originate from Japan, and deal with miscarriage and abortion are becoming popular in many Buddhist centers for just those reasons. Here is a link to it in Jodo Shu

http://english.jodoshuna.org/store/#!/M ... ry=1793426

I dont have a link but priests in Nichiren Shu in the US will perform mizuko kuyo if you ask.

gassho
Rory
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Seishin
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Re: Mizuko Kuyo / Water Baby Ceremony

Post by Seishin » Mon Apr 24, 2017 9:25 pm

Thank you Rory. Much appreciated

shaunc
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Re: Mizuko Kuyo / Water Baby Ceremony

Post by shaunc » Mon Apr 24, 2017 10:21 pm

I'm very sorry to hear of your and your wife and families loss. I hope that things pick up for you all soon.

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Lobsang Chojor
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Re: Mizuko Kuyo / Water Baby Ceremony

Post by Lobsang Chojor » Mon Apr 24, 2017 10:35 pm

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, I wish you and your family the best.

Sadly, that's not the first time I've heard of a hospital having a blasé attitude to someone losing a baby in the UK.

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Seishin
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Re: Mizuko Kuyo / Water Baby Ceremony

Post by Seishin » Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:20 pm

Thanks all. It was a long time ago now. All is ok. I hope, through our experience, we can better help others. :smile:

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