How do you safeguard yourself from being caught up in someone else's dysfunction/delusions?

Post Reply
bcol01
Posts: 142
Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:20 pm

How do you safeguard yourself from being caught up in someone else's dysfunction/delusions?

Post by bcol01 » Fri Aug 24, 2018 5:50 pm

What if it is someone that you cannot easily avoid?

I have always been rather "sensitive" if you will, and as reasonable and as logical as I can be, I feel that me being more in-touch with my emotions also makes it easy for me to get swept up in other people's ignorance. To be precise, I feel that I'm easily affected by their energy/attitude, etc. I want to be like a rock lol but not void of what makes me "me", being caring, empathetic, etc but I have a hard time sometimes staying centered around difficult people. How do I balance my compassion for others without being tossed about and thrown off-center? I'd appreciate your thoughts. Chanting away on this.

User avatar
Karma Dorje
Posts: 1361
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:35 pm

Re: How do you safeguard yourself from being caught up in someone else's dysfunction/delusions?

Post by Karma Dorje » Fri Aug 24, 2018 6:08 pm

bcol01 wrote:
Fri Aug 24, 2018 5:50 pm
What if it is someone that you cannot easily avoid?

I have always been rather "sensitive" if you will, and as reasonable and as logical as I can be, I feel that me being more in-touch with my emotions also makes it easy for me to get swept up in other people's ignorance. To be precise, I feel that I'm easily affected by their energy/attitude, etc. I want to be like a rock lol but not void of what makes me "me", being caring, empathetic, etc but I have a hard time sometimes staying centered around difficult people. How do I balance my compassion for others without being tossed about and thrown off-center? I'd appreciate your thoughts. Chanting away on this.
All relationships are a negotiation. Set the boundaries for what is acceptable to you and clearly articulate these boundaries and how you feel harmed when they are overstepped. If this is not possible and the people that disturb you can't be completely avoided, limit your time with them. Without you keeping your own balance, you aren't of much help to them anyway. Being compassionate doesn't mean being a doormat.

The power of prayer, aspiration and recitation is not diminished by physical distance. And don't worry, stability comes through continuous application. It most definitely gets easier with time. Best of luck with your difficult friends!
"Although my view is higher than the sky, My respect for the cause and effect of actions is as fine as grains of flour."
-Padmasambhava

bcol01
Posts: 142
Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:20 pm

Re: How do you safeguard yourself from being caught up in someone else's dysfunction/delusions?

Post by bcol01 » Fri Aug 24, 2018 6:16 pm

Ty! All of what you said really makes sense to me and I totally agree, "being compassionate doesn't mean being a doormat".
*Gassho*
Karma Dorje wrote:
Fri Aug 24, 2018 6:08 pm
bcol01 wrote:
Fri Aug 24, 2018 5:50 pm
What if it is someone that you cannot easily avoid?

I have always been rather "sensitive" if you will, and as reasonable and as logical as I can be, I feel that me being more in-touch with my emotions also makes it easy for me to get swept up in other people's ignorance. To be precise, I feel that I'm easily affected by their energy/attitude, etc. I want to be like a rock lol but not void of what makes me "me", being caring, empathetic, etc but I have a hard time sometimes staying centered around difficult people. How do I balance my compassion for others without being tossed about and thrown off-center? I'd appreciate your thoughts. Chanting away on this.
All relationships are a negotiation. Set the boundaries for what is acceptable to you and clearly articulate these boundaries and how you feel harmed when they are overstepped. If this is not possible and the people that disturb you can't be completely avoided, limit your time with them. Without you keeping your own balance, you aren't of much help to them anyway. Being compassionate doesn't mean being a doormat.

The power of prayer, aspiration and recitation is not diminished by physical distance. And don't worry, stability comes through continuous application. It most definitely gets easier with time. Best of luck with your difficult friends!

Post Reply

Return to “Nichiren”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 15 guests