I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

bcol01
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I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by bcol01 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:59 am

Why did this happen? I don't want to get into details but basically my friend wound up saying something that really didn't set right w me. I handled it well, but still. Why didn't my daimoku seem to pay off?

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The Cicada
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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by The Cicada » Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:57 am

Chanting brings out everything. Once you start chanting sincerely, you're pushing against the karmic grain. Whatever happened was latent, and now it's manifest. Figuring out exactly what was at the root of it all will take more practice and careful observation of what's happening in your life.

*My qualifications for giving this advice are that I practice and that I am a random stranger on the internet.

:namaste:

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TharpaChodron
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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by TharpaChodron » Mon Oct 23, 2017 2:00 am

I don't practice Nichiren, but I think we can't expect "better relations" to mean that everything will always be honky dory between ourselves and others. maybe your disagreement will lead to greater understanding. Practicing Buddhism with the expectation that people and problems magically get solved overnight is unrealistic and contrary to the actual Dharma imo

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by narhwal90 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 2:02 am

Chanting for other people to do something or act differently never worked for me. OTOH chanting for clarity and awareness wrt my own actions and motivations has.

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by Fortyeightvows » Mon Oct 23, 2017 5:33 am

Earlier this year, I was on the road when another car ran into mine. No one was hurt but the damage to my car was pretty serious.Later that day I had a friend ake me over to a body shop he knows about. He's christian but I don't think very religious, and while we were riding in my car he said something about my amulets like "they obviously don't work"...I didn't really respond at the time, but I thought about it later on.
I came to the conclusion that while the amulets didn't prevent the accident, the accident could have been much worse than it was and that maybe the amulets kept thing from being too bad.
Later on, I got an insurance check for a good amount and fixed my car for much less, so in the end, I came out ahead.

So, what I'm saying is that, even when we take the proper precautions, like chanting, or keeping amulets, etc, we might still have some bad luck, but that bad luck might have been much worse without having taken those precautions.

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by Wayfarer » Mon Oct 23, 2017 8:56 am

Pay off? :shrug:
In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few ~ Suzuki-roshi

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by Miroku » Mon Oct 23, 2017 11:17 am

You cannot change other people or outer world and if you can then only a little. What you can change completely is you and the way you act and react. The fact that you handled it well means your chanting works. The thing that you noticed that sth bothers you means that your chanting works. The fact that friend said it means that your chanting works.

AFAIK even though we practice there will be always obstacles and even more than ever before. For example I have started practicing daily only this summer and since then I barely have enough money for food and my clothes and shoes are full of holes, which is not good since the winter is comming. I can be bitter about it all and trust me I have tried and sometimes I am sad etc., however seeing this as an opportunity to practice and purification is way better.

So it can be a form of purification and if not that then it is a great test for you to see how well you are chanting.

Also chant for enlightenment, not for people being nice to you. And for benefit of others, not yours. Then everything gets easier even if it doesn't get better.
Child, if you are not hypocritical and out of control, that is conduct.
~ Padampa Sangye

You say such clever things to people, but you do not apply them to yourself.
The faults within you are the ones to be exposed.
~ Padampa Sangye

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Minobu
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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by Minobu » Mon Oct 23, 2017 4:17 pm

bcol01 wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:59 am
Why did this happen? I don't want to get into details but basically my friend wound up saying something that really didn't set right w me. I handled it well, but still. Why didn't my daimoku seem to pay off?
Why didn't my daimoku seem to pay off?
you say this but you mean it did not pay off...yes / no...be honest...what are you frightened of?
are you chanting to gohonzon for stuff or are you developing gohonzon inside you...

all worldly stuff swirling around our petty desires are drivel compared to the real work at hand...developing oneself to the point you can actually help others..give them health...wealth to live proper...thats the real deal you made with Buddha so long ago...and promised to accomplish it in this degenerative age and messed up body and mind we dwell in...

bcol01
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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by bcol01 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 6:38 pm

I appreciate your insight and i've def thought about that.. "The fact that you handled it well means your chanting works."
Thanks a bunch. Really helps to have perspective. Some of us often get the impression that chanting will just prevent and fix everything and to some extent I think that's true but it has a way of working that may not always be how we'd like for it to and we have to be mindful of that. Otherwise, we can stop practicing and give up easily. Thank you again. :namaste:



Miroku wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 11:17 am
You cannot change other people or outer world and if you can then only a little. What you can change completely is you and the way you act and react. The fact that you handled it well means your chanting works. The thing that you noticed that sth bothers you means that your chanting works. The fact that friend said it means that your chanting works.

AFAIK even though we practice there will be always obstacles and even more than ever before. For example I have started practicing daily only this summer and since then I barely have enough money for food and my clothes and shoes are full of holes, which is not good since the winter is comming. I can be bitter about it all and trust me I have tried and sometimes I am sad etc., however seeing this as an opportunity to practice and purification is way better.

So it can be a form of purification and if not that then it is a great test for you to see how well you are chanting.

Also chant for enlightenment, not for people being nice to you. And for benefit of others, not yours. Then everything gets easier even if it doesn't get better.

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by jkarlins » Tue Oct 24, 2017 2:50 am

maybe the payoff was the pointing out of an area to work on, those sort of awkward situations we all confront now and then

Jake

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by Johnny Dangerous » Tue Oct 24, 2017 3:02 am

bcol01 wrote:
Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:59 am
Why did this happen? I don't want to get into details but basically my friend wound up saying something that really didn't set right w me. I handled it well, but still. Why didn't my daimoku seem to pay off?
Maybe it did. Some teachers say the greatest blessing is being shaken from our stupor.

