Help Needed

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Help Needed

Post by Diana » Sun Mar 25, 2018 11:28 pm

I posted a cry for help in the yahoo group Nichirenpix. I won't repeat myself here. Just want to say I'm going through a terrible time and need to hear, without platitudes, what you honestly think about the actual help of our practice and belief. I haven't practiced faithfully for awhile. I passed the end of my rope a long time ago. I've done anything in my power (above and beyond) and it's still rained crap upon crap. If you're interested and have a chance, please read my latest posts at Nichirenpix to understand what I'm talking about.

And now, maybe a non-Buddhist question, but a human one born of pain: do you think there's a force for good, a touch of kindness, a whisper of good wishes and help, a beam of light somewhere in the universe that watches and cares about me and is willing to help? Does chanting provide a connection? I used to answer questions like this, but can't anymore. You don't have to answer, but if you do, please don't be frivolous or sarcastic. I'm in too much pain.



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Re: Help Needed

Post by Minobu » Mon Mar 26, 2018 6:11 pm

I've read this a bunch of times and my heart bleeds each time.

I don;t think there is anything of help outside of ourselves that will have any lasting effect to our future.

It's like we have been around and creating karma longer than that length of time the Buddha describes as to when He first attained enlightenment.

We have a lot of crap to answer for...

So Buddha gave us a practice for us to develop all the necessary attributes to combat our nightmares that crop up in our daily life.

hopefully we are able to grow and develop these attributes despite the nightmares we sometimes live through.

I've caved into them from time to time and things just remained a nightmare till they burned themselves out and were replaced by other nightmares...

it's the nature of my life...but i know this practice has nothing to do with my nightmares and that somehow it is working on me to be able to combat the nightmares...

So like the man said is like a dream within a dream...

and like the guy at the store answered me when i asked him how are things going ? " Oh living the dream one nightmare at a time "

all the best from one d to another d


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Re: Help Needed

Post by Queequeg » Mon Mar 26, 2018 6:34 pm


I read your post in the other forum. I offer you my prayers.

My father recently had heart surgery and we learned that he had a minor stroke, as well. We are fortunate that his stroke was not worse and that the doctors were able to diagnose his heart problems now before something catastrophic occurred. Nonetheless, it has been stressful for my family. I can only imagine how much more stressful it is for you.

In the Nichiren tradition, we do not emphasize the Four Noble Truths. Notwithstanding, they are the foundation of the Buddhist path. It is difficult to understand the path without it.

The first of the Noble Truth is Dukkha, often translated as, "Suffering".

The Buddha explained:
Now what is the noble truth of suffering? Birth is suffering, aging is suffering, death is suffering; sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair are suffering; association with the unbeloved is suffering; separation from the loved is suffering; not getting what one wants is suffering. In short, the five clinging-aggregates are suffering.
There is no escape from suffering in the threefold world.

There is the famous story of Kisa Gotami and the Mustard Seeds. Kisa Gotami was a young mother who lost her son. Carrying her son's lifeless body around, she was inconsolable. She found herself in front of the Buddha who promised that if she could find mustard seeds from a household untouched by death, he could prepare medicine to revive her son. Kisa Gotami went door to door, but could not find a household untouched by death. She realized that death is unavoidable and returned to the Buddha, thereafter committing to the Buddhist path.
Kisa Gotami and the Mustard Seed

We all face the inevitability of death. If we are fortunate, we will also face old age. We will with a high degree of certainty face illness in our lives. We will be fortunate if we face these surrounded and supported by our loved ones.

Your husband has the great fortune to face his illness in your company. You may, however, feel the full weight of his circumstances, as well as yours, and clearly it is incredibly stressful. You are also facing a tremendous opportunity to embody compassion and loving kindness, equanimity and patience. This is a great opportunity to put the Buddhist teachings into practice.

I gather that you have been practicing for over two decades. This is one of those moments that you have been preparing for all these years. All that practice and study was to prepare you to carry this moment, not only for yourself, but for your husband.

Gongyo is how we direct the energies of mind, speech and body to Buddhist practice in our moment to moment experience. Study is how we channel those energies based on wisdom. Together, these enable us to embody the Buddha Dharma.

I don't have magic words to offer you. Just offer you some words that assure you that you are not alone, that your situation is not futile, that even in the face of hardship, our practice continues.

PM me if you would like to discuss further offline.
Those who, even with distracted minds,
Entered a stupa compound
And chanted but once, “Namo Buddhaya!”
Have certainly attained the path of the buddhas.

-Lotus Sutra, Expedient Means Chapter

There are beings with little dust in their eyes who are falling away because they do not hear the Dhamma. There will be those who will understand the Dhamma.
-Ayacana Sutta

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Re: Help Needed

Post by narhwal90 » Tue Mar 27, 2018 12:00 am

Personally I have found the practice to be more about developing composure, acceptance, compassion than fixing external trouble. It may be that actions can become more skilful and constructive and so ultimately affect one's surroundings. Thats nice to say and all but maybe not a lot of help when the fear and anxiety are upon you. Sometimes having someone to talk to, to share the troubles with, can make things easier & calmer at least for a little while. Fear, anger, resentment etc can so easily compound in isolation.

Back in 2015 my father went in for bladder cancer- chemo, etc it was a 10 month or so process culminating in removal of his bladder, full of uncertainty and unknowns the whole way. He's been clear since, but there was a really bad week in the hospital; collapse & convulsions etc... For my part, going in to visit and sometimes just to be there with him for a while was all I could contribute, it certainly needed my practice to be in reasonable form; to stay in acceptance & patience as best I could, and not in fear.

Good luck, Diana and perhaps sharing more might help, if you feel comfortable doing so...

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Re: Help Needed

Post by Minobu » Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:20 pm

Diana , i had a look at Niciren pix and saw that you have been around a long time.
Your ordeal and it being made public had me reflect deeply on my practice...Once again!

I've had a rough life, a hard life. I've sought the answers to why all this human suffering since a kid watching my Grandmother come home from a cancer hospital all burned from radiation and sick beyond belief...

Buddhism gave me the answer...Karma...personal Karma.. i'm at a stage in life where i cannot afford anything to be sugar coated...

so last night i was at odds with my practice once again...the only thing i could come up with that was good is ...Everyone comments on how good i look...i really look good and beaming with happiness when actually i'm bummed beyond belief due to family problems...

for my age and the life i've led i should look like Kieth Richards.

But is this at the end of my day thoughts raced through me noggin and i realized it's all down to me...

i look at the years of practice, the shakabukku of lots of people including both parents...all the effort into buddhism and then wondering why am i still struggling with so many things.....

Some of my friends don't give a hoot about their life and yet everything falls into their hands...all of my's like standing in front of Tiffany's and drooling...

so the sugar coating dispelled i realized health and opportunities and those close to you you love is all about what you attract...

do i really want to do a gazzilion more of these lives...i don;t think i just accept the worse and carry on with hope ...not for a pure land paradise...but truly developing myself for myself and others with this practice of :

The Tathagata again preached in a verse, saying,

The supreme path of all Buddhas
Has the marks of perfect light and eternal abiding.
Those who enter meditative concentration together with [the Buddha]
In the same way realized the mind of enlightenment

for me that "Those who enter meditative concentration together with [the Buddha]
In the same way realized the mind of enlightenment"

is none other than the practice Nichiren Shonin finally placed into this world we dwell in.

focusing on the ODaimoku in front of Gohonzon ....letting all the random thoughts be ignored...and ignored...and concentrate on the ODiamoku and Gohonzon...comfortably ease ...

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