How do we know when it is time to separate ties from certain people in our lives?

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bcol01
Posts: 84
Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:20 pm

How do we know when it is time to separate ties from certain people in our lives?

Post by bcol01 » Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:03 pm

I recently stopped reaching out to two members of my family who've made no efforts to have much to do with me. They insist on giving me a litany of excuses as to why we're not close, putting it all on me. Nothing I say is heard and in fact, I feel like i'm constantly being gaslighted. So that's why I just stopped talking to them altogether. It was draining me. How do we know when it is time to separate ties from people, esp our own loved ones? I would appreciate your insights on this.

SunWuKong
Posts: 333
Joined: Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:15 pm

Re: How do we know when it is time to separate ties from certain people in our lives?

Post by SunWuKong » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:05 pm

bcol01 wrote:
Mon Jan 08, 2018 10:03 pm
I recently stopped reaching out to two members of my family who've made no efforts to have much to do with me. They insist on giving me a litany of excuses as to why we're not close, putting it all on me. Nothing I say is heard and in fact, I feel like i'm constantly being gaslighted. So that's why I just stopped talking to them altogether. It was draining me. How do we know when it is time to separate ties from people, esp our own loved ones? I would appreciate your insights on this.
It easier to continue as you are - keep reaching out to them - but dont expect much. If you arent being heard you can preface a remark by saying you'd like to have them continue as part of your life but they need to listen to something important you want to say to them. I've got the same problem with some of mine, but really, they still won't listen. Good Luck!
"We are magical animals that roam" ~ Roam

markatex
Posts: 290
Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:33 am

Re: How do we know when it is time to separate ties from certain people in our lives?

Post by markatex » Mon Jan 08, 2018 11:38 pm

It sounds like it’s probably time. Drop the rope. If they want to pick it up at some point in the future, they can. Don’t be The Giving Tree.

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Grigoris
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Re: How do we know when it is time to separate ties from certain people in our lives?

Post by Grigoris » Tue Jan 09, 2018 1:05 pm

Why do you feel that you need them in your life?
"My religion is not deceiving myself."
Jetsun Milarepa 1052-1135 CE

"Butchers, prostitutes, those guilty of the five most heinous crimes, outcasts, the underprivileged: all are utterly the substance of existence and nothing other than total bliss."
The Supreme Source - The Kunjed Gyalpo
The Fundamental Tantra of Dzogchen Semde

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