Was your friend right, did it hurt because it had an element of truth? If so, that could be a blessing. If not, did it point out something you need to confront orbring to light? If neither of those, then who knows. One things for sure, you should not expect Dharma practice to simply make life more harmonious, all kinds of stuff will come up.
"it must be coming from the mouthy mastermind of raunchy rapper, Johnny Dangerous”

-Jeff H.

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by markatex » Tue Oct 24, 2017 3:38 am

it has a way of working that may not always be how we'd like for it to and we have to be mindful of that.
This is why I don't necessarily look askance at chanting for "things" or situational outcomes, etc. It's a starting point, and ideally as your practice starts to mature, you realize that the universe knows what you need better than you do. Karmic ripening and all that may also come into play, but we can't know the workings of that for sure. "I am always thinking - 'how can I cause all living beings to enter into the way of the Buddha and quickly attain enlightenment?'" That sentence from the end of the 16th chapter of the Lotus Sutra really encapsulates what's going on when we open ourselves up to this practice.

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Minobu
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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by Minobu » Tue Oct 24, 2017 5:13 pm

markatex wrote:
Tue Oct 24, 2017 3:38 am
it has a way of working that may not always be how we'd like for it to and we have to be mindful of that.
This is why I don't necessarily look askance at chanting for "things" or situational outcomes, etc. It's a starting point, and ideally as your practice starts to mature, you realize that the universe knows what you need better than you do. Karmic ripening and all that may also come into play, but we can't know the workings of that for sure. "I am always thinking - 'how can I cause all living beings to enter into the way of the Buddha and quickly attain enlightenment?'" That sentence from the end of the 16th chapter of the Lotus Sutra really encapsulates what's going on when we open ourselves up to this practice.
:good:

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by Coëmgenu » Tue Oct 24, 2017 6:01 pm

markatex wrote:
Tue Oct 24, 2017 3:38 am
This is why I don't necessarily look askance at chanting for "things" or situational outcomes, etc.
And, even if they do not come to be, the meditation on those 'things' and situational outcomes will likely teach you new insights and perspectives concerning those very 'things', those situational outcomes, and how they relate to you.

But that's just a guess.
並畢竟空。並如來藏。並實相。非三 而三三而不三。非合非散而合而散。非非合非非散。不可一異而一異。
All three truths are ultimately empty, all are tathāgatagarbha, all are true aspect. Not three, they are three; three, they are not three. Neither combined nor separated, neither uncombined nor unseparated. Neither same nor different, yet in a sense same, and in a sense different.

夫三諦者。 天然之性徳也。 中諦者。 統一切法。 眞諦者。 泯一切法。 俗諦者。 立一切法。
The three truths. Heaven-sent natural characteristics. The middle truth unifies all dharmas. The ultimate truth demolishes all dharmas. The conventional truth establishes all dharmas.

摩訶止観始終心要Móhēzhǐguān, Shǐzhōngxīnyào.

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by Minobu » Tue Oct 24, 2017 7:37 pm

meh you are nothing...you are just a broken bit in the big machine of buddha..once you fix you ...you is gonzo..
get over what ever drivel you are on about...

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by DGA » Wed Oct 25, 2017 1:16 am

Minobu wrote:
Tue Oct 24, 2017 7:37 pm
meh you are nothing...you are just a broken bit in the big machine of buddha..once you fix you ...you is gonzo..
get over what ever drivel you are on about...
Hm?

To whom is this comment addressed?

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by DGA » Wed Oct 25, 2017 1:18 am

markatex wrote:
Tue Oct 24, 2017 3:38 am
"I am always thinking - 'how can I cause all living beings to enter into the way of the Buddha and quickly attain enlightenment?'"
This is the beating heart of the matter.

If you have this aspiration, then you have everything because everything else follows from it.

:cheers:

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Minobu
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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by Minobu » Wed Oct 25, 2017 5:37 am

DGA wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 1:16 am
Minobu wrote:
Tue Oct 24, 2017 7:37 pm
meh you are nothing...you are just a broken bit in the big machine of buddha..once you fix you ...you is gonzo..
get over what ever drivel you are on about...
Hm?

To whom is this comment addressed?
every sentient..i'm enlightened to the fact we are manifestations by Buddha and original enlightenment...finnaly understand everything comes from original enlightenment...sort like God but we are God
so if we are buddha and we are defiled...then we are broken bits being put back together in order to create a whole Buddha..like Taho buddha in the stupa came to witness Sakyamuni giving the teaching Lotus Sutra.

it's pantheism man!!! Buddha created us...like Malcolm said we are all in the palm of Vairocana Buddha ..
i've been blind read my posts so i don;t have to repeat myself.

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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by Queequeg » Wed Oct 25, 2017 3:51 pm

Minobu wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 5:37 am
we are broken bits
I'm not sure that is an artful way to think about it. Its dualistic.
“Once you have given up the ghost, everything follows with dead certainty, even in the midst of chaos.”
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Great for solving problems, after it creates the problems."
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Re: I chanted to have better relations with people and then something awkward happened between a friend and me?

Post by The Cicada » Wed Oct 25, 2017 4:02 pm

Minobu wrote:
Wed Oct 25, 2017 5:37 am
it's pantheism man!!!
Panentheisticish.

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