What is the best way to deal with an overly inquisitive/suffocating friend?

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bcol01
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What is the best way to deal with an overly inquisitive/suffocating friend?

Post by bcol01 »

I have a friend (well, he's my roommate really) and I swear, whenever he wakes up, if i'm in the study or whatever, he'll come out and automatically start firing off questions (not in an angry way but just hurriedly? almost) like, "do you work today?", "what are your plans today?", etc. Now this isn't just mere questions or conversation. It's like he's super inquisitive to the point of invasive and suffocating/interrogating and it's really off-putting to me. I don't want to be rude and tell him to back off and "enough with the 20 questions, Counselor" but shit lol.

How do I effectively set boundaries with this type?
In his writing, Hokkemongu (Words and Phrases of the Lotus Sutra), The Great Master Nichiren said, “If the practitioners of the Lotus Sutra wholeheartedly devote their life to the Lotus Sutra and practice according to its golden words, it is certainly needless to say that not only in the next life, but also in this lifetime they will overcome severe difficulty, prolong their life, receive the great, good fortune of unsurpassed enlightenment, and accomplish the great vow of the widespread, propagation of True Buddhism.”
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Queequeg
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Re: What is the best way to deal with an overly inquisitive/suffocating friend?

Post by Queequeg »

"bro, I need to get some work done. Do you mind?"
There is no suffering to be severed. Ignorance and klesas are indivisible from bodhi. There is no cause of suffering to be abandoned. Since extremes and the false are the Middle and genuine, there is no path to be practiced. Samsara is nirvana. No severance achieved. No suffering nor its cause. No path, no end. There is no transcendent realm; there is only the one true aspect. There is nothing separate from the true aspect.
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bcol01
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Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:20 pm

Re: What is the best way to deal with an overly inquisitive/suffocating friend?

Post by bcol01 »

Lol ok. So let's say I'm just doing my own thing, watching TV or just making food?
Queequeg wrote: Sat Aug 11, 2018 5:27 pm "bro, I need to get some work done. Do you mind?"
In his writing, Hokkemongu (Words and Phrases of the Lotus Sutra), The Great Master Nichiren said, “If the practitioners of the Lotus Sutra wholeheartedly devote their life to the Lotus Sutra and practice according to its golden words, it is certainly needless to say that not only in the next life, but also in this lifetime they will overcome severe difficulty, prolong their life, receive the great, good fortune of unsurpassed enlightenment, and accomplish the great vow of the widespread, propagation of True Buddhism.”
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justsit
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Re: What is the best way to deal with an overly inquisitive/suffocating friend?

Post by justsit »

You can try the friendly, joking approach -"Is this a test?!"

Or the flip-it-back approach - "Why do you ask?"

Or if it's really bothering you, just say so. "I prefer not to answer, " or, "I feel uncomfortable when you ask so many questions, it's invasive. Please stop."
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mechashivaz
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Re: What is the best way to deal with an overly inquisitive/suffocating friend?

Post by mechashivaz »

bcol01 wrote: Sat Aug 11, 2018 5:26 pm I have a friend (well, he's my roommate really) and I swear, whenever he wakes up, if i'm in the study or whatever, he'll come out and automatically start firing off questions (not in an angry way but just hurriedly? almost) like, "do you work today?", "what are your plans today?", etc. Now this isn't just mere questions or conversation. It's like he's super inquisitive to the point of invasive and suffocating/interrogating and it's really off-putting to me. I don't want to be rude and tell him to back off and "enough with the 20 questions, Counselor" but shit lol.

How do I effectively set boundaries with this type?
Sounds like he's trying to feel out your day so maybe he can plan his day accordingly within the common space? Maybe when he fires off the questions, before responding, ask him something like, "Why do you ask?" Hash it out with him, see what his motive is, let him know how you feel. Open, honest, and assertive is the best way to resolve and avoid these situations.
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