Is it being attached to miss someone?

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MiphamFan
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Is it being attached to miss someone?

Post by MiphamFan »

If I have to part ways with someone soon with little hope of seeing her again and I feel sad, am I being attached?
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Redfaery
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Re: Is it being attached to miss someone?

Post by Redfaery »

Of course it is. Think about it this way - every day you pass people on the street and you will never see them again. Do you mourn that?

Doesn't mean you should beat yourself up over it though, and I'm really sorry you're feeling sad. :consoling:
NAMO SARASWATI DEVI
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - GANDHI
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tomschwarz
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Re: Is it being attached to miss someone?

Post by tomschwarz »

MiphamFan wrote:If I have to part ways with someone soon with little hope of seeing her again and I feel sad, am I being attached?
is it (feeling sad) being (?) attached (?).

dearest miphamfan, don't worry about this situation. it is your tender heart. and it is your wind horse. put your shoulders back and take on the full reality of the responsibility to care for her, on her terms. not the illusion of your empire of self. silence your conceptual mind, raise your eyebrows and embrace the reality of those who need caring and your ability to love with great wisdom and skill.

that is the natural transform of attachment/desire into the pristine cognition of discernment, without renunciation.

you have my full love and support in this situation.
i dedicate this post to your happiness, the causes of your happiness, the absence of your suffering the causes of the absence of your suffering that we may not have too much attachment nor aversion. SAMAYAMANUPALAYA
muni
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Re: Is it being attached to miss someone?

Post by muni »

MiphamFan wrote:If I have to part ways with someone soon with little hope of seeing her again and I feel sad, am I being attached?
I am sorry for that.

I know that feeling, MiphamFan.

I feel now a bit, when I contemplate about, that it is my mind its reaction from which I suffered. Holding on the image of the beloved one in our mind is increasing that pain in our heart, by which mind falls in a chain of reactions till these soften. That holding on image keeps the pain alive by many changing thoughts/feelings/memory. Remaining in such is actually harming ourselves. Please lets' not do that.

I heard ones that when we are in love, it is in fact being in love with the nice feeling we get by interaction. I had to contemplate about that, a bit later. Then when that nice feeling is not any longer fed, is destroyed, we feel a painful emptiness. To be freed of it can in few ways, one is that others are more, oneself is only one, H H Dalai Lama said. When I go out I see poor beings, with problems of all kind. They open my heart and love can flow by which own pain is losing.

May you be well. :namaste:
Conversely, viewing the self as a mere convention or as a designated label for our dynamic stream of experience - consciousness in relation to the body and the world - is in harmony with the interdependent and impermanent nature of reality; and leads to a state of well-being grounded in wisdom, altruism, compassion, and inner freedom.
https://www.matthieuricard.org/en/blog/ ... he-self--2

Simplicity reveals the nature of the mind behind the veil of restless thoughts.
https://www.matthieuricard.org/en/blog/ ... plicity--2
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catmoon
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Re: Is it being attached to miss someone?

Post by catmoon »

MiphamFan wrote:If I have to part ways with someone soon with little hope of seeing her again and I feel sad, am I being attached?
There are degrees and types of attachment. If the pain fades with time, this is a simple attachment that will change from pain to wistfulness to forgetfulness and then disappear.

If the pain grows over time, it is feeding on itself, and you are adding energy to it in a most unhealthy way. Corrective measures will be needed.
Sergeant Schultz knew everything there was to know.
emaho
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Re: Is it being attached to miss someone?

Post by emaho »

MiphamFan wrote:If I have to part ways with someone soon with little hope of seeing her again and I feel sad, am I being attached?
If you're attached to a person you can turn that into compassion by praying "May that person be happy". And you can turn that into Bodhicitta by praying "May that person and all beings be happy and reach enlightenment soon".
"I struggled with some demons, They were middle class and tame..." L. Cohen
newbie
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Re: Is it being attached to miss someone?

Post by newbie »

MiphamFan wrote:If I have to part ways with someone soon with little hope of seeing her again and I feel sad, am I being attached?
Short answer: No.
Long answer: It is more important that you find a way out of troubled waters rather than to deceive yourself with the nonexistence of your feelings.
Denying them would mean you're not in touch with them.
newbie
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Re: Is it being attached to miss someone?

Post by newbie »

Thank you! :anjali:
